Thursday, November 30, 2006
if Oprah gave me $1000
Oprah recently gave all of her studio audience $1000 and a Sony camera with the stipulation they spend the money on someone else and film it.
Now one of the audience was a local Boise woman, and what did she do with the money?
Buy Pizza and then tip the 4 drivers between $200 and $300 each. Nice for them but it seems like the lazy way out.
This time of year there are so many good charities begging on bended knees for any help they can get and this woman decides to take the easy way out. Four people get a nice treat, OK but dozens and dozens COULD have been helped.
I have always said that if I was rich I would buy a new high quality artificial tree every year, buy all the ornaments in some theme and then when the season is over pack it up and donate it to a charity to either have and use or to sale/auction off. As it is I donate stuff every year even though I can barely afford it.
If you gave me $1000 and told me I HAD to spend it on strangers then I would make that money go as far as humanly possible.
I would also divide the money up, and yes I can think of 3 things to do with $333.
First off I would go to local super market chains and ask them about getting a group discount on turkeys, tell them I will spend $333 AND film the one who gives me the lowest bid on turkeys for the Idaho Food bank.
I would go toy shopping, I mean I COULD just donate the $333 to Toys for Tots but I would love to be able to go bargain shopping and spend the money, I am pretty sure I could stretch the hell out of that money and have fun doing it.
Lastly I would go shopping for stuff for the homeless, I would hit all the discount places and buy up tons of hats, scarves and gloves, buy blankets and whatever the local Interfaint council told me they needed most for their emergency mission.
Yeah that would take some of my time, but then I like to shop as long as I have access to a mart-cart. I would spread every dime as thin as I could and do as much as I could and make sure dozens of kids have at least one decent toy this year, a dozen or more families have a turkey and that the emergency mission here in town had what they needed.
Then I would hock the camera and buy all my friends a drink.
Too much time
My new background is proof I have too much time on my hands. I wanted a winter background I knew no one else could have unless they took it from me so I made one.
I went to this cool site that has real photos of wonderful snow flakes to show the variety of them but all of them where on a mixed blue background so I downloaded about 20 of them and changed the backgrounds to black and chose the best ones and then cut them out and put them on a black background. Sounds easy but it wasted about an hour and a half of my time what with searching for them and all. But I think I came out wonderful.
I am back to sleeping 2 or 3 hours at a time, I was sort of worried since I had one day where I slept about 14 hours but I think it was just my body catching up with its need for sleep. So far I really haven't had to many S.A.D. symptoms (KNOCK WOOD)
I am going to go have breakfast with my mom after giving CJ a ride home from work so I had better go warm up the car, I realized that the poor thing has not had an oil change in about a year (yes I am embarrassed) and so driving it bone cold is not a bright idea, I will get one this next week when I get paid.
I have LIFE IS A HIGHWAY stuck in my head and it is driving me nuts so I am driving the cats nuts by singing the first verse (the only one I remember) over and over in silly voices. Yes I talk to myself when I am alone, I don't carry on conversations so much as I just burst out with silly things every so often and the cats look at me like "would you be quite we are sleeping"
Oh well I make myself laugh so it is worth it.
Winterborn
(this is the song on my profile right now, I am going to try to get it played at my birthday party)
Dry your eyes and quietly bear this pain with pride
For heaven shall remember the silent and the brave
And promise me they will never see, the fear within our eyes
(my eyes are closed)
We will give strength to those who still remain
So bury fear, for fate draws near
And hide the signs of pain
With noble acts, the bravest souls
Endure the heart's remains
Discard regret, that in this debt
A better world is made
That children of a newer day might remember
And avoid our fate
(I've waited all day in the pouring rain, but nobody came, no, nobody came)
And in the fury of this darkest hour
We will be your light
You've asked me for my sacrifice
And I am Winter born
Without denying, a faith is come
That I have never known
I hear the angels call my name
And I am Winter born
Hold your head up high-for there is no greater love
Think of the faces of the people you defend
(you defend)
And promise me, they will never see the tears within our eyes
(my eyes are closed)
Although we are men, with mortal sins, angels never cry
So bury fear, for fate draws near
And hide the signs of pain
With noble acts, the bravest souls
Endure the heart's remains
Discard regret, that in this debt
A better world is made
That children of a newer day might remember
And avoid our fate
And in the fury of this darkest hour
We will be your light
You've asked me for my sacrifice
And I am Winter born
Without denying, a faith in God
That I have never known
I hear the angels call my name
And I am Winter born
And in the fury of this darkest hour
I will be your light
A lifetime for this destiny
For I am Winter born
And in this moment..I will not run
It is my place to stand
We few shall carry hope
Within our bloodied hands
(bloodied hands)
And in our Dying, we're more alive-than we have ever been
I've lived for these few seconds
For I am Winter born
And in the fury of this darkest hour
We will be the light
You've asked me for my sacrifice
And I am Winter born
Without denying, a faith in man
That I have never known
I hear the angels call my name
And I am Winter born
Within this moment now
I am for you, though better men have failed
I will give my life for love
For I am Winter born
And in my dying
I'm more alive, than I have ever been
I will make this sacrifice
For I am Winter born
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
25 questions for 2006
1) Was 2006 a good year for you? Actually it was, even though my arthritis has deteriorated and I hurt most of the time, emotionally I feel better than I have in a long time. I am in a good relationship, I am ok financially and I am on a stable regiment of medicine that works better than I ever have had.
2) What was your favorite moment of the year? When I finally realized I was in love with CJ and he was in love with me as well.
3) What was your least favorite moment of the year? When I thought things were not going to work out with CJ and me early on cause of some troubles that came our way for a few weeks, thankfully it did not last long.
4) Where were you when 2006 began? In bed with a friend watching tv we were both sick
5)Who were you with? *A*
6)What were your new years resolution of 2006? Oh god pretty much the same as always . . . Wish I was better at them.
Taking better care of myself
To Be happy more
To be less cynical
To be more open and allow myself to trust a guy if the chance came along
To love myself more
Get my house in order so I can be proud of it
7)Did you keep your new years resolution of 2006? Lets see
Taking better care of myself… I did alright 'til the middle of the year when I found out I could eat dairy again, now I am addicted to Ice cream and I have to stop, I have actually gained a little weight since the start of the year.
To Be happy more… I actually spent a lot of this year pretty happy over all, I would say well more than half the time I was pretty happy, I have learned to separate my physical pain from my state of happiness.
To be less cynical…I am trying hard to not let things get me down, I am pretty happy over all and yet I am very cynical about my physical state.
To be more open and allow myself to trust a guy if the chance came along… I did this twice, once to *A* and he pretty much just proved I meant nothing to him but then I finally really opened my heart and found CJ and have been pretty damn happy since..
To love myself more… I want to love myself in all ways but I still feel like my body has betrayed me and I have betrayed my body, I am not getting anywhere and I feel as if I never really will and that makes it damn hard to love your body when you hurt all the time. Emotionally I am more forgiving of myself than I have been in the past
Get my house in order so I can be proud of it… I got motivated and unpacked my possessions and realized I was staying here longer than a year after all. My house needs to be cleaned from top to bottom, hurting so bad it is hard to keep up with. I plan to have it totally clean by Christmas 06 as a Christmas gift to myself.
8)Do you have a new years resolution for 2007? Pretty much the same as always
Take better care of myself. . . Now it is getting desperate, I have so much trouble exercising and I hurt so bad and my impulse control sucks, even just gaining 12 pounds has made my knees hurt so much more. I HAVE to get serious, I have to loose weight, eat healthy and change my way of taking care of myself
Make my relationship work, make it last more than a year, keep it healthy and sane. . .this relationship is important to me, I want to prove I can have a loving healthy relationship that lasts
Keep up with my house better . . . I get so very depressed when the house gets messy and cluttered. Part of this is figuring out what to do about the damn cats, mostly princess and the litterbox issue before I have to give her away or something.
Shave the cats and keep them shaved . . . Possibly the weirdest resolution I have ever made, I love my cats, I hate their long fur, it is everywhere and ends up in mats and they wont let me brush them so I am having to shave them a little at a time and I feel if I could just keep them that way it would be so much better. I will never own another long hair cat if I can help it.
9)Did you fall in love in 2006? With whom? Yes!! With CJ
10)Are you still in love? YES!!!
11)Did you breakup with anyone in 2006 (got broken up with)? I was involved with *A* and when he decided he did not want to be involved with me anymore he also decided we were not friends enough to let me know he was done with me.
12) Did you cheat on anyone this year? No, until CJ I was not in a serious committed relationship and so I could not cheat and I have NO intention of cheating on CJ ever.
13)Did you consider having children at all this year? I am childless by choice and this has cost me BFs as in the past.
14)Did you make any new friends in 2006? I became good friends with Danielle and made a few other friends as well
15)What was your favorite month of 2006? Probably Oct, but Nov has been pretty good as well,
16)What was your Least favorite month of 2006? Aug, CJ and I were dealing with some crap and I was just figuring out I was in love and was not sure if things could work out, we did not get into a committed relationship until Sept.
17)Did you travel in 2006? No I did not have any money for it early in the year and with the arthritis I could not handle the driving needed to go anywhere very far.
18)What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006? Pirates of the Caribbean 2
19)What was your favorite song from 2006? I have such a hard time choosing one song there have been so many I enjoyed. But I do have to admit every time CRAZY BITCH by Buck Cherry comes on I sing it.
20)Did you treat somebody badly in 2006? I try to never treat anyone badly
21)Did somebody treat you badly in 2005? Yeah I was involved with this guy, maybe not serious serious but I thought we were more than just bed buddies and when he decided after over 8 months to bail he did not even say goodbye. I also got stood up quite a few times and had a few guys act like they really liked me when all they wanted was to get laid.
22)If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be? I would have been more willing to get involved with CJ earlier and not let my fear of being hurt get in the way for over a month, making things hard for both of us for a while.
23)What are your plans for 2007? Loose some weight so I can feel better physically. Stay in a healthy relationship for more than a year and be happy. Take better care of myself in all ways.
24)Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006? No
25)Did you do anything this last year you wish you hadn't? I wish I had taken better care of myself physically.
**************************************
I read my answers from last year and it is kind of sad how few of my resolutions have changed and how little I kept them. I can say that except for physically this has been a better year though.
2) What was your favorite moment of the year? When I finally realized I was in love with CJ and he was in love with me as well.
3) What was your least favorite moment of the year? When I thought things were not going to work out with CJ and me early on cause of some troubles that came our way for a few weeks, thankfully it did not last long.
4) Where were you when 2006 began? In bed with a friend watching tv we were both sick
5)Who were you with? *A*
6)What were your new years resolution of 2006? Oh god pretty much the same as always . . . Wish I was better at them.
Taking better care of myself
To Be happy more
To be less cynical
To be more open and allow myself to trust a guy if the chance came along
To love myself more
Get my house in order so I can be proud of it
7)Did you keep your new years resolution of 2006? Lets see
Taking better care of myself… I did alright 'til the middle of the year when I found out I could eat dairy again, now I am addicted to Ice cream and I have to stop, I have actually gained a little weight since the start of the year.
To Be happy more… I actually spent a lot of this year pretty happy over all, I would say well more than half the time I was pretty happy, I have learned to separate my physical pain from my state of happiness.
To be less cynical…I am trying hard to not let things get me down, I am pretty happy over all and yet I am very cynical about my physical state.
To be more open and allow myself to trust a guy if the chance came along… I did this twice, once to *A* and he pretty much just proved I meant nothing to him but then I finally really opened my heart and found CJ and have been pretty damn happy since..
To love myself more… I want to love myself in all ways but I still feel like my body has betrayed me and I have betrayed my body, I am not getting anywhere and I feel as if I never really will and that makes it damn hard to love your body when you hurt all the time. Emotionally I am more forgiving of myself than I have been in the past
Get my house in order so I can be proud of it… I got motivated and unpacked my possessions and realized I was staying here longer than a year after all. My house needs to be cleaned from top to bottom, hurting so bad it is hard to keep up with. I plan to have it totally clean by Christmas 06 as a Christmas gift to myself.
8)Do you have a new years resolution for 2007? Pretty much the same as always
Take better care of myself. . . Now it is getting desperate, I have so much trouble exercising and I hurt so bad and my impulse control sucks, even just gaining 12 pounds has made my knees hurt so much more. I HAVE to get serious, I have to loose weight, eat healthy and change my way of taking care of myself
Make my relationship work, make it last more than a year, keep it healthy and sane. . .this relationship is important to me, I want to prove I can have a loving healthy relationship that lasts
Keep up with my house better . . . I get so very depressed when the house gets messy and cluttered. Part of this is figuring out what to do about the damn cats, mostly princess and the litterbox issue before I have to give her away or something.
Shave the cats and keep them shaved . . . Possibly the weirdest resolution I have ever made, I love my cats, I hate their long fur, it is everywhere and ends up in mats and they wont let me brush them so I am having to shave them a little at a time and I feel if I could just keep them that way it would be so much better. I will never own another long hair cat if I can help it.
9)Did you fall in love in 2006? With whom? Yes!! With CJ
10)Are you still in love? YES!!!
11)Did you breakup with anyone in 2006 (got broken up with)? I was involved with *A* and when he decided he did not want to be involved with me anymore he also decided we were not friends enough to let me know he was done with me.
12) Did you cheat on anyone this year? No, until CJ I was not in a serious committed relationship and so I could not cheat and I have NO intention of cheating on CJ ever.
13)Did you consider having children at all this year? I am childless by choice and this has cost me BFs as in the past.
14)Did you make any new friends in 2006? I became good friends with Danielle and made a few other friends as well
15)What was your favorite month of 2006? Probably Oct, but Nov has been pretty good as well,
16)What was your Least favorite month of 2006? Aug, CJ and I were dealing with some crap and I was just figuring out I was in love and was not sure if things could work out, we did not get into a committed relationship until Sept.
17)Did you travel in 2006? No I did not have any money for it early in the year and with the arthritis I could not handle the driving needed to go anywhere very far.
18)What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2006? Pirates of the Caribbean 2
19)What was your favorite song from 2006? I have such a hard time choosing one song there have been so many I enjoyed. But I do have to admit every time CRAZY BITCH by Buck Cherry comes on I sing it.
20)Did you treat somebody badly in 2006? I try to never treat anyone badly
21)Did somebody treat you badly in 2005? Yeah I was involved with this guy, maybe not serious serious but I thought we were more than just bed buddies and when he decided after over 8 months to bail he did not even say goodbye. I also got stood up quite a few times and had a few guys act like they really liked me when all they wanted was to get laid.
22)If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be? I would have been more willing to get involved with CJ earlier and not let my fear of being hurt get in the way for over a month, making things hard for both of us for a while.
23)What are your plans for 2007? Loose some weight so I can feel better physically. Stay in a healthy relationship for more than a year and be happy. Take better care of myself in all ways.
24)Did you lose anybody close to you in 2006? No
25)Did you do anything this last year you wish you hadn't? I wish I had taken better care of myself physically.
**************************************
I read my answers from last year and it is kind of sad how few of my resolutions have changed and how little I kept them. I can say that except for physically this has been a better year though.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
11-28-06
Chain letters? Current mood: geeky
Chain letters, Myspace is full of them, every time I look at my bulletins I find new ones.
I never participate, never send them on, I don't believe in them. But that does not stop me getting a slight creepy feeling when I open them and see how if I don't send them I will be miserable. Not that I believe it, but I hate to think it even. OK so why do I, a pretty much logical person, still get a sinking feeling when I see whatever the threat is connected to the message, is there some part of me that wonders if I am playing with fire?
Here is the thing, wouldn't it be great to be able to blame everything on your failure to pass on a chain letter? Wouldn't it be nice to say well it isn't my fault I have not met anyone decent or it isn't my fault so and so broke up with me, it was that chain letter I did not send six months ago. It would be so nice to give up responsibility for everything except passing on annoying chain mail.
If I do answer them and stuff still goes wrong is it them my fault? Do I have to find something else to blame? What about plain old luck? What about fate? Can we really circumvent those with the push of a few buttons? Wouldn't it be nice?
Now post this message on your own blog and send me a dollar and we will see if chain mail works… hey that would work for me anyway.
Chain letters, Myspace is full of them, every time I look at my bulletins I find new ones.
I never participate, never send them on, I don't believe in them. But that does not stop me getting a slight creepy feeling when I open them and see how if I don't send them I will be miserable. Not that I believe it, but I hate to think it even. OK so why do I, a pretty much logical person, still get a sinking feeling when I see whatever the threat is connected to the message, is there some part of me that wonders if I am playing with fire?
Here is the thing, wouldn't it be great to be able to blame everything on your failure to pass on a chain letter? Wouldn't it be nice to say well it isn't my fault I have not met anyone decent or it isn't my fault so and so broke up with me, it was that chain letter I did not send six months ago. It would be so nice to give up responsibility for everything except passing on annoying chain mail.
If I do answer them and stuff still goes wrong is it them my fault? Do I have to find something else to blame? What about plain old luck? What about fate? Can we really circumvent those with the push of a few buttons? Wouldn't it be nice?
Now post this message on your own blog and send me a dollar and we will see if chain mail works… hey that would work for me anyway.
********************************************
Happiness... Another one that caught my attention Current mood: happy
I do believe that some people have a natural tendency to be happy while there are others who have a similar hardwired tendency to let themselves be miserable. The cup is half full or half empty personalities. Me I am a "the Cup IS .. And doesn't the water look pretty in this light?" kind of person. I admit I am the type of person who, though I have many many problems and pains, sees the world as a pretty good place over all.I am no Pollyanna, I see the problems too. But a long time ago my grandmother taught me to try to find at least one great thing in every day that goes by. Lately it has been sunrises. I have had to get up early, often exhausted, to get CJ from work and this last week it has been just as the sunrise was happening and for me it was like a little reward for getting my ass out of bed. Sunrises are one of those things we often take for granted since they tend to be less showy than sunsets and last less time (at least here with mountains to the east) But to me that just makes them more special when I do see them.
I don't have to stop at night and make myself think of 3 good things because it is in my nature to recognize those things during the day but I do believe that doing so will help other people. I do believe in genetic predisposition but I believe in behaviorism as well, you CAN teach yourself to think differently. I had to teach myself to kill off negative self talk, thoughts about how awful I am, so that I could learn to survive without self loathing.
Anyway I found this article interesting if a little self explanatory, it just seemed to me the way I was raised to be one of those DUH moments… think positive and you will feel more positive… is something I was taught from birth. But I guess some people wont believe anything until you do a study on it.
***************************************
Researchers seek routes to happier life
By MALCOLM RITTER, AP Science Writer Sun Nov 26, 6:23 PM ET
NEW YORK - As a motivational speaker and executive coach, Caroline Adams Miller knows a few things about using mental exercises to achieve goals. But last year, one exercise she was asked to try took her by surprise.
Every night, she was to think of three good things that happened that day and analyze why they occurred. That was supposed to increase her overall happiness.
"I thought it was too simple to be effective," said Miller, 44, of Bethesda. Md. "I went to Harvard. I'm used to things being complicated."
Miller was assigned the task as homework in a master's degree program. But as a chronic worrier, she knew she could use the kind of boost the exercise was supposed to deliver.
She got it.
"The quality of my dreams has changed, I never have trouble falling asleep and I do feel happier," she said.
Results may vary, as they say in the weight-loss ads. But that exercise is one of several that have shown preliminary promise in recent research into how people can make themselves happier — not just for a day or two, but long-term. It's part of a larger body of work that challenges a long-standing skepticism about whether that's even possible.
There's no shortage of advice in how to become a happier person, as a visit to any bookstore will demonstrate. In fact, Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania and colleagues have collected more than 100 specific recommendations, ranging from those of the Buddha through the self-improvement industry of the 1990s.
The problem is, most of the books on store shelves aren't backed up by rigorous research, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside, who's conducting such studies now. (She's also writing her own book).
In fact, she says, there has been very little research in how people become happier.
Why? The big reason, she said, is that many researchers have considered that quest to be futile.
For decades, a widely accepted view has been that people are stuck with a basic setting on their happiness thermostat. It says the effects of good or bad life events like marriage, a raise, divorce, or disability will simply fade with time.
We adapt to them just like we stop noticing a bad odor from behind the living room couch after a while, this theory says. So this adaptation would seem to doom any deliberate attempt to raise a person's basic happiness setting.
As two researchers put it in 1996, "It may be that trying to be happier is as futile as trying to be taller."
But recent long-term studies have revealed that the happiness thermostat is more malleable than the popular theory maintained, at least in its extreme form. "Set-point is not destiny," says psychologist Ed Diener of the University of Illinois.
One new study showing change in happiness levels followed thousands of Germans for 17 years. It found that about a quarter changed significantly over that time in their basic level of satisfaction with life. (That's a popular happiness measure; some studies sample how one feels through the day instead.) Nearly a tenth of the German participants changed by three points or more on a 10-point scale.
Other studies show an effect of specific life events, though of course the results are averages and can't predict what will happen to particular individuals. Results show long-lasting shadows associated with events like serious disability, divorce, widowhood, and getting laid off.
The boost from getting married, on the other hand, seems to dissipate after about two years, says psychologist Richard E. Lucas of Michigan State University.
What about the joys of having children? Parents recall those years with fondness, but studies show childrearing takes a toll on marital satisfaction, Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert notes in his recent book, "Stumbling on Happiness." Parents gain in satisfaction as their kids leave home, he said.
"Despite what we read in the popular press," he writes, "the only known symptom of 'empty nest syndrome' is increased smiling."
Gilbert says people are awful at predicting what will make them happy. Yet, Lucas says, "most people are happy most of the time." That is, in a group of people who have reasonably good health and income, most will probably rate a 7.5 or so on a happiness scale of zero to 10, he says.
Still, many people want to be happier. What can they do? That's where research by Lyubomirsky, Seligman and others comes in.
The think-of-three-good-things exercise that Miller, the motivational speaker, found so simplistic at first is among those being tested by Seligman's group at the University of Pennsylvania.
People keep doing it on their own because it's immediately rewarding, said Seligman colleague Acacia Parks. It makes people focus more on good things that happen, which might otherwise be forgotten because of daily disappointments, she said.
Miller said the exercise made her notice more good things in her day, and that now she routinely lists 10 or 20 of them rather than just three.
A second approach that has shown promise in Seligman's group has people discover their personal strengths through a specialized questionnaire and choose the five most prominent ones. Then, every day for a week, they are to apply one or more of their strengths in a new way.
Strengths include things like the ability to find humor or summon enthusiasm, appreciation of beauty, curiosity and love of learning. The idea of the exercise is that using one's major "signature" strengths may be a good way to get engaged in satisfying activities.
These two exercises were among five tested on more than 500 people who'd visited a Web site called "Authentic Happiness." Seligman and colleagues reported last year that the two exercises increased happiness and reduced depressive symptoms for the six months that researchers tracked the participants. The effect was greater for people who kept doing the exercises frequently. A followup study has recently begun.
Another approach under study now is having people work on savoring the pleasing things in their lives like a warm shower or a good breakfast, Parks said. Yet another promising approach is having people write down what they want to be remembered for, to help them bring their daily activities in line with what's really important to them, she said.
Lyubomirsky, meanwhile, is testing some other simple strategies. "This is not rocket science," she said.
For example, in one experiment, participants were asked to regularly practice random acts of kindness, things like holding a door open for a stranger or doing a roommate's dishes, for 10 weeks. The idea was to improve a person's self-image and promote good interactions with other people.
Participants who performed a variety of acts, rather than repeating the same ones, showed an increase in happiness even a month after the experiment was concluded. Those who kept on doing the acts on their own did better than those who didn't.
Other approaches she has found some preliminary promise for include thinking about the happiest day in your life over and over again, without analyzing it, and writing about how you'll be 10 years from now, assuming everything goes just right.
Some strategies appear to work better for some people than others, so it's important to get the right fit, she said.
But it'll take more work to see just how long the happiness boost from all these interventions actually lasts, with studies tracking people for many months or years, Lyubomirsky said.
Any long-term effect will probably depend on people continuing to work at it, just as folks who move to southern California can lose their appreciation of the ocean and weather unless they pursue activities that highlight those natural benefits, she said.
In fact, Diener says, happiness probably is really about work and striving.
"Happiness is the process, not the place," he said via e-mail. "So many of us think that when we get everything just right, and obtain certain goals and circumstances, everything will be in place and we will be happy.... But once we get everything in place, we still need new goals and activities. The Princess could not just stop when she got the Prince."
I do believe that some people have a natural tendency to be happy while there are others who have a similar hardwired tendency to let themselves be miserable. The cup is half full or half empty personalities. Me I am a "the Cup IS .. And doesn't the water look pretty in this light?" kind of person. I admit I am the type of person who, though I have many many problems and pains, sees the world as a pretty good place over all.I am no Pollyanna, I see the problems too. But a long time ago my grandmother taught me to try to find at least one great thing in every day that goes by. Lately it has been sunrises. I have had to get up early, often exhausted, to get CJ from work and this last week it has been just as the sunrise was happening and for me it was like a little reward for getting my ass out of bed. Sunrises are one of those things we often take for granted since they tend to be less showy than sunsets and last less time (at least here with mountains to the east) But to me that just makes them more special when I do see them.
I don't have to stop at night and make myself think of 3 good things because it is in my nature to recognize those things during the day but I do believe that doing so will help other people. I do believe in genetic predisposition but I believe in behaviorism as well, you CAN teach yourself to think differently. I had to teach myself to kill off negative self talk, thoughts about how awful I am, so that I could learn to survive without self loathing.
Anyway I found this article interesting if a little self explanatory, it just seemed to me the way I was raised to be one of those DUH moments… think positive and you will feel more positive… is something I was taught from birth. But I guess some people wont believe anything until you do a study on it.
***************************************
Researchers seek routes to happier life
By MALCOLM RITTER, AP Science Writer Sun Nov 26, 6:23 PM ET
NEW YORK - As a motivational speaker and executive coach, Caroline Adams Miller knows a few things about using mental exercises to achieve goals. But last year, one exercise she was asked to try took her by surprise.
Every night, she was to think of three good things that happened that day and analyze why they occurred. That was supposed to increase her overall happiness.
"I thought it was too simple to be effective," said Miller, 44, of Bethesda. Md. "I went to Harvard. I'm used to things being complicated."
Miller was assigned the task as homework in a master's degree program. But as a chronic worrier, she knew she could use the kind of boost the exercise was supposed to deliver.
She got it.
"The quality of my dreams has changed, I never have trouble falling asleep and I do feel happier," she said.
Results may vary, as they say in the weight-loss ads. But that exercise is one of several that have shown preliminary promise in recent research into how people can make themselves happier — not just for a day or two, but long-term. It's part of a larger body of work that challenges a long-standing skepticism about whether that's even possible.
There's no shortage of advice in how to become a happier person, as a visit to any bookstore will demonstrate. In fact, Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania and colleagues have collected more than 100 specific recommendations, ranging from those of the Buddha through the self-improvement industry of the 1990s.
The problem is, most of the books on store shelves aren't backed up by rigorous research, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside, who's conducting such studies now. (She's also writing her own book).
In fact, she says, there has been very little research in how people become happier.
Why? The big reason, she said, is that many researchers have considered that quest to be futile.
For decades, a widely accepted view has been that people are stuck with a basic setting on their happiness thermostat. It says the effects of good or bad life events like marriage, a raise, divorce, or disability will simply fade with time.
We adapt to them just like we stop noticing a bad odor from behind the living room couch after a while, this theory says. So this adaptation would seem to doom any deliberate attempt to raise a person's basic happiness setting.
As two researchers put it in 1996, "It may be that trying to be happier is as futile as trying to be taller."
But recent long-term studies have revealed that the happiness thermostat is more malleable than the popular theory maintained, at least in its extreme form. "Set-point is not destiny," says psychologist Ed Diener of the University of Illinois.
One new study showing change in happiness levels followed thousands of Germans for 17 years. It found that about a quarter changed significantly over that time in their basic level of satisfaction with life. (That's a popular happiness measure; some studies sample how one feels through the day instead.) Nearly a tenth of the German participants changed by three points or more on a 10-point scale.
Other studies show an effect of specific life events, though of course the results are averages and can't predict what will happen to particular individuals. Results show long-lasting shadows associated with events like serious disability, divorce, widowhood, and getting laid off.
The boost from getting married, on the other hand, seems to dissipate after about two years, says psychologist Richard E. Lucas of Michigan State University.
What about the joys of having children? Parents recall those years with fondness, but studies show childrearing takes a toll on marital satisfaction, Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert notes in his recent book, "Stumbling on Happiness." Parents gain in satisfaction as their kids leave home, he said.
"Despite what we read in the popular press," he writes, "the only known symptom of 'empty nest syndrome' is increased smiling."
Gilbert says people are awful at predicting what will make them happy. Yet, Lucas says, "most people are happy most of the time." That is, in a group of people who have reasonably good health and income, most will probably rate a 7.5 or so on a happiness scale of zero to 10, he says.
Still, many people want to be happier. What can they do? That's where research by Lyubomirsky, Seligman and others comes in.
The think-of-three-good-things exercise that Miller, the motivational speaker, found so simplistic at first is among those being tested by Seligman's group at the University of Pennsylvania.
People keep doing it on their own because it's immediately rewarding, said Seligman colleague Acacia Parks. It makes people focus more on good things that happen, which might otherwise be forgotten because of daily disappointments, she said.
Miller said the exercise made her notice more good things in her day, and that now she routinely lists 10 or 20 of them rather than just three.
A second approach that has shown promise in Seligman's group has people discover their personal strengths through a specialized questionnaire and choose the five most prominent ones. Then, every day for a week, they are to apply one or more of their strengths in a new way.
Strengths include things like the ability to find humor or summon enthusiasm, appreciation of beauty, curiosity and love of learning. The idea of the exercise is that using one's major "signature" strengths may be a good way to get engaged in satisfying activities.
These two exercises were among five tested on more than 500 people who'd visited a Web site called "Authentic Happiness." Seligman and colleagues reported last year that the two exercises increased happiness and reduced depressive symptoms for the six months that researchers tracked the participants. The effect was greater for people who kept doing the exercises frequently. A followup study has recently begun.
Another approach under study now is having people work on savoring the pleasing things in their lives like a warm shower or a good breakfast, Parks said. Yet another promising approach is having people write down what they want to be remembered for, to help them bring their daily activities in line with what's really important to them, she said.
Lyubomirsky, meanwhile, is testing some other simple strategies. "This is not rocket science," she said.
For example, in one experiment, participants were asked to regularly practice random acts of kindness, things like holding a door open for a stranger or doing a roommate's dishes, for 10 weeks. The idea was to improve a person's self-image and promote good interactions with other people.
Participants who performed a variety of acts, rather than repeating the same ones, showed an increase in happiness even a month after the experiment was concluded. Those who kept on doing the acts on their own did better than those who didn't.
Other approaches she has found some preliminary promise for include thinking about the happiest day in your life over and over again, without analyzing it, and writing about how you'll be 10 years from now, assuming everything goes just right.
Some strategies appear to work better for some people than others, so it's important to get the right fit, she said.
But it'll take more work to see just how long the happiness boost from all these interventions actually lasts, with studies tracking people for many months or years, Lyubomirsky said.
Any long-term effect will probably depend on people continuing to work at it, just as folks who move to southern California can lose their appreciation of the ocean and weather unless they pursue activities that highlight those natural benefits, she said.
In fact, Diener says, happiness probably is really about work and striving.
"Happiness is the process, not the place," he said via e-mail. "So many of us think that when we get everything just right, and obtain certain goals and circumstances, everything will be in place and we will be happy.... But once we get everything in place, we still need new goals and activities. The Princess could not just stop when she got the Prince."
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In the give me a break already catagory . . . Current mood: irritated
Woman faces fines for wreath peace sign .. --> -->By ROBERT WELLER, Associated Press Writer Sun Nov 26, 11:13 PM ET
DENVER - A homeowners association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti- Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.
Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs. He said some residents have also believed it was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.
"Somebody could put up signs that say drop bombs on Iraq. If you let one go up you have to let them all go up," he said in a telephone interview Sunday.
Lisa Jensen said she wasn't thinking of the war when she hung the wreath. She said, "Peace is way bigger than not being at war. This is a spiritual thing."
Jensen, a past association president, calculates the fines will cost her about $1,000, and doubts they will be able to make her pay. But she said she's not going to take it down until after Christmas.
"Now that it has come to this I feel I can't get bullied," she said. "What if they don't like my Santa Claus."
The association in this 200-home subdivision 270 miles southwest of Denver has sent a letter to her saying that residents were offended by the sign and the board "will not allow signs, flags etc. that can be considered divisive."
The subdivision's rules say no signs, billboards or advertising are permitted without the consent of the architectural control committee.
Kearns ordered the committee to require Jensen to remove the wreath, but members refused after concluding that it was merely a seasonal symbol that didn't say anything. Kearns fired all five committee members.
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What ever happened to the whole PEACE ON EARTH GOODWILL TOWARDS MEN thing? So what would happen if 3 or 4 people complain about someone's Nativity scene? What if I put a menorah in my window? (freedom of religion means ALL religions right?) And what if I DON'T decorate, can they complain about that as well and force me to?
This is not a protest, or more to the point it wasn't a protest until they decided to strong arm her and the committee members into agreeing with the viewpoint of a few people, fascism anyone? NOW it is a protest, and I say more power to her.
Woman faces fines for wreath peace sign .. --> -->By ROBERT WELLER, Associated Press Writer Sun Nov 26, 11:13 PM ET
DENVER - A homeowners association in southwestern Colorado has threatened to fine a resident $25 a day until she removes a Christmas wreath with a peace sign that some say is an anti- Iraq war protest or a symbol of Satan.
Some residents who have complained have children serving in Iraq, said Bob Kearns, president of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs. He said some residents have also believed it was a symbol of Satan. Three or four residents complained, he said.
"Somebody could put up signs that say drop bombs on Iraq. If you let one go up you have to let them all go up," he said in a telephone interview Sunday.
Lisa Jensen said she wasn't thinking of the war when she hung the wreath. She said, "Peace is way bigger than not being at war. This is a spiritual thing."
Jensen, a past association president, calculates the fines will cost her about $1,000, and doubts they will be able to make her pay. But she said she's not going to take it down until after Christmas.
"Now that it has come to this I feel I can't get bullied," she said. "What if they don't like my Santa Claus."
The association in this 200-home subdivision 270 miles southwest of Denver has sent a letter to her saying that residents were offended by the sign and the board "will not allow signs, flags etc. that can be considered divisive."
The subdivision's rules say no signs, billboards or advertising are permitted without the consent of the architectural control committee.
Kearns ordered the committee to require Jensen to remove the wreath, but members refused after concluding that it was merely a seasonal symbol that didn't say anything. Kearns fired all five committee members.
*****************************
What ever happened to the whole PEACE ON EARTH GOODWILL TOWARDS MEN thing? So what would happen if 3 or 4 people complain about someone's Nativity scene? What if I put a menorah in my window? (freedom of religion means ALL religions right?) And what if I DON'T decorate, can they complain about that as well and force me to?
This is not a protest, or more to the point it wasn't a protest until they decided to strong arm her and the committee members into agreeing with the viewpoint of a few people, fascism anyone? NOW it is a protest, and I say more power to her.
Monday, November 27, 2006
11-27-06
Man what a whiner Current mood: uncomfortable
Yesterday we drove out to Kuna to see CJ's mom and nieces and nephew for a late thanksgiving meal. We had to leave around 4pm since I was falling asleep and did not feel well and CJ needed to drive by his dad's for a few minutes. By the time we left it was pouring down rain hard and cold and driving was hell. The to add insult to injury or more to the point injury to insult, I slipped getting in the car and wrenched my knees so they are hurting so bad I can barely walk a block.
We didn't make it to Industria since I was sick and CJ was tired as hell.
The antibiotics are clearing up my ear but man do they make me sick to my stomach, I have to take them with food and usually I feel sick for a few hours after I do. What sucks is I have at least another week of being on them. My ears are still ringing but no more shooting pains so I can deal with that.
I slept most of the night and then most of today, it must be SAD since I usually can't sleep if the TV is on and I slept through a bunch of them. CJ isn't feeling well either, one of his ears is bugging him (I hope the heating pad and ear drops help that) and he just generally feels run down and sore. I am hoping it is just winter ick.
We bought fried chicken for lunch and I think it set my tummy off since I have been hurting ever since, we also bought the fixings for tacos but the last thing I want to do is cook. My kitchen needs a through cleaning and I am at the end of my rope where the cats are concerned, princess will only use the box to pee and only if I keep it totally clean, so I have to put papers down on the floor and yet she seems to always catch just the edge of the papers. She also has hairballs really bad, I am trying to shave her but it is taking forever, her fur is soooooo thick it is sickening, literally, all that fur is making her sick. I don't know what to do, I can't catch her not going in the box so I really can't punish her, I can't make her do it no matter how much I clean out the box and put fresh litter in it. She is making me wish I only had one cat but I can't bring myself to get rid of her but there are sure times it is tempting.
Then there is nepo who thinks he is a monkey and tries to eat his food by picking it up with his paw and putting it in his mouth, or at least trying to, what really happens is it ends up all over the floor. The kitchen and the cats is my job and I just don't seem to be able to keep up with the mess they make much less my own messes, it is really starting to get me down.
Sorry to sound so whiney I just don't feel good and it tends to come out in my writing, I am sure everything else will be better soon. I made new backgrounds on CJ and my profiles today so at least I did something other than sleep all day. Sad thing is I think I am going back to bed now.
Yesterday we drove out to Kuna to see CJ's mom and nieces and nephew for a late thanksgiving meal. We had to leave around 4pm since I was falling asleep and did not feel well and CJ needed to drive by his dad's for a few minutes. By the time we left it was pouring down rain hard and cold and driving was hell. The to add insult to injury or more to the point injury to insult, I slipped getting in the car and wrenched my knees so they are hurting so bad I can barely walk a block.
We didn't make it to Industria since I was sick and CJ was tired as hell.
The antibiotics are clearing up my ear but man do they make me sick to my stomach, I have to take them with food and usually I feel sick for a few hours after I do. What sucks is I have at least another week of being on them. My ears are still ringing but no more shooting pains so I can deal with that.
I slept most of the night and then most of today, it must be SAD since I usually can't sleep if the TV is on and I slept through a bunch of them. CJ isn't feeling well either, one of his ears is bugging him (I hope the heating pad and ear drops help that) and he just generally feels run down and sore. I am hoping it is just winter ick.
We bought fried chicken for lunch and I think it set my tummy off since I have been hurting ever since, we also bought the fixings for tacos but the last thing I want to do is cook. My kitchen needs a through cleaning and I am at the end of my rope where the cats are concerned, princess will only use the box to pee and only if I keep it totally clean, so I have to put papers down on the floor and yet she seems to always catch just the edge of the papers. She also has hairballs really bad, I am trying to shave her but it is taking forever, her fur is soooooo thick it is sickening, literally, all that fur is making her sick. I don't know what to do, I can't catch her not going in the box so I really can't punish her, I can't make her do it no matter how much I clean out the box and put fresh litter in it. She is making me wish I only had one cat but I can't bring myself to get rid of her but there are sure times it is tempting.
Then there is nepo who thinks he is a monkey and tries to eat his food by picking it up with his paw and putting it in his mouth, or at least trying to, what really happens is it ends up all over the floor. The kitchen and the cats is my job and I just don't seem to be able to keep up with the mess they make much less my own messes, it is really starting to get me down.
Sorry to sound so whiney I just don't feel good and it tends to come out in my writing, I am sure everything else will be better soon. I made new backgrounds on CJ and my profiles today so at least I did something other than sleep all day. Sad thing is I think I am going back to bed now.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
11-26-06
My christmas tree Current mood: cheerful
We bought a nice little inexpensive fiber optic 3 ft christmas tree yesterday and I decorated it with my crystal ornaments. I actually like the way it looks and the lighting effect is not too cheesy.
and a shot of it in the dark
I am just determined to enjoy the holiday season and relax this year, I have not decorated in years and this year I have a tiny little tree for CJ's collection of Jimmie Johnson ornements in the computer room, stockings on the wall in my room and this 3ft tree in the front room. Now I want to get those cinnamon pine cones, I love the smell of them.
I really think it comes down to DECIDING you will let yourself enjoy the holidays, deciding not to get bogged down in what you don't have and to just relax.
We bought a nice little inexpensive fiber optic 3 ft christmas tree yesterday and I decorated it with my crystal ornaments. I actually like the way it looks and the lighting effect is not too cheesy.
and a shot of it in the dark
I am just determined to enjoy the holiday season and relax this year, I have not decorated in years and this year I have a tiny little tree for CJ's collection of Jimmie Johnson ornements in the computer room, stockings on the wall in my room and this 3ft tree in the front room. Now I want to get those cinnamon pine cones, I love the smell of them.
I really think it comes down to DECIDING you will let yourself enjoy the holidays, deciding not to get bogged down in what you don't have and to just relax.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
nov 25th
recap
Thanksgiving was a lot of fun this year. I went over to Grandma's around 1pm and helped her get dinner ready, I wish I was able to do more then I did but it is hard for me to stand in front of the stove for very long, just making two batches of stuffing was hard. I also made Sweet potatoes at grandma's house and a few other things.
CJ called around 2:30 to see if I was coming to get him since he had been sleeping earlier so I drove over and picked him up. My brother brought his new girlfriend and her son and got to meet CJ for the first time. Tammy is pretty cool and I am glad my brother has found someone decent, and her son seems really nice as well.
We had a nice if someone hectic dinner (we forgot to make mash potatoes til the last minute, thankfully we had the pressure cooker) and then CJ and I headed home. He rested and played his video games while I put sweet potatoes together and made a dish of potatoes Augratin (thanks betty crocker)
At 6 we went over to Bella's house and had another dinner with her and some of our friends for a misfits thanksgiving party. Sadly we had to leave a bit early since CJ needed a bit more sleep before work but all in all the day was great.
As I said Friday we didn't do anything until I had to go to the ER for my ear but this morning CJ took me to breakfast and we went shopping. We bought a 3 ft fiber optic Christmas tree and CJ set it up for me and I decorated it with my crystal baubles and thin blue tinsel garland, I think it looks great. We also got some Christmas gifts for the kids and CJ found a deal on DVDs at Walmart for $3.88 each so we came back here and watched Goldmember.
Tomorrow we go to his mom's house for a Late thanksgiving dinner and hopefully to industria. All together it has been a pretty good holiday weekend so far.
Currently watching :
Austin Powers In Goldmember (Infinifilm Full Screen Edition)
Release date: By 03 December, 2002
otitis externa
Well my ear got so bad I decided to go to the ER around midnight, my ear was leaking really badly, it hurt and felt like I was having a needle stuck in it and my balance was all off. I called my Grandma to tell her the symptoms and she agreed that I should go. Cheryl called to check up on me and make some suggestions which I thought was really sweet of her.
When I got there they got me in a saw me pretty quickly considering it is Friday night and all, I always go to St. Luke's even though St. Al's is closer since my Dr is at St. Luke's and they have all my records.
They took a look at my ear, did all my vitals and what not and said it was a good thing I had come in. They told me I have OTITIS EXTERNA, an outer ear infection of the canal between the ear drum and the outside of the ear which can cause permanent hearing loss. And yes it is probably from itching it so I am tossing all my cotton swabs. If the itching keeps up I will ask my Dr for some topical stuff to stop it.
They gave me an anti-inflammatory shot since I had driven myself and they did not want me too drugged up to drive. They also prescribed Augmentin (an antibiotic) ear drops and something mild for pain. Hopefully I will be better in a week or less.
I hate knowing I did this too myself by itching my ear though it ends up not by adding alcohol to my ear, part of the remedy is to put a few drops in there.
Anyway I feel a lot better and I am going to try to read for a while.
Thanksgiving was a lot of fun this year. I went over to Grandma's around 1pm and helped her get dinner ready, I wish I was able to do more then I did but it is hard for me to stand in front of the stove for very long, just making two batches of stuffing was hard. I also made Sweet potatoes at grandma's house and a few other things.
CJ called around 2:30 to see if I was coming to get him since he had been sleeping earlier so I drove over and picked him up. My brother brought his new girlfriend and her son and got to meet CJ for the first time. Tammy is pretty cool and I am glad my brother has found someone decent, and her son seems really nice as well.
We had a nice if someone hectic dinner (we forgot to make mash potatoes til the last minute, thankfully we had the pressure cooker) and then CJ and I headed home. He rested and played his video games while I put sweet potatoes together and made a dish of potatoes Augratin (thanks betty crocker)
At 6 we went over to Bella's house and had another dinner with her and some of our friends for a misfits thanksgiving party. Sadly we had to leave a bit early since CJ needed a bit more sleep before work but all in all the day was great.
As I said Friday we didn't do anything until I had to go to the ER for my ear but this morning CJ took me to breakfast and we went shopping. We bought a 3 ft fiber optic Christmas tree and CJ set it up for me and I decorated it with my crystal baubles and thin blue tinsel garland, I think it looks great. We also got some Christmas gifts for the kids and CJ found a deal on DVDs at Walmart for $3.88 each so we came back here and watched Goldmember.
Tomorrow we go to his mom's house for a Late thanksgiving dinner and hopefully to industria. All together it has been a pretty good holiday weekend so far.
Currently watching :
Austin Powers In Goldmember (Infinifilm Full Screen Edition)
Release date: By 03 December, 2002
**********************************
otitis externa
Well my ear got so bad I decided to go to the ER around midnight, my ear was leaking really badly, it hurt and felt like I was having a needle stuck in it and my balance was all off. I called my Grandma to tell her the symptoms and she agreed that I should go. Cheryl called to check up on me and make some suggestions which I thought was really sweet of her.
When I got there they got me in a saw me pretty quickly considering it is Friday night and all, I always go to St. Luke's even though St. Al's is closer since my Dr is at St. Luke's and they have all my records.
They took a look at my ear, did all my vitals and what not and said it was a good thing I had come in. They told me I have OTITIS EXTERNA, an outer ear infection of the canal between the ear drum and the outside of the ear which can cause permanent hearing loss. And yes it is probably from itching it so I am tossing all my cotton swabs. If the itching keeps up I will ask my Dr for some topical stuff to stop it.
They gave me an anti-inflammatory shot since I had driven myself and they did not want me too drugged up to drive. They also prescribed Augmentin (an antibiotic) ear drops and something mild for pain. Hopefully I will be better in a week or less.
I hate knowing I did this too myself by itching my ear though it ends up not by adding alcohol to my ear, part of the remedy is to put a few drops in there.
Anyway I feel a lot better and I am going to try to read for a while.
Friday, November 24, 2006
nov 24 Black friday
Black Friday or People are crazy
So 11:30 pm comes, it is barely 40* out and I go to drive CJ to work and what do I see outside of Best Buy?
TONS OF PEOPLE
there was a line all the way AROUND the side of the building as far back as I could see, hell it probably went to the back, people in tents and sleeping bags and just coats. All of them nuts
I am NOT going shopping at all tomorrow if I can help it.
So 11:30 pm comes, it is barely 40* out and I go to drive CJ to work and what do I see outside of Best Buy?
TONS OF PEOPLE
there was a line all the way AROUND the side of the building as far back as I could see, hell it probably went to the back, people in tents and sleeping bags and just coats. All of them nuts
I am NOT going shopping at all tomorrow if I can help it.
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Are you a scrooge? How many Christmas Movies have you seen?
Current mood: grateful
Here is a pretty good sized list of Christmas movies old and new65 movies all and allmark the ones you have seenIf you have seen less then your age you are a Scrooge
( ) ELF
( ) The Polar Express
( 1) The Bishop's Wife (Cary Grant)
( 2) The Preacher's Wife (Denzel Washington)
( 3) Edward Scissorhands
( 4) Holiday Inn (Bing Crosby)
( 5) Home Alone
( ) Home Alone 2
( 6) A Christmas Carol (any of them)
( 7) A Muppet Christmas Carol
( 8) Scrooged
( 9) Gremlins( 10) The Ref
( ) Love Actually
( 11) Bad Santa
( 12) Planes, Trains and Automobiles
( 13) White Christmas
( 14) Die Hard
( 15) Nightmare Before Christmas
( 16) Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
( 17) Miracle on 34th Street (1994 remake)
( ) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
( 18) It's a Wonderful Life
( ) A Christmas Story
( ) All I Want for Christmas (1991)
( 17) Babes in Toyland
( ) Bells of St. Mary's
( 18) A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)
( ) Christmas Eve
( ) The Christmas Star
( 19) Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)
( 20) The Grinch (live action)
( 21) Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)
( 22) Frosty The Snowman
( 23) Heidi
( ) Holiday Affair
( 24) Home For Christmas
( ) It Happened One Christmas (TV)
( ) The Life & Adventures of Santa Claus, (1985) (TV)
( 25) The Man in the Santa Claus Suit (1978) (TV)
( 26) Meet John Doe (1941)
( 27) Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)
( ) Miracle of the Bells, The (1948)
( 28) The NutCracker
( 29) Prancer
( 30) Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964) (TV)
( 31) Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
( 32) Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town (1970) (TV)
( 33) The Santa Clause
( 34) The Santa Clause2
( ) The Santa Clause3
( 35) Trading Places
( 36) Very Brady Christmas, A (1988) (TV)
( 37) White Christmas (1954)
( 38) Babes in Toyland
( ) Christmas With the Kranks
( ) Surviving Christmas
( 39) Jingle All The Way
( 40) Call Me Klaus (Whoopi Goldberg)
( 41) The Little Drummer Boy (TV)
( ) Christmas in Connecticut
( 42) Christmas Eve on Sesame Street
( ) The Christmas Box
( 43) I'll be home for Christmas (1998)
I got 43 and I am 37 (for a few more weeks) so I guess I am not a scrooge
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My black Wreath
Current mood: cheerful
I went shopping first thing in the morning after halloween and bought a couple of these beautiful black feather wreaths and decided to make them into christmas wreaths. I have always wanted a black wreath and this came out great. It looks really good on my newly painted door.
nov 24th
earache
Oh man my ear is killing me and I fear it is my fault. I know most of it is anyway, it itched for days and I finally gave in and scratched the hell out of it, I think I bruised the area around it. It is so sensitive and sore.
Then it felt like it was full of water, I could not get it to dry up so I put a few drops of rubbing alcohol in it hoping that would help but it seems to have made it much worse.
My ear is always wet, much more that the little bit of alcohol I put in could account for even though barely a week ago the Dr looked at it and said she saw no swelling or liquid behind the ear drum. My ear is humming and ringing and hurts like a SOB, my balance is screwed up and now I have to wait til Monday to see a dr anyway. If my balance gets much worse I guess I will have to go to the ER or something cause I am getting to the point where I am scared to drive and can't even lay down without feeling like I am going to fall off the bed.
My other ear is just fine.
I am going to try to lay back down again since the S.A.D. has hit me hard and I have been sleeping all day and can barely keep my eyes open as I type this. I hope it all passes soon.
Currently reading : Single White Vampire
By Lynsay Sands
Release date: By September, 2003
Oh man my ear is killing me and I fear it is my fault. I know most of it is anyway, it itched for days and I finally gave in and scratched the hell out of it, I think I bruised the area around it. It is so sensitive and sore.
Then it felt like it was full of water, I could not get it to dry up so I put a few drops of rubbing alcohol in it hoping that would help but it seems to have made it much worse.
My ear is always wet, much more that the little bit of alcohol I put in could account for even though barely a week ago the Dr looked at it and said she saw no swelling or liquid behind the ear drum. My ear is humming and ringing and hurts like a SOB, my balance is screwed up and now I have to wait til Monday to see a dr anyway. If my balance gets much worse I guess I will have to go to the ER or something cause I am getting to the point where I am scared to drive and can't even lay down without feeling like I am going to fall off the bed.
My other ear is just fine.
I am going to try to lay back down again since the S.A.D. has hit me hard and I have been sleeping all day and can barely keep my eyes open as I type this. I hope it all passes soon.
Currently reading : Single White Vampire
By Lynsay Sands
Release date: By September, 2003
Thursday, November 23, 2006
nov 23 thanksgiving
Bored while cooking pie
Current mood: bored
1am
I went to WINCO around 9pm (the place was packed) to get a mince pie, stuffing and a couple goodies and it took me an hour to get out of there.
After taking CJ to work I put the mince pie in the oven and did a 500 question purity test while I waited (ends up I should have done a 400 puestion one since I burned the edges of the pie a bit...LOL)
My results:
Congratulations! Your Purity test score is 33% The current average is 76%
The higher the number, the more pure you are; in the same vein, the lower the score, the more of a sleaze-bag you are.
Well I always knew I was experienced (to be honest more than a few things on the list were things i had done only a few times but hey they count) but some of the stuff on the list sort of grossed me out, definately stuff I never intend to do.
Anyway I am heading to bed, I have been sleeping a lot and I have a lot I have to do tomorrow, lunch at grandma's and dinner at Bella's, I was going to try to make pie but after my limited success just heating one I dont think I will.
I went to WINCO around 9pm (the place was packed) to get a mince pie, stuffing and a couple goodies and it took me an hour to get out of there.
After taking CJ to work I put the mince pie in the oven and did a 500 question purity test while I waited (ends up I should have done a 400 puestion one since I burned the edges of the pie a bit...LOL)
My results:
Congratulations! Your Purity test score is 33% The current average is 76%
The higher the number, the more pure you are; in the same vein, the lower the score, the more of a sleaze-bag you are.
Well I always knew I was experienced (to be honest more than a few things on the list were things i had done only a few times but hey they count) but some of the stuff on the list sort of grossed me out, definately stuff I never intend to do.
Anyway I am heading to bed, I have been sleeping a lot and I have a lot I have to do tomorrow, lunch at grandma's and dinner at Bella's, I was going to try to make pie but after my limited success just heating one I dont think I will.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Nov 22nd
Close call
Last night when I took CJ to work I decided to go to Walmart and do a little shopping since it was not so crowded then. When I headed home it was pouring rain and I did a stupid thing, I parked illegally thinking I would be able to move my car as soon as someone moved theirs.
I was laying in bed reading, oblivious to the world when I suddenly had to go to the bathroom and became aware of the sound of a truck outside. I thought oh someone is moving I should go move my car if I can and I hope I can cause I can't afford to get towed.
I put on just a dress, no shoes and no coat and headed outside.
That's when I saw the tow truck sitting on the lane outside of the parking lot so I ran… Yes ran… to my car. Trust me being this big and running is bad enough but having arthritis and being barefoot in the rain is much worse. Just as I got to my car the guy was looking at it with his flashlight so I told him I would move it and he told me that I was lucky he had not backed his truck up or called the cops to come ticket me for parking beside a handicap zone (I have a handicap sticker but they don't care)
I got my van out and parked about a block away and then had to walk barefoot and coatless in the drizzle back to my place.
I couldn't sleep because I was so wired at first then so sore since I had pulled a muscle in my calf. So it was not a big surprise I over slept and was 25 minutes late to get CJ.
Today we have already done a ton of laundry, made pumpkinseed brittle and went to breakfast. I have slept most of the afternoon and wont be surprised if I can't sleep again tonight, it is a vicious cycle. Thankfully Lunesta helps.
Last night when I took CJ to work I decided to go to Walmart and do a little shopping since it was not so crowded then. When I headed home it was pouring rain and I did a stupid thing, I parked illegally thinking I would be able to move my car as soon as someone moved theirs.
I was laying in bed reading, oblivious to the world when I suddenly had to go to the bathroom and became aware of the sound of a truck outside. I thought oh someone is moving I should go move my car if I can and I hope I can cause I can't afford to get towed.
I put on just a dress, no shoes and no coat and headed outside.
That's when I saw the tow truck sitting on the lane outside of the parking lot so I ran… Yes ran… to my car. Trust me being this big and running is bad enough but having arthritis and being barefoot in the rain is much worse. Just as I got to my car the guy was looking at it with his flashlight so I told him I would move it and he told me that I was lucky he had not backed his truck up or called the cops to come ticket me for parking beside a handicap zone (I have a handicap sticker but they don't care)
I got my van out and parked about a block away and then had to walk barefoot and coatless in the drizzle back to my place.
I couldn't sleep because I was so wired at first then so sore since I had pulled a muscle in my calf. So it was not a big surprise I over slept and was 25 minutes late to get CJ.
Today we have already done a ton of laundry, made pumpkinseed brittle and went to breakfast. I have slept most of the afternoon and wont be surprised if I can't sleep again tonight, it is a vicious cycle. Thankfully Lunesta helps.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
just another weekend blog
Current mood: sick
CJ had Wed and Thur off and we got to spend some time together until his brother called and asked him to come to Nampa to help them move and that even though they had known for weeks they had next to nothing packed and needed to get out right away. They told him they would bring him home in the morning. So I ended up not getting to spend the night with CJ like I had hoped and then had to go to Nampa to get him at 7AM.
Friday we just vegged out and slept most of the day, I think I am getting SAD again, I am so tired all the time so I am trying to get a little sunlight during the day but I think I am going to have to get a full spectrum light box.
We watched Jeff Dunham, Arguing With Myself (a hilarious ventriloquist) and were both planning to go to the Goth Meet-up but about half an hour before we would have gone CJ fell back asleep so I went on my own. Thankfully Kiki, Brandy, Dondra, Dan, Dave, Matt and Tara were there so I had people to hang out with. Brandy bought me a pop and split her tatertots with me, we started at the Bouquet but ended up over at Mulligan's, personally I think we should just have it at Mulligan's from now on. I don't know if I have a stomach bug or if there was something wrong with the tots or something but I started to feel sick really quickly and and had to head home to relax with CJ before I took him to work.
As usual for the weekends this place was full of cars and when I got back from getting CJ to work at midnight I had to park around the block and walk to the house, this is going to be so annoying if we have a snowy winter.
This morning CJ took me to breakfast at IHOP, I had a coupon (by 1 get 1) and so he had t-bone and eggs and I had this great Colorado omelet full of steak, sausage and ham as well as onions and peppers.
Only problem is when we had been home a few hours I got sick and lost my breakfast. I don't know if the eggs were off or again if I have a tummy bug but CJ thinks it was the Onions since he is allergic to them and hates them. I think it might be a bug cause of being so sick to my stomach last night.
I use to be bulimic for a while in High School and now I get sick really easily if anything upsets my stomach.
CJ gets paid today (hopefully his check will come we have to go check later) and he is going to give me some money for loaning him some last month so I am going to get the stuff I need for my costume. I just need to go sew the dress at grandma's house soon. CJ has the 29th and 30th scheduled off and I am so glad since Sunday is Industria and Monday is the last day of our Zombie game and it will be nice for him to be able to play knowing he can go home and sleep afterward instead of rushing to work.
Current mood: sick
CJ had Wed and Thur off and we got to spend some time together until his brother called and asked him to come to Nampa to help them move and that even though they had known for weeks they had next to nothing packed and needed to get out right away. They told him they would bring him home in the morning. So I ended up not getting to spend the night with CJ like I had hoped and then had to go to Nampa to get him at 7AM.
Friday we just vegged out and slept most of the day, I think I am getting SAD again, I am so tired all the time so I am trying to get a little sunlight during the day but I think I am going to have to get a full spectrum light box.
We watched Jeff Dunham, Arguing With Myself (a hilarious ventriloquist) and were both planning to go to the Goth Meet-up but about half an hour before we would have gone CJ fell back asleep so I went on my own. Thankfully Kiki, Brandy, Dondra, Dan, Dave, Matt and Tara were there so I had people to hang out with. Brandy bought me a pop and split her tatertots with me, we started at the Bouquet but ended up over at Mulligan's, personally I think we should just have it at Mulligan's from now on. I don't know if I have a stomach bug or if there was something wrong with the tots or something but I started to feel sick really quickly and and had to head home to relax with CJ before I took him to work.
As usual for the weekends this place was full of cars and when I got back from getting CJ to work at midnight I had to park around the block and walk to the house, this is going to be so annoying if we have a snowy winter.
This morning CJ took me to breakfast at IHOP, I had a coupon (by 1 get 1) and so he had t-bone and eggs and I had this great Colorado omelet full of steak, sausage and ham as well as onions and peppers.
Only problem is when we had been home a few hours I got sick and lost my breakfast. I don't know if the eggs were off or again if I have a tummy bug but CJ thinks it was the Onions since he is allergic to them and hates them. I think it might be a bug cause of being so sick to my stomach last night.
I use to be bulimic for a while in High School and now I get sick really easily if anything upsets my stomach.
CJ gets paid today (hopefully his check will come we have to go check later) and he is going to give me some money for loaning him some last month so I am going to get the stuff I need for my costume. I just need to go sew the dress at grandma's house soon. CJ has the 29th and 30th scheduled off and I am so glad since Sunday is Industria and Monday is the last day of our Zombie game and it will be nice for him to be able to play knowing he can go home and sleep afterward instead of rushing to work.
Monday, November 20, 2006
nov 20th shopping
Lots of holiday shopping and hanging out
Current mood: sleepy
CJ had Saturday and Today off which is surprising since he usually has to work those days. Saturday we did a little shopping and hung out around the house until his cousin called and asked us to drive out to Caldwell to visit with them. CJ decided to buy them whopper Jr meals and himself a whopper meal at BK and they have a special where you can get a kids meal for $.99 when you get a meal so I got two of them, I figure two little hamburgers and mini fries are no more than you would find in a big meal. I am such a goof I was totally playing with the Happy Feet Penguins I got in the meals.
CJ and I goofed off the whole way there, being totally silly. I would point out the Christmas lights and he would humbug me (ooooh that sounds dirty doesn't it?) CJ gets really silly when he has not slept for a long time. We had to come home pretty early because by that time poor CJ had been awake for about 24 hours.
One of the things we got yesterday was refills for my printer cartridges at Walgreens where it only cost us $22 to get both of them filled. I have been having a blast having my printer back, I have printed up tons of coloring pages for CJ's kids and pictures of Jesse McCartney for his Daughter, I am going to get a little photo album and put it together for her along with the CD we got her. 7 year olds love those cute little boys, to me he looks about 11 but I figure I liked Leif Garrett when I was that age so I can't say much of anything about it.
Sunday has been a pretty good day for CJ since his favorite drive in NASCAR won the Nextel cup (the championship) at the same time his favorite football team (49ers) won a game against Seattle.
We went to breakfast at IHOP this morning and shared an omelet and read the newspaper, wouldn't you know that pretty much everything we had bought at Walgreens the day before was on a super sale now.
We were suppose to do laundry today but I just couldn't sleep last night so I ended up sleeping til 1:30 when CJ's sporting events came on and just figured we would try to do it Tuesday when CJ gets off work in the morning.
We are going to Industria for a while tonight and hopefully I can stay awake long enough to enjoy it. I think I am going to go take a 2 hour nap.
Current mood: sleepy
CJ had Saturday and Today off which is surprising since he usually has to work those days. Saturday we did a little shopping and hung out around the house until his cousin called and asked us to drive out to Caldwell to visit with them. CJ decided to buy them whopper Jr meals and himself a whopper meal at BK and they have a special where you can get a kids meal for $.99 when you get a meal so I got two of them, I figure two little hamburgers and mini fries are no more than you would find in a big meal. I am such a goof I was totally playing with the Happy Feet Penguins I got in the meals.
CJ and I goofed off the whole way there, being totally silly. I would point out the Christmas lights and he would humbug me (ooooh that sounds dirty doesn't it?) CJ gets really silly when he has not slept for a long time. We had to come home pretty early because by that time poor CJ had been awake for about 24 hours.
One of the things we got yesterday was refills for my printer cartridges at Walgreens where it only cost us $22 to get both of them filled. I have been having a blast having my printer back, I have printed up tons of coloring pages for CJ's kids and pictures of Jesse McCartney for his Daughter, I am going to get a little photo album and put it together for her along with the CD we got her. 7 year olds love those cute little boys, to me he looks about 11 but I figure I liked Leif Garrett when I was that age so I can't say much of anything about it.
Sunday has been a pretty good day for CJ since his favorite drive in NASCAR won the Nextel cup (the championship) at the same time his favorite football team (49ers) won a game against Seattle.
We went to breakfast at IHOP this morning and shared an omelet and read the newspaper, wouldn't you know that pretty much everything we had bought at Walgreens the day before was on a super sale now.
We were suppose to do laundry today but I just couldn't sleep last night so I ended up sleeping til 1:30 when CJ's sporting events came on and just figured we would try to do it Tuesday when CJ gets off work in the morning.
We are going to Industria for a while tonight and hopefully I can stay awake long enough to enjoy it. I think I am going to go take a 2 hour nap.
I am not responsible for numbering these
68 questions too many Current mood: relaxed
1. Story behind your myspace song: Winterborn by The Cruxshadows cause my birthday is in December
2. What month were you born?Ummm December
3. Where do you live?Boise Idaho
D E S C R I B E Y O U R .
4. Wallet:Black, small and has a couple purple flowers on it and it is hooked to me keys
5. Dream car:Something that get amazing gas mileage, like a hybrid, that has a bit of room and that I can fit in comfortably
6. Toothbrush: I need a new one, the head broke on my electric one so I have to hold it in place when I use it
7. Jewelry worn daily: A silver filigree ankh on a black cord .
9. Eyes: very dark brown with a hint of chestnut red tone
10. Favorite hair color? Dark dark true red a very hard color to keep
11. Love life: Pretty damn good
12. Cologne/Perfume: Jasmine mixed with citrus and vanilla
13. CD in stereo: I don't have a car stereo with CD player
14. Piercings: two holes in each ear, my nose piercing have closed WHAT ARE:
15: What are you wearing? Nothing, I am getting ready to get dressed to go out in an hour and don't see the point in wearing anything until then
16. Wanting: To get CJ moved in with me all official and to have more money
18. The last thing you ate? A piece of banana cream pie (CJ got a craving after Industria)
19. Something you are afraid of: Screwing up my relationship
20. Do you like candles? Yep, I have lots of them and I really love any spice ones, I stock up every year on Pumpkin Spice candle packs at WalMart because it is a seasonal thing
21. Do you like the taste of blood? Not really
22. Do you believe in love? yeppers
23. Do you believe in soul mate? I believe so
24. Do you sleep naked? Yes, I can't stand to sleep in anything constricting
25. Do you like seafood? Ummm Sushi
26. Do you remember your dreams?: Once in a long long while I remember them especially if they have to do with people I know
27. Do you consider yourself a freak? Yes, I would not want to be totally normal if I could help it… mind you if I could be totally physically average, size, height, health for my age I would go for it.
29. Do you like tattoos? I have 7 of them and I like them on other people when they are done well
30. Do you believe in miracles? I believe most things are possible
31. Do you burn easily in the sun?: Depends on what medicine I am on at the time some of what I take make me very light sensitive
32. Do you speak another language other than English? Nope
33. What's something you wish you could understand better? Myself and other people
34. Are you shy around your crush? Not at all, but then I am dating him
38. Got any plans for the weekend? weekend is almost over, and I hope we are going to industria tonight
39. Who do you miss? My friend Keith in Seattle
40. Last incoming call on your cell phone? I don't have a cell phone, on my home phone they last call was my mom
41. What's your favorite restaurant? I like Chef's Hut and café ole
42. Last time you swam in a pool? A few months ago
43. Last time you smoked? Last week, I smoke about one or two little cigars a week when we go out to control my craving for a drink
44. How many kids do you want? I love kids I just don't want to have any of my own
45. What type of music do you dislike most? Gangster Rap I don't mind all rap I just hate hearing about bitches and hos and drive by shootings
46. What was the last thing you bought? We went to the store shopping for holiday gifts
47. Does someone have a crush on you? Yeah
48. What shoes are you wearing right now? barefoot
49. Do you have a garden? No but I have a bunch of house plants
50. Where did Waldo go? Who cares, I want to know where the money is
51. Best movie you've seen in the past month? Pirates of the Caribbean 2
52. Who were the last people you went out to eat with? CJ… before that my Grandma
53. You a good cook? I try
54. Do you know how to pump your own gas? of course!
55. Do the Chinese really use cats in their food? Who knows, I don't think any I have ever eaten was cat, not a lot of meat on a cat considering how easy it is to get pre butchered pork and chicken
56. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school? no
57. Last thing you drank? Malibu and coke
58. Do you do drugs? I take prescription drugs but not to get high
59. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My grandfather
60. Where were you for Valentine's Day? Wow I have no idea, I am sure I was alone… I use my blog to keep track of stuff like that and a computer screw up erased all my blogger blogs from jan 06 to june 06 when I started just using myspace and I can't access my old blogs on myspace
61. Last time you laughed? I laugh all the time it is in my nature but the hardest I have laughed in a while was last night when CJ was being silly on our drive
62. What's your favorite animal? Cat I have two
63. What was the name of your first pet? Bikia
64. Who is the second to last person to call you? My Mom
65. Is there anything going on this week? This next week is thanksgiving, I am going to my grandma's and CJ and I are going to Bella's, Tuesday we have to do laundry and I am going to try to sew some Christmas stockings so I have to go get the material. Other then that I am hoping to get to see my dad this week for an early birthday dinner on Sunday but who knows
66. How are you feeling right now? Full, I had one slice of banana cream pie and it filled me up I am just sitting here watching CJ play legos star wars (it is surprisingly fun to watch) and relaxing
67. What do you think about most? Wanting to enjoy life
68. What do you think of the person that posted this before you? Erin is a great artist
1. Story behind your myspace song: Winterborn by The Cruxshadows cause my birthday is in December
2. What month were you born?Ummm December
3. Where do you live?Boise Idaho
D E S C R I B E Y O U R .
4. Wallet:Black, small and has a couple purple flowers on it and it is hooked to me keys
5. Dream car:Something that get amazing gas mileage, like a hybrid, that has a bit of room and that I can fit in comfortably
6. Toothbrush: I need a new one, the head broke on my electric one so I have to hold it in place when I use it
7. Jewelry worn daily: A silver filigree ankh on a black cord .
9. Eyes: very dark brown with a hint of chestnut red tone
10. Favorite hair color? Dark dark true red a very hard color to keep
11. Love life: Pretty damn good
12. Cologne/Perfume: Jasmine mixed with citrus and vanilla
13. CD in stereo: I don't have a car stereo with CD player
14. Piercings: two holes in each ear, my nose piercing have closed WHAT ARE:
15: What are you wearing? Nothing, I am getting ready to get dressed to go out in an hour and don't see the point in wearing anything until then
16. Wanting: To get CJ moved in with me all official and to have more money
18. The last thing you ate? A piece of banana cream pie (CJ got a craving after Industria)
19. Something you are afraid of: Screwing up my relationship
20. Do you like candles? Yep, I have lots of them and I really love any spice ones, I stock up every year on Pumpkin Spice candle packs at WalMart because it is a seasonal thing
21. Do you like the taste of blood? Not really
22. Do you believe in love? yeppers
23. Do you believe in soul mate? I believe so
24. Do you sleep naked? Yes, I can't stand to sleep in anything constricting
25. Do you like seafood? Ummm Sushi
26. Do you remember your dreams?: Once in a long long while I remember them especially if they have to do with people I know
27. Do you consider yourself a freak? Yes, I would not want to be totally normal if I could help it… mind you if I could be totally physically average, size, height, health for my age I would go for it.
29. Do you like tattoos? I have 7 of them and I like them on other people when they are done well
30. Do you believe in miracles? I believe most things are possible
31. Do you burn easily in the sun?: Depends on what medicine I am on at the time some of what I take make me very light sensitive
32. Do you speak another language other than English? Nope
33. What's something you wish you could understand better? Myself and other people
34. Are you shy around your crush? Not at all, but then I am dating him
38. Got any plans for the weekend? weekend is almost over, and I hope we are going to industria tonight
39. Who do you miss? My friend Keith in Seattle
40. Last incoming call on your cell phone? I don't have a cell phone, on my home phone they last call was my mom
41. What's your favorite restaurant? I like Chef's Hut and café ole
42. Last time you swam in a pool? A few months ago
43. Last time you smoked? Last week, I smoke about one or two little cigars a week when we go out to control my craving for a drink
44. How many kids do you want? I love kids I just don't want to have any of my own
45. What type of music do you dislike most? Gangster Rap I don't mind all rap I just hate hearing about bitches and hos and drive by shootings
46. What was the last thing you bought? We went to the store shopping for holiday gifts
47. Does someone have a crush on you? Yeah
48. What shoes are you wearing right now? barefoot
49. Do you have a garden? No but I have a bunch of house plants
50. Where did Waldo go? Who cares, I want to know where the money is
51. Best movie you've seen in the past month? Pirates of the Caribbean 2
52. Who were the last people you went out to eat with? CJ… before that my Grandma
53. You a good cook? I try
54. Do you know how to pump your own gas? of course!
55. Do the Chinese really use cats in their food? Who knows, I don't think any I have ever eaten was cat, not a lot of meat on a cat considering how easy it is to get pre butchered pork and chicken
56. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school? no
57. Last thing you drank? Malibu and coke
58. Do you do drugs? I take prescription drugs but not to get high
59. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My grandfather
60. Where were you for Valentine's Day? Wow I have no idea, I am sure I was alone… I use my blog to keep track of stuff like that and a computer screw up erased all my blogger blogs from jan 06 to june 06 when I started just using myspace and I can't access my old blogs on myspace
61. Last time you laughed? I laugh all the time it is in my nature but the hardest I have laughed in a while was last night when CJ was being silly on our drive
62. What's your favorite animal? Cat I have two
63. What was the name of your first pet? Bikia
64. Who is the second to last person to call you? My Mom
65. Is there anything going on this week? This next week is thanksgiving, I am going to my grandma's and CJ and I are going to Bella's, Tuesday we have to do laundry and I am going to try to sew some Christmas stockings so I have to go get the material. Other then that I am hoping to get to see my dad this week for an early birthday dinner on Sunday but who knows
66. How are you feeling right now? Full, I had one slice of banana cream pie and it filled me up I am just sitting here watching CJ play legos star wars (it is surprisingly fun to watch) and relaxing
67. What do you think about most? Wanting to enjoy life
68. What do you think of the person that posted this before you? Erin is a great artist
Nov 20th
Sparks personality test
Current mood: happy
You are a Guru!
(Submissive Extroverted Abstract Feeler)
You are a GURU (SEAF)— kind, knowing, giving. Like Buddha of old, you can be a persuasive speaker, and you use your creative talents to further the objectives of your heart instead of your mind. But be careful that your friends don't take advantage of your relaxed nature.
Above all, you like going with the flow. That's cool. Oh yeah, you like to talk a lot. That's cool, too. Whatever.
43% are more Submissive than you. 21% are just as Submissive as you. 36% are more Dominant than you.
99% are more Introverted than you. 1% are just as Extroverted as you. 0% are more Extroverted than you.
33% are more Abstract than you. 22% are just as Abstract as you. 45% are more Concrete than you.
35% are more Thinking than you. 54% are more Feeling than you. 12% are just as Feeling as you.
(wow right on the money)
http://community.sparknotes.com/person/
Zoroastrian Pagan, Who knew? .... Not me
Current mood: contemplative
You scored as Zoroastrian Pagan.
The Zoroastrian Pagan is a rare breed who follows the teachings of Zoroaster, the religious reformer. He believed that there were no gods, and it was naive to put faith in them and give them names. What one should focus on is merely serving one side of the cosmic duality; work on good or light deeds, and the world would become more good or light. Pagans of this variety are rare, but often feel like they get more done without the hassle and clutter of pantheons and gods. They're smart, analytical, and occationally cynical.
Zoroastrian Pagan 95%
Roman Pantheonic Pagan 45%
Ecclectic Pagan 45%
Shamanic Pagan 45%
Greek Pantheonic Pagan 40%
Egyptian Pantheonic Pagan 35%
Eastern Pagan 35%
Celtic Pantheonic Pagan 20%
Kabbalistic Pagan 20%
Norse Pantheonic Pagan (Asatru) 0%
Sumerian, Babylonian, and Mesopotamian Pagans 0%
Catholic (Pagan?) 0%
What kind of Pagan are you?created with QuizFarm.com
WELL that is all true, very much so... but the name is not right to me. I of course read up on Zoroastrism and it does seem to have a god... MAZDA. I do agree with one part of what I read... Good thoughts, good words, good deeds
I guess I consider myself an AGNOSTIC PAGAN... which to me means I don't believe in any one thing but I know it is not Christianity in any form. I believe in the "Do unto others" concept, I believe that you get what you put out there, negative thoughts, actions and behaviors bring about negative responses. To me it is just as easy to treat people well as to treat them badly in fact it is easier for me.
I suffer physical/chemical depression but strangely enough depression is not part of my personal make up, when I am depressed it is a chemical thing, I do not on average see the world as all bad or negative. I like to think I see it as it is when I am stable, as both negative and positive and mostly in between as are people.
I would describe myself as a happy person, someone who enjoys life as much as they can. Yes I am in pain every day, I could be miserable and make everyone around me miserable, but when someone asks me how I am doing I usually "I am doing really good, there is the arthritis and all… but I am feeling fine." I don't let my pain or my illness define me anymore than I allow any one belief to define me.
Current mood: happy
You are a Guru!
(Submissive Extroverted Abstract Feeler)
You are a GURU (SEAF)— kind, knowing, giving. Like Buddha of old, you can be a persuasive speaker, and you use your creative talents to further the objectives of your heart instead of your mind. But be careful that your friends don't take advantage of your relaxed nature.
Above all, you like going with the flow. That's cool. Oh yeah, you like to talk a lot. That's cool, too. Whatever.
43% are more Submissive than you. 21% are just as Submissive as you. 36% are more Dominant than you.
99% are more Introverted than you. 1% are just as Extroverted as you. 0% are more Extroverted than you.
33% are more Abstract than you. 22% are just as Abstract as you. 45% are more Concrete than you.
35% are more Thinking than you. 54% are more Feeling than you. 12% are just as Feeling as you.
(wow right on the money)
http://community.sparknotes.com/person/
****************************************************
Zoroastrian Pagan, Who knew? .... Not me
Current mood: contemplative
You scored as Zoroastrian Pagan.
The Zoroastrian Pagan is a rare breed who follows the teachings of Zoroaster, the religious reformer. He believed that there were no gods, and it was naive to put faith in them and give them names. What one should focus on is merely serving one side of the cosmic duality; work on good or light deeds, and the world would become more good or light. Pagans of this variety are rare, but often feel like they get more done without the hassle and clutter of pantheons and gods. They're smart, analytical, and occationally cynical.
Zoroastrian Pagan 95%
Roman Pantheonic Pagan 45%
Ecclectic Pagan 45%
Shamanic Pagan 45%
Greek Pantheonic Pagan 40%
Egyptian Pantheonic Pagan 35%
Eastern Pagan 35%
Celtic Pantheonic Pagan 20%
Kabbalistic Pagan 20%
Norse Pantheonic Pagan (Asatru) 0%
Sumerian, Babylonian, and Mesopotamian Pagans 0%
Catholic (Pagan?) 0%
What kind of Pagan are you?created with QuizFarm.com
WELL that is all true, very much so... but the name is not right to me. I of course read up on Zoroastrism and it does seem to have a god... MAZDA. I do agree with one part of what I read... Good thoughts, good words, good deeds
I guess I consider myself an AGNOSTIC PAGAN... which to me means I don't believe in any one thing but I know it is not Christianity in any form. I believe in the "Do unto others" concept, I believe that you get what you put out there, negative thoughts, actions and behaviors bring about negative responses. To me it is just as easy to treat people well as to treat them badly in fact it is easier for me.
I suffer physical/chemical depression but strangely enough depression is not part of my personal make up, when I am depressed it is a chemical thing, I do not on average see the world as all bad or negative. I like to think I see it as it is when I am stable, as both negative and positive and mostly in between as are people.
I would describe myself as a happy person, someone who enjoys life as much as they can. Yes I am in pain every day, I could be miserable and make everyone around me miserable, but when someone asks me how I am doing I usually "I am doing really good, there is the arthritis and all… but I am feeling fine." I don't let my pain or my illness define me anymore than I allow any one belief to define me.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
nov 18
Wild and exciting.... not
Current mood: content
CJ got paid on Friday so we ran a few errands and mailed stuff to his kids and stopped by SOMETHING WICKED and found him 3 shirts on sale for a total of $10. They are the kind of cool bowling style shirts with interesting patterns on them and now I think we need to find a couple plain black t-shirts so CJ can wear them open over them which is my favorite way for people to wear that style.
CJ was a sweetie and took me to lunch, we made the mistake of going to Applebee's. Wow talk about expensive. They do have a few (very few) lunch specials but everything else is pretty costly so we got an appetizer platter with quesadillas, mozzarella sticks, spinach artichoke dip with chips and chipotle chicken bites, that was $10.
I also got a cup of French onion soups which I love ($3). I wish there was a Panera Bread Company here in Boise, they are a killer restaurant that specializes in fancy breads and soup and sandwiches and they make the best French onion soup in a bread bowl I have ever had. I also wish we had a CiCi's Pizza buffet, a Damon's sports pub and a Bennigan's, all restaurants I liked in the Midwest and south.
I shouldn't be thinking of food so much since I have got to start watching my weight a lot more, not being able to walk far and the winter munchies (not to mention my recently discovered addiction to Ice Cream after years of not being able to eat it) has caused me to gain a little. With my arthritis even a tiny bit causes more pain. I read where for ever pound you loose it is like taking 4 pounds of pressure off your knees so if I gain 10 pounds it is like I am walking around carrying a 40 pound sack of potatoes as far as my knees are concerned. It is going to be hard with the holidays here but I am going to try to eat healthy and still enjoy special occasions.
I have gotten a lot of my holiday cards done but I still want to get more finished, I may have to invest in another pad of watercolor paper after the first so I can make some more. Most of the ones I am making are super simple but I think they look nice.
Last night while CJ was at work I watched the cult classic movie FREAKS on TCM's Underground program which is hosted by Rob Zombie. I have heard about it for years but never seen it, it is an interesting movie that you really could not make these days since people would freak out (no pun intended) about showing real people as side show freaks, and it just would not work with CGI and stuff. It is the story of a circus and the side show freaks who work in it, concidering how old it is (1932) they are shown in a pretty good light while most of the "normal" people are rude and untrustworthy. One of the Midgets (yes midget not dwarf) in the circus is a very wealthy man who is engaged to a beautiful midget woman who he tosses aside for Cleo, a cold hearted but beautiful woman who wants to get his money from him. She and the strong man plot to kill him and another normal sized woman who is an animal trainer during a storm while the old fashion circus wagons are carrying them to a new location. The side show people figure out what is happening and when the two wagons wreak they go after Cleo and the strong man. The end of the movie has a wicked twist to it.
The movie shows that it is not what you look like that makes you a monster but how you act. If you ever get to see it check it out.
I woke up early Saturday Morning and got nervous because I was parked illegally since the parking here sucks so badly, so I got up and decided to go to coffee until time to pick up CJ. I got to Chef's hut at 6 am when they opened up and sat there working on my cards and making a list of who to make cards for so I could figure out how many I need to get finished. I was about 5 minutes late to pick up CJ and for the once he got off on time instead of 10 or 15 minutes late so he was waiting for me wouldn't you know it. Everytime I get there on time he has to finish up stuff but when I get there late he is done early…LOL
CJ is playing Smackdown vs. Raw while I waste time on the computer and we decide if we want to do laundry today or tomorrow since he has a few days off, oh the excitement of our fast paced lives.
Current mood: content
CJ got paid on Friday so we ran a few errands and mailed stuff to his kids and stopped by SOMETHING WICKED and found him 3 shirts on sale for a total of $10. They are the kind of cool bowling style shirts with interesting patterns on them and now I think we need to find a couple plain black t-shirts so CJ can wear them open over them which is my favorite way for people to wear that style.
CJ was a sweetie and took me to lunch, we made the mistake of going to Applebee's. Wow talk about expensive. They do have a few (very few) lunch specials but everything else is pretty costly so we got an appetizer platter with quesadillas, mozzarella sticks, spinach artichoke dip with chips and chipotle chicken bites, that was $10.
I also got a cup of French onion soups which I love ($3). I wish there was a Panera Bread Company here in Boise, they are a killer restaurant that specializes in fancy breads and soup and sandwiches and they make the best French onion soup in a bread bowl I have ever had. I also wish we had a CiCi's Pizza buffet, a Damon's sports pub and a Bennigan's, all restaurants I liked in the Midwest and south.
I shouldn't be thinking of food so much since I have got to start watching my weight a lot more, not being able to walk far and the winter munchies (not to mention my recently discovered addiction to Ice Cream after years of not being able to eat it) has caused me to gain a little. With my arthritis even a tiny bit causes more pain. I read where for ever pound you loose it is like taking 4 pounds of pressure off your knees so if I gain 10 pounds it is like I am walking around carrying a 40 pound sack of potatoes as far as my knees are concerned. It is going to be hard with the holidays here but I am going to try to eat healthy and still enjoy special occasions.
I have gotten a lot of my holiday cards done but I still want to get more finished, I may have to invest in another pad of watercolor paper after the first so I can make some more. Most of the ones I am making are super simple but I think they look nice.
Last night while CJ was at work I watched the cult classic movie FREAKS on TCM's Underground program which is hosted by Rob Zombie. I have heard about it for years but never seen it, it is an interesting movie that you really could not make these days since people would freak out (no pun intended) about showing real people as side show freaks, and it just would not work with CGI and stuff. It is the story of a circus and the side show freaks who work in it, concidering how old it is (1932) they are shown in a pretty good light while most of the "normal" people are rude and untrustworthy. One of the Midgets (yes midget not dwarf) in the circus is a very wealthy man who is engaged to a beautiful midget woman who he tosses aside for Cleo, a cold hearted but beautiful woman who wants to get his money from him. She and the strong man plot to kill him and another normal sized woman who is an animal trainer during a storm while the old fashion circus wagons are carrying them to a new location. The side show people figure out what is happening and when the two wagons wreak they go after Cleo and the strong man. The end of the movie has a wicked twist to it.
The movie shows that it is not what you look like that makes you a monster but how you act. If you ever get to see it check it out.
I woke up early Saturday Morning and got nervous because I was parked illegally since the parking here sucks so badly, so I got up and decided to go to coffee until time to pick up CJ. I got to Chef's hut at 6 am when they opened up and sat there working on my cards and making a list of who to make cards for so I could figure out how many I need to get finished. I was about 5 minutes late to pick up CJ and for the once he got off on time instead of 10 or 15 minutes late so he was waiting for me wouldn't you know it. Everytime I get there on time he has to finish up stuff but when I get there late he is done early…LOL
CJ is playing Smackdown vs. Raw while I waste time on the computer and we decide if we want to do laundry today or tomorrow since he has a few days off, oh the excitement of our fast paced lives.
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Survey, Random questions to help waste time
Current mood: bored
What art/posters do you have in your room? I have my own art in my bedroom, my drawing of a male angel done in graphite on silver washed paper and a semi abstract oil pencil drawing, I need to hang more in there.
What do you hear right now? CJ is playing a video game with those annoying anime girl voices that make me grind my teeth, my computer humming quietly and my keys tapping.
Does anything hurt on your body right now? Oh man, yeah my knees and neck as always and my ear, I bruised it because it itched inside and I really rubbed it too hard, didn't know you could bruise your ear
When's your birthday? Dec 7th … we are celebrating it on the 10th at Industria so I expect all my friends to make it out
What were you doing at 6 pm last night? Watching DR. WHO on sci-fi
What's your favorite coffeeshop drink? Coffee con leche … which is a fancy way of saying coffee with a lot of cream and sugar.
Did you attend high school prom? Nope, I got my GED at 16 and was at University by the time my class had their senior prom
Something red within 5 feet of you? Lots, red text on "The Mummy" poster and a red background on the "Dracula" poster in my computer room, CJ's reddish shirt and a bottle of ketchup he brought in here to have with left over fries from Merritts and forgot to take back into the kitchen
When was the last time you ate chips? I am not a big fan of chips but we did have some this week and yesterday I had some really nice corn chips at Applebee's with the spinach dip
Favorite kind of pizzas? Hawaiian. I also like Flying Pie's whole garlic pizza and Papa Murphy's Chicken Garlic
Favorite number? 7 cause of my birthday
How old were you when you got your first car? Around 23 or 24 I did not learn to drive til I was 23.
Do you own your own car? Yep I own a mini van called Damn Van
Have you ever been married? Nope I was engaged once but that did not work out at all.
Do you want to get married? HUMMMMMM, not sure, personally I don't think I have to get married to prove my love but if it really meant a lot to the other person I might
Favorite store? Target and Cost Plus
One place you want to travel to? ParisIf you could have anything right now what would it be? To be healthy (physically and mentally) and not in pain. Money would not hurt either.
What art/posters do you have in your room? I have my own art in my bedroom, my drawing of a male angel done in graphite on silver washed paper and a semi abstract oil pencil drawing, I need to hang more in there.
What do you hear right now? CJ is playing a video game with those annoying anime girl voices that make me grind my teeth, my computer humming quietly and my keys tapping.
Does anything hurt on your body right now? Oh man, yeah my knees and neck as always and my ear, I bruised it because it itched inside and I really rubbed it too hard, didn't know you could bruise your ear
When's your birthday? Dec 7th … we are celebrating it on the 10th at Industria so I expect all my friends to make it out
What were you doing at 6 pm last night? Watching DR. WHO on sci-fi
What's your favorite coffeeshop drink? Coffee con leche … which is a fancy way of saying coffee with a lot of cream and sugar.
Did you attend high school prom? Nope, I got my GED at 16 and was at University by the time my class had their senior prom
Something red within 5 feet of you? Lots, red text on "The Mummy" poster and a red background on the "Dracula" poster in my computer room, CJ's reddish shirt and a bottle of ketchup he brought in here to have with left over fries from Merritts and forgot to take back into the kitchen
When was the last time you ate chips? I am not a big fan of chips but we did have some this week and yesterday I had some really nice corn chips at Applebee's with the spinach dip
Favorite kind of pizzas? Hawaiian. I also like Flying Pie's whole garlic pizza and Papa Murphy's Chicken Garlic
Favorite number? 7 cause of my birthday
How old were you when you got your first car? Around 23 or 24 I did not learn to drive til I was 23.
Do you own your own car? Yep I own a mini van called Damn Van
Have you ever been married? Nope I was engaged once but that did not work out at all.
Do you want to get married? HUMMMMMM, not sure, personally I don't think I have to get married to prove my love but if it really meant a lot to the other person I might
Favorite store? Target and Cost Plus
One place you want to travel to? ParisIf you could have anything right now what would it be? To be healthy (physically and mentally) and not in pain. Money would not hurt either.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Turkey day?
I hate the term Turkey day
Current mood: thankful
Turkey day
I hate that, I hate when people call Thanksgiving Turkey day.
The meaning of the day is not TURKEY, turkey is nice but there is no way I am celebrating it.
It isn't as if thanksgiving was a religious holiday with a name that needs to be altered to spare some peoples sensibilities, it is just a day intended to give thanks (to whatever including fate and luck) for the things that are good in your life. The whole point of the dinner on Thanksgiving is to be with friends and family and be thankful for the bounty of the earth, the time and effort of your hosts, the fact that you have people you care for around you. No matter how bad it is most people have something to be thankful for even if it is just that their lives are not worse than they are.
I understand though don't really like the habit of calling Christmas X-MAS. I am not a christian, I don't in fact worship much of anything and I don't have a problem with that. On the other hand I am more than happy to take part in the celebrations of my friends and family. This year I will celebrate Christmas, Yule and Solstice, if I had any friends who wanted to celebrate Kwanza and Hanukah I would all up for that as well.
Most of my family are loosely Christian or equally loosely Pagan, and a few of us are agnostics and everyone is cool with that. In my mom's family we celebrate on Christmas Eve, we always have. That way it becomes more about being together than about our differences of belief.
I buy simple gifts at Christmas for my close friends and family, I refuse to stress about it and wont let it make me unhappy. I am making cards this year, which allows me to cover all my bases, Christmas, Yule and plain old Seasons greetings. Someone on line said "well that is a cheaper way to go." I guess they have never bought watercolor paper, watercolors, stickers and gold markers or spent about 12 hours working on dozens of different kinds of cards. But I would rather take the time and effort to make something unique that spend just a few dollars for a generic card that doesn't say what I want it to. There are some people I will only be able to give a card to this year but then my friends and family know I am broke and wont hold it against me.
I have a lot to be thankful for this year.
I have my family who loves and supports me. I have CJ in my life and he makes me happy. I have more good, honest, decent friends in my life now than I have ever had, people I trust and who are honestly happy to see me and who worry when I am not around. I have a safe place to live with two wonderful catbabies (even though they both need to be shaved).
I am alive, maybe not healthy but I can walk even though it hurts.
I could focus on the pain, I could focus on what I don't have and be miserable but I would rather take a few moments and thank fate for what I do have. I like having one day I can be with friends and family and share food and love and companionship and let them know they mean a lot to me.
Current mood: thankful
Turkey day
I hate that, I hate when people call Thanksgiving Turkey day.
The meaning of the day is not TURKEY, turkey is nice but there is no way I am celebrating it.
It isn't as if thanksgiving was a religious holiday with a name that needs to be altered to spare some peoples sensibilities, it is just a day intended to give thanks (to whatever including fate and luck) for the things that are good in your life. The whole point of the dinner on Thanksgiving is to be with friends and family and be thankful for the bounty of the earth, the time and effort of your hosts, the fact that you have people you care for around you. No matter how bad it is most people have something to be thankful for even if it is just that their lives are not worse than they are.
I understand though don't really like the habit of calling Christmas X-MAS. I am not a christian, I don't in fact worship much of anything and I don't have a problem with that. On the other hand I am more than happy to take part in the celebrations of my friends and family. This year I will celebrate Christmas, Yule and Solstice, if I had any friends who wanted to celebrate Kwanza and Hanukah I would all up for that as well.
Most of my family are loosely Christian or equally loosely Pagan, and a few of us are agnostics and everyone is cool with that. In my mom's family we celebrate on Christmas Eve, we always have. That way it becomes more about being together than about our differences of belief.
I buy simple gifts at Christmas for my close friends and family, I refuse to stress about it and wont let it make me unhappy. I am making cards this year, which allows me to cover all my bases, Christmas, Yule and plain old Seasons greetings. Someone on line said "well that is a cheaper way to go." I guess they have never bought watercolor paper, watercolors, stickers and gold markers or spent about 12 hours working on dozens of different kinds of cards. But I would rather take the time and effort to make something unique that spend just a few dollars for a generic card that doesn't say what I want it to. There are some people I will only be able to give a card to this year but then my friends and family know I am broke and wont hold it against me.
I have a lot to be thankful for this year.
I have my family who loves and supports me. I have CJ in my life and he makes me happy. I have more good, honest, decent friends in my life now than I have ever had, people I trust and who are honestly happy to see me and who worry when I am not around. I have a safe place to live with two wonderful catbabies (even though they both need to be shaved).
I am alive, maybe not healthy but I can walk even though it hurts.
I could focus on the pain, I could focus on what I don't have and be miserable but I would rather take a few moments and thank fate for what I do have. I like having one day I can be with friends and family and share food and love and companionship and let them know they mean a lot to me.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Still waiting
Current mood: frustrated
Sorry I haven't felt like writing for a while, nothing very exciting has been going on.
Sunday CJ and I went to Industria for an hour or so before he had to go to work, we got there at 9 and left around 10:20 when things were just starting to get going. Thankfully CJ is suppose to have the next two Sundays off (we will see since his work schedule is volatile and likely to change at any time) and hopefully we will make it down there on both of them.
My birthday is the 7th of December which is a Thursday but I asked CJ to request the 10th off so we can go celebrate at Industria. Grandma asked me what I wanted for my birthday today and I told her that I had put a hat on layaway and could not afford to get it out so if she did not mind spending $30 she could get it out and give it to me for my B-day. I am hoping mom can get my birthday off so grandma and I can go out to Indian food, someone has to watch my grandfather since his memory has gone so much that he can not really be left by himself so mom would have to watch him so we could do lunch.
The weird thing is grandpa is as happy as he has ever been, he still functions pretty well, he gets around ok and it is as if he has forgotten a lot of the things that made him angry or unhappy. My grandfather has always been sort of neurotic, he would get an idea in his head and not be able to let it go, he would become convinced someone did not like him or that he had a reason not to like them. Now it is as if a lot of it has been washed away and he is free to just enjoy life. I just wish I could be more help to grandma.
She and I went out to lunch today, I think she really needed to get out and just talk with someone, so we went to Lone Star Steakhouse like we use to. Both of us love their baked sweet potatoes.
We are STILL waiting to find out if CJ can move in here, this Monday I called them and asked what was going on and she told me the person she needed to talk with had been out with some illness but she would e-mail her and get back to me that day. It has been 4 or 5 days now and no word, I will call again on Monday since they said he could stay until they got it figured out and if they are going to say no then I don't want to rush them. It is just so frustrating I wish I had never tried to do this the "right" way and just had him stay here without them knowing.
Current mood: frustrated
Sorry I haven't felt like writing for a while, nothing very exciting has been going on.
Sunday CJ and I went to Industria for an hour or so before he had to go to work, we got there at 9 and left around 10:20 when things were just starting to get going. Thankfully CJ is suppose to have the next two Sundays off (we will see since his work schedule is volatile and likely to change at any time) and hopefully we will make it down there on both of them.
My birthday is the 7th of December which is a Thursday but I asked CJ to request the 10th off so we can go celebrate at Industria. Grandma asked me what I wanted for my birthday today and I told her that I had put a hat on layaway and could not afford to get it out so if she did not mind spending $30 she could get it out and give it to me for my B-day. I am hoping mom can get my birthday off so grandma and I can go out to Indian food, someone has to watch my grandfather since his memory has gone so much that he can not really be left by himself so mom would have to watch him so we could do lunch.
The weird thing is grandpa is as happy as he has ever been, he still functions pretty well, he gets around ok and it is as if he has forgotten a lot of the things that made him angry or unhappy. My grandfather has always been sort of neurotic, he would get an idea in his head and not be able to let it go, he would become convinced someone did not like him or that he had a reason not to like them. Now it is as if a lot of it has been washed away and he is free to just enjoy life. I just wish I could be more help to grandma.
She and I went out to lunch today, I think she really needed to get out and just talk with someone, so we went to Lone Star Steakhouse like we use to. Both of us love their baked sweet potatoes.
We are STILL waiting to find out if CJ can move in here, this Monday I called them and asked what was going on and she told me the person she needed to talk with had been out with some illness but she would e-mail her and get back to me that day. It has been 4 or 5 days now and no word, I will call again on Monday since they said he could stay until they got it figured out and if they are going to say no then I don't want to rush them. It is just so frustrating I wish I had never tried to do this the "right" way and just had him stay here without them knowing.
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Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Might As Well Do one For the Girls
look at your top 3 girls listed on your Myspace- Don't change them!!-
Enter their names in order under "list your top 3"-
Be honest- Repost this so your friends can do it too.
Here's how it goes:
List your top 3:1- Danielle (Mademoiselle Dutch)
2- Marrisa (Lady_Harmony)
3- BrandyAngella (Countess Cunt)
1. Are you older than number 1?yes
2. Who did you comment last?Danielle
3. How did you meet number 2?Through Marrisa
4. If you were crying would 3 cheer you up?Posibly
5. Who can you talk to the easiest?All of them
6. Is 1 your best friend?One of my best friends (I would say all three are my best female friends)
7. Have you hugged anyone in your top 3?Probably all 3 though I am not much of a hugger
8. Who have you known the longest?Brandy, I have known her since sept of 04
9. Who have you known the shortest?Danielle
10. Who did you talk to on AIM or msn or yahoo or Icq with last?Danielle
11. Who do you want to see next and who will you see next?Probably Brandy, she might be at Industria tonight, not sure if I am going, if not then I should see Marrisa tomorrow for the game
12. Have you kissed any of your Top 3 guys/girls?Ummmmm NO
13. Have you ever been inside the homes of anyone of your top guys?All 3
14. Whos the most awkward to be around?I am pretty comfortable with all of them.
15. Do you know number 3's b-day?I think it is jan 3rd or 6th
16. Are you taller than number one?no
17. Have you ever been to the movies with number 3?I think so
18. Have you ever went out with any one of them?Elton
19. Whos most likely to repost this?Maybe Danielle not sure
20. Least likely?Brandy
21. Is any of your top 3 family?Nope
look at your top 3 girls listed on your Myspace- Don't change them!!-
Enter their names in order under "list your top 3"-
Be honest- Repost this so your friends can do it too.
Here's how it goes:
List your top 3:1- Danielle (Mademoiselle Dutch)
2- Marrisa (Lady_Harmony)
3- BrandyAngella (Countess Cunt)
1. Are you older than number 1?yes
2. Who did you comment last?Danielle
3. How did you meet number 2?Through Marrisa
4. If you were crying would 3 cheer you up?Posibly
5. Who can you talk to the easiest?All of them
6. Is 1 your best friend?One of my best friends (I would say all three are my best female friends)
7. Have you hugged anyone in your top 3?Probably all 3 though I am not much of a hugger
8. Who have you known the longest?Brandy, I have known her since sept of 04
9. Who have you known the shortest?Danielle
10. Who did you talk to on AIM or msn or yahoo or Icq with last?Danielle
11. Who do you want to see next and who will you see next?Probably Brandy, she might be at Industria tonight, not sure if I am going, if not then I should see Marrisa tomorrow for the game
12. Have you kissed any of your Top 3 guys/girls?Ummmmm NO
13. Have you ever been inside the homes of anyone of your top guys?All 3
14. Whos the most awkward to be around?I am pretty comfortable with all of them.
15. Do you know number 3's b-day?I think it is jan 3rd or 6th
16. Are you taller than number one?no
17. Have you ever been to the movies with number 3?I think so
18. Have you ever went out with any one of them?Elton
19. Whos most likely to repost this?Maybe Danielle not sure
20. Least likely?Brandy
21. Is any of your top 3 family?Nope
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Thanksgiving surrvey
A thanksgiving Survey
Current mood: creative
Since there is already a Christmas survey going around I decided to come up with a Thanksgiving one... have fun
Thanksgiving survey
1. What are the 3 things you are most thankful for right now?
My relationship with my family
My relationship with CJ
That I am safe and taken care of
2. Turkey or ham?
Ham with pineapple rings and cloves
3. What is your favorite side dish for thanksgiving dinner?
Sweet potatoes, not mashed up but big chunks without marshmallows
4. What is your least favorite?
Spinach
5. What is the farthest you have traveled for or during Thanksgiving?
2000 miles to be with my ex-fiancé in Illinois
6. Is anyone traveling a long way to see you this Thanksgiving?
Not really
7. Have you ever hosted a Thanksgiving dinner in your own home?
Not as an adult, when I was a teen I hosted a couple when I lived with my dad.
8. Have you ever cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal by yourself?
Yes when I was a teen I cooked every last thing now I am a big fan of potluck.
9. Who do you most want to spend this Thanksgiving with?
CJ
10. If you could spend Thanksgiving anywhere in the world where would it be?
Probably in Boise, right now I can't think of anywhere else I want to be.
11. Do you decorate for the holidays before or after Thanksgiving or not at all?
I guess after Thanksgiving, CJ says he is boycotting Christmas til the day after Thanksgiving.
12. Do you go shopping on the day after Thanksgiving?
I have in the past but only for those super sales early in the morning, one year I ended up in the mall on black Friday and did not know why it was so hellishly full til my friends reminded me that it was the day after thanksgiving.
13. Best dessert for Thanksgiving?
Sweet Potato Pie
14. Are Yams and Sweet Potatoes the same thing?
They are the same plant just different colors and texture… a true yam is not even close to a potato
15. Do you have a formal or informal meal at Thanksgiving?
I have never had a formal meal for thanksgiving
16. Ever have to sit at the kid's table after you were 16?
Nope but then we usually just eat anywhere in the house and I don't ever remember a "kid's table" per se
17. Does turkey make you sleepy?
Yep, I always get tired after eating fresh turkey but not so much processed turkey
18. Do you watch football on Thanksgiving?
Not even a little bit if I can help it
19. How about the Thanksgivings day parade?
I have in the past but I don't make an effort to.
Current mood: creative
Since there is already a Christmas survey going around I decided to come up with a Thanksgiving one... have fun
Thanksgiving survey
1. What are the 3 things you are most thankful for right now?
My relationship with my family
My relationship with CJ
That I am safe and taken care of
2. Turkey or ham?
Ham with pineapple rings and cloves
3. What is your favorite side dish for thanksgiving dinner?
Sweet potatoes, not mashed up but big chunks without marshmallows
4. What is your least favorite?
Spinach
5. What is the farthest you have traveled for or during Thanksgiving?
2000 miles to be with my ex-fiancé in Illinois
6. Is anyone traveling a long way to see you this Thanksgiving?
Not really
7. Have you ever hosted a Thanksgiving dinner in your own home?
Not as an adult, when I was a teen I hosted a couple when I lived with my dad.
8. Have you ever cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal by yourself?
Yes when I was a teen I cooked every last thing now I am a big fan of potluck.
9. Who do you most want to spend this Thanksgiving with?
CJ
10. If you could spend Thanksgiving anywhere in the world where would it be?
Probably in Boise, right now I can't think of anywhere else I want to be.
11. Do you decorate for the holidays before or after Thanksgiving or not at all?
I guess after Thanksgiving, CJ says he is boycotting Christmas til the day after Thanksgiving.
12. Do you go shopping on the day after Thanksgiving?
I have in the past but only for those super sales early in the morning, one year I ended up in the mall on black Friday and did not know why it was so hellishly full til my friends reminded me that it was the day after thanksgiving.
13. Best dessert for Thanksgiving?
Sweet Potato Pie
14. Are Yams and Sweet Potatoes the same thing?
They are the same plant just different colors and texture… a true yam is not even close to a potato
15. Do you have a formal or informal meal at Thanksgiving?
I have never had a formal meal for thanksgiving
16. Ever have to sit at the kid's table after you were 16?
Nope but then we usually just eat anywhere in the house and I don't ever remember a "kid's table" per se
17. Does turkey make you sleepy?
Yep, I always get tired after eating fresh turkey but not so much processed turkey
18. Do you watch football on Thanksgiving?
Not even a little bit if I can help it
19. How about the Thanksgivings day parade?
I have in the past but I don't make an effort to.
Nov 9th
And here is the Christmas Survey
Current mood: cheerful
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?I love Egg Nog but too much of it makes me sick to my tummy, I perfer Pumpkin spiced coffee with cream or Chai tea
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?I believe in Hogfather, he just dumps the presents down the chimney
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?I love blue and purple lights
4. Do you hang mistletoe?I have but not often, might hang some over the bed this year….LOL
5. When do you put your decorations up?CJ says he is boycotting Christmas til thanksgiving so we will probably be doing all our decorating then, it should be a lot of fun I don't usually decorate but I feel like it this year.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)I like most of it but probably Ham since it is not something I eat often
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:spending Christmas eve at my grandma's
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?Recognized one of my uncles dressed as Santa
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?My Mom's family opened most of our gifts on Christmas eve and a few in the morning and then we would go to my dad's family on Christmas day
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?This year I am doing our tree in crystals and probably purple lights
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?I love it in the mnts hate it in town
12. Can you ice skate?Not if my life depended on it
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?I always loved getting cool comforters and stuff I still do which is why I have so many blankets
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?Spending time with family, I refuse to get stressed out about buying gifts and stuff like that
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?Fudge
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?Spending Christmas eve at grandma's
17. What tops your tree?not sure yet, I need to find something to go with my crystals
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?Giving, receiving is fun but the giving part last for months as I find and get the perfect little gifts.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?I am not at all religious but I love Silent Night, it is simply a beautiful song
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?I always buy tons of them right after Christmas and eat them during the year they help upset tummies.
Current mood: cheerful
1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?I love Egg Nog but too much of it makes me sick to my tummy, I perfer Pumpkin spiced coffee with cream or Chai tea
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?I believe in Hogfather, he just dumps the presents down the chimney
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?I love blue and purple lights
4. Do you hang mistletoe?I have but not often, might hang some over the bed this year….LOL
5. When do you put your decorations up?CJ says he is boycotting Christmas til thanksgiving so we will probably be doing all our decorating then, it should be a lot of fun I don't usually decorate but I feel like it this year.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)I like most of it but probably Ham since it is not something I eat often
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:spending Christmas eve at my grandma's
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?Recognized one of my uncles dressed as Santa
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?My Mom's family opened most of our gifts on Christmas eve and a few in the morning and then we would go to my dad's family on Christmas day
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?This year I am doing our tree in crystals and probably purple lights
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?I love it in the mnts hate it in town
12. Can you ice skate?Not if my life depended on it
13. Do you remember your favorite gift?I always loved getting cool comforters and stuff I still do which is why I have so many blankets
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?Spending time with family, I refuse to get stressed out about buying gifts and stuff like that
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?Fudge
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?Spending Christmas eve at grandma's
17. What tops your tree?not sure yet, I need to find something to go with my crystals
18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving?Giving, receiving is fun but the giving part last for months as I find and get the perfect little gifts.
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?I am not at all religious but I love Silent Night, it is simply a beautiful song
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?I always buy tons of them right after Christmas and eat them during the year they help upset tummies.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Another time wasting surrvey
A survey to waste time
[[.Now.]]
Current mood: Wired, too much caffeine also sore, my neck is killing me
Current music: Really annoying video game music to Dark Cloud 2 that CJ is playing
Current Taste: Salt and vinegar chips
Current hair: straight and reddish brown
Current clothes: Wearing my snakeskin velvet dress as a nightgown
Current annoyance: Sore neck
Current thing I should be doing: Cleaning the kitchen
Current favorite band: The Cruxshadows
Current book(s): some stupid romance or another
Current cd in stereo: Nothing
Current crush: CJ
[ DO YOU.. ]
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: I have weird dreams but seldom the same one twice
Read the newspaper?: sometimes when I am at the coffee shop, CJ buys it sometimes
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: many
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes, but it takes commitment on both parts you have to work at it and want it, temptation is easy to give into but it can destroy everything
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: I try to be
Consider love a mistake?: It is possible to think you are in love when you are not, when you just want to be in love, it is easy at those times to hurt other people or yourself, real love is wanting whatever is best for the other person, I finally understand that.
Have a favorite candy?: Godiva chocolate which I seldom get
Believe in astrology?: sort of … it is fun to see if it has any correlation with what is going on in your life at the time and it can give you things to think about.
Believe in magic?: sure why not
Believe in god?: Not sure from day to day what I believe, I guess I am agnostic with a leaning toward paganism
Have any pets: 2 spoiled rotten cat, Nepo and Princess
Go to or plan to go to college: I spent a long time at BSU I would like to go again but with my arthritis it would be very hard and of course money is always an issue
Have any piercings?: 1 in each ear
Have an obsession?: I try not to get obsessed, it poisons you, I have had obsessive relationships and I end up being the only one hurt, this is one of the few relationships I have had where I have a good grip on it.
Have a secret crush?: nope, it's not a secret
Have a best friend?: many
Wish on stars?: Might as well
[ LOVE LIFE ]
Do you believe in love at first sight?: I have found that love at first sight is seldom a good thing, even love at first meeting, getting to know someone is important.
Do you believe in "the one?": As in the ONE for you? Yes… as in the Matrix… hummmmm
Do you want to get married?: Who knows maybe someday
Current relationship status?: Happily involved
[ETC]
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: once or twice
Are you a tease?: I am a flirt not a tease, a tease implies they are going to do something they don't intend to do.
Shy to make the first move?: No
[ APPEARANCE ]
Hair: Strait reddish brown
Eyes: Very dark brown
Height: 5'8"
[ LAST THING.. ]
Bought: A bagel and coffee
Ate & Drank: A bagel and lots of coffee, a couple of salt and vinegar chips
Read: Cheryl's blog
Watched on TV: Last thing I watched all the way through was Eureka
[ EITHER OR.. ]
beer or cider: I love Hornsby Hard Cider
cats or dogs: Cats.
single or taken: taken
Spontaneous or plain: spontaneous.
pen or pencil: pen
gloves or mittens: gloves, mittens are for little kids
food or candy: food. Preferably ethnic
cassette or cd: cd, does anyone actually use cassettes these day?
coke or pepsi: coke with lime
[ LAST PERSON YOU..not family ]
saw: CJ (he is sitting in the same room playing video games)
talked to on the phone: CJ last night
confronted: Not sure I am not too confrontational
text-messaged: no one I don't have a cell phone
Made you Mad: The people who run my apts for taking so long to let us know if CJ can move in.
hugged: CJ
[..HAVE YOU EVER..]
Broken the law? Nothing serious, a little shoplifting when I was a teen, and speeding of course
Run away from home?: yeah when I was like 11 it lasted about 4 hours
Broken a bone?: yes, my arm when I was 5
Played Truth Or Dare?: yep
Kissed someone you didn't know?: yes
Been in a fight?: I have not been in a physical fight for years and years and I try not to get in verbal fights, though sometimes I get in spats with people, little short arguments.
Come close to dying?: Been in a wreck or two that could have killed me
[ WHAT IS.. ]
Bothering you right now?: My neck and the apt people
Your bedroom like?: a mess
Your favorite thing for breakfast?: biscuits and gravy at merritt's
Your favorite restaurant?: It use to be Chef's Hut but not so much anymore, I guess I don't have a real favorite right now
What's on your bedside table?: books, a cup, junk
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?: Usually whatever is easy
What is your biggest fear?: being crippled and unable to walk
Describe your bed: Black bottom sheet, 3 pillows, a big blue vellux blanket and CJ's thick black dragon blanket
Do you know how to play poker?: yes but I suck at it, no poker face
What do you carry with you at all times?: My necklace
How do you drive? By sitting behind the steering wheel
What do you miss most about being little? Being little
Are you happy with your given name? I like it
Have you ever been in a play? Yeah as little kid
Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? no, they make me sad.
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? Yes I try to be
[[.Now.]]
Current mood: Wired, too much caffeine also sore, my neck is killing me
Current music: Really annoying video game music to Dark Cloud 2 that CJ is playing
Current Taste: Salt and vinegar chips
Current hair: straight and reddish brown
Current clothes: Wearing my snakeskin velvet dress as a nightgown
Current annoyance: Sore neck
Current thing I should be doing: Cleaning the kitchen
Current favorite band: The Cruxshadows
Current book(s): some stupid romance or another
Current cd in stereo: Nothing
Current crush: CJ
[ DO YOU.. ]
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: I have weird dreams but seldom the same one twice
Read the newspaper?: sometimes when I am at the coffee shop, CJ buys it sometimes
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: many
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes, but it takes commitment on both parts you have to work at it and want it, temptation is easy to give into but it can destroy everything
Consider yourself tolerant of others?: I try to be
Consider love a mistake?: It is possible to think you are in love when you are not, when you just want to be in love, it is easy at those times to hurt other people or yourself, real love is wanting whatever is best for the other person, I finally understand that.
Have a favorite candy?: Godiva chocolate which I seldom get
Believe in astrology?: sort of … it is fun to see if it has any correlation with what is going on in your life at the time and it can give you things to think about.
Believe in magic?: sure why not
Believe in god?: Not sure from day to day what I believe, I guess I am agnostic with a leaning toward paganism
Have any pets: 2 spoiled rotten cat, Nepo and Princess
Go to or plan to go to college: I spent a long time at BSU I would like to go again but with my arthritis it would be very hard and of course money is always an issue
Have any piercings?: 1 in each ear
Have an obsession?: I try not to get obsessed, it poisons you, I have had obsessive relationships and I end up being the only one hurt, this is one of the few relationships I have had where I have a good grip on it.
Have a secret crush?: nope, it's not a secret
Have a best friend?: many
Wish on stars?: Might as well
[ LOVE LIFE ]
Do you believe in love at first sight?: I have found that love at first sight is seldom a good thing, even love at first meeting, getting to know someone is important.
Do you believe in "the one?": As in the ONE for you? Yes… as in the Matrix… hummmmm
Do you want to get married?: Who knows maybe someday
Current relationship status?: Happily involved
[ETC]
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing?: once or twice
Are you a tease?: I am a flirt not a tease, a tease implies they are going to do something they don't intend to do.
Shy to make the first move?: No
[ APPEARANCE ]
Hair: Strait reddish brown
Eyes: Very dark brown
Height: 5'8"
[ LAST THING.. ]
Bought: A bagel and coffee
Ate & Drank: A bagel and lots of coffee, a couple of salt and vinegar chips
Read: Cheryl's blog
Watched on TV: Last thing I watched all the way through was Eureka
[ EITHER OR.. ]
beer or cider: I love Hornsby Hard Cider
cats or dogs: Cats.
single or taken: taken
Spontaneous or plain: spontaneous.
pen or pencil: pen
gloves or mittens: gloves, mittens are for little kids
food or candy: food. Preferably ethnic
cassette or cd: cd, does anyone actually use cassettes these day?
coke or pepsi: coke with lime
[ LAST PERSON YOU..not family ]
saw: CJ (he is sitting in the same room playing video games)
talked to on the phone: CJ last night
confronted: Not sure I am not too confrontational
text-messaged: no one I don't have a cell phone
Made you Mad: The people who run my apts for taking so long to let us know if CJ can move in.
hugged: CJ
[..HAVE YOU EVER..]
Broken the law? Nothing serious, a little shoplifting when I was a teen, and speeding of course
Run away from home?: yeah when I was like 11 it lasted about 4 hours
Broken a bone?: yes, my arm when I was 5
Played Truth Or Dare?: yep
Kissed someone you didn't know?: yes
Been in a fight?: I have not been in a physical fight for years and years and I try not to get in verbal fights, though sometimes I get in spats with people, little short arguments.
Come close to dying?: Been in a wreck or two that could have killed me
[ WHAT IS.. ]
Bothering you right now?: My neck and the apt people
Your bedroom like?: a mess
Your favorite thing for breakfast?: biscuits and gravy at merritt's
Your favorite restaurant?: It use to be Chef's Hut but not so much anymore, I guess I don't have a real favorite right now
What's on your bedside table?: books, a cup, junk
What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?: Usually whatever is easy
What is your biggest fear?: being crippled and unable to walk
Describe your bed: Black bottom sheet, 3 pillows, a big blue vellux blanket and CJ's thick black dragon blanket
Do you know how to play poker?: yes but I suck at it, no poker face
What do you carry with you at all times?: My necklace
How do you drive? By sitting behind the steering wheel
What do you miss most about being little? Being little
Are you happy with your given name? I like it
Have you ever been in a play? Yeah as little kid
Do poor, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? no, they make me sad.
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? Yes I try to be
nov 8th
My Mellow day
Current mood: mellow
Last night when I took CJ to work I could not find parking so I parked illegally in the extra space next to the handicap parking in my lot, I just hurt too bad to walk all the way from the office to my place. Anyway I was so paranoid I kept checking on the van looking for an open spot every few hours. Around 5 I got up and stumbled outside and saw there was a spot open but I was so tired I said fuck it
I went back to bed til 6:15, it is weird but I woke up after sleeping just an hour and a quarter longer and was totally awake and ready to go. I got dressed and grabbed my book and headed to Chef's Hut for coffee and a bagel. I sat at the counter and talked with the waitress Lisa for a while, drank way too much coffee and just hung out until it was time to go get CJ. I really only go to Chef's Hut these days to visit the waitresses and cause it is close, the food is still good and not too expensive but it is not as special as it use to be under the old owners.
I really did not do much today, cleaned up after the cats, made some chicken vegetable soup and corn muffins. I can't wait until I get a full size crockpot, making soup in a 1.5 qt one is ok but you can only really make a few servings, I think mom is getting me one for Christmas or my birthday.
I also made an entire 12 cup pot of chai tea and drank it so now I am shaking like a leaf, I doubt I am going to get much sleep tonight but you never know with me I seem to be sleeping a lot but I think it is more that I sleep a few hours at a time 3 times a day or so and it just feels long.
Current mood: mellow
Last night when I took CJ to work I could not find parking so I parked illegally in the extra space next to the handicap parking in my lot, I just hurt too bad to walk all the way from the office to my place. Anyway I was so paranoid I kept checking on the van looking for an open spot every few hours. Around 5 I got up and stumbled outside and saw there was a spot open but I was so tired I said fuck it
I went back to bed til 6:15, it is weird but I woke up after sleeping just an hour and a quarter longer and was totally awake and ready to go. I got dressed and grabbed my book and headed to Chef's Hut for coffee and a bagel. I sat at the counter and talked with the waitress Lisa for a while, drank way too much coffee and just hung out until it was time to go get CJ. I really only go to Chef's Hut these days to visit the waitresses and cause it is close, the food is still good and not too expensive but it is not as special as it use to be under the old owners.
I really did not do much today, cleaned up after the cats, made some chicken vegetable soup and corn muffins. I can't wait until I get a full size crockpot, making soup in a 1.5 qt one is ok but you can only really make a few servings, I think mom is getting me one for Christmas or my birthday.
I also made an entire 12 cup pot of chai tea and drank it so now I am shaking like a leaf, I doubt I am going to get much sleep tonight but you never know with me I seem to be sleeping a lot but I think it is more that I sleep a few hours at a time 3 times a day or so and it just feels long.
********************************************
Monday, November 06, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
A long Monday
Current mood: sleepy
This morning I get a call from CJ, someone did not show up for work this morning so instead of getting off at 8am after an 8 hour shift he had to work til 10:30am. Thank goodness Monday night was his night off and they did not take it away from hi the way they did his Sunday night.
I stopped by town square library and grabbed a bag of books then headed over to pick CJ up. I bought a couple books this month but I read too fast to afford to do that often, even at Wal-Mart where they are 25% off. I need to start going to the used bookstore and buying books the first of the month.
I had really weird dreams on Sunday when I tried to nap so I took a Lunesta to help me sleep, I don't know if I dreamed but I don't remember and they did not keep waking me up.
CJ had an appointment at 6 to 7:30 and then we went shopping at the dollar store for stuff to send his kids and a little bitty Christmas tree for his NASCAR stuff. CJ says we can't put any Christmas stuff up until thanksgiving, I guess he is right but I love all my shiny crystals… oh well we haven't got the bigger tree yet anyway. I bought my mom a gift yesterday and I have most of the gifts for CJ's kids and some of my friends stored away, now I just have to get my grandma a pair of Pjs and get CJ's gift out of layaway and get a few last things and I am set.
I don't have the slightest idea what to buy my brother, he is a pharmacist and makes big bank and so it is hard to figure out anything he might want I can give him, probably a book or calendar.
I have a hat on layaway at Army-Navy and I don't know if I am going to be able to get it out or not since I still owe $30 on it, I may have to sacrifice the $8 I put down on it or pay an extra $5 to keep it in there longer than 30 days. I need to think more seriously when I spend money.
We still have not heard from the landlords, part of me feels that as long as they don't actually say no yet it is not so bad and part of me just wants to know one way or another.
CJ took me to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 at the Overland park cinema, it is pretty cool you pay $3.50 and you get $3 worth of food tickets which is either a large pop or popcorn or 2 small ones or a couple of candy bars. The movie ends up beign about $.50. We both had a large caramel popcorn and a large pop and the cost of the movie for all of $6.50 each. The movie was great, though it was a bit long and it is hard for me to stay in one position so long. We got home around 11:30 and of course CJ had to go park the van somewhere away from the apt since as usual all the spots in our lot were full. They really need to go back to issuing parking permits and having the town truck go through on a regular basis. I think I am going to ask if there are any garages near my apt but I sort of doubt it and I hate to have to pay an extra $20 a month just to park.
Current mood: sleepy
This morning I get a call from CJ, someone did not show up for work this morning so instead of getting off at 8am after an 8 hour shift he had to work til 10:30am. Thank goodness Monday night was his night off and they did not take it away from hi the way they did his Sunday night.
I stopped by town square library and grabbed a bag of books then headed over to pick CJ up. I bought a couple books this month but I read too fast to afford to do that often, even at Wal-Mart where they are 25% off. I need to start going to the used bookstore and buying books the first of the month.
I had really weird dreams on Sunday when I tried to nap so I took a Lunesta to help me sleep, I don't know if I dreamed but I don't remember and they did not keep waking me up.
CJ had an appointment at 6 to 7:30 and then we went shopping at the dollar store for stuff to send his kids and a little bitty Christmas tree for his NASCAR stuff. CJ says we can't put any Christmas stuff up until thanksgiving, I guess he is right but I love all my shiny crystals… oh well we haven't got the bigger tree yet anyway. I bought my mom a gift yesterday and I have most of the gifts for CJ's kids and some of my friends stored away, now I just have to get my grandma a pair of Pjs and get CJ's gift out of layaway and get a few last things and I am set.
I don't have the slightest idea what to buy my brother, he is a pharmacist and makes big bank and so it is hard to figure out anything he might want I can give him, probably a book or calendar.
I have a hat on layaway at Army-Navy and I don't know if I am going to be able to get it out or not since I still owe $30 on it, I may have to sacrifice the $8 I put down on it or pay an extra $5 to keep it in there longer than 30 days. I need to think more seriously when I spend money.
We still have not heard from the landlords, part of me feels that as long as they don't actually say no yet it is not so bad and part of me just wants to know one way or another.
CJ took me to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 at the Overland park cinema, it is pretty cool you pay $3.50 and you get $3 worth of food tickets which is either a large pop or popcorn or 2 small ones or a couple of candy bars. The movie ends up beign about $.50. We both had a large caramel popcorn and a large pop and the cost of the movie for all of $6.50 each. The movie was great, though it was a bit long and it is hard for me to stay in one position so long. We got home around 11:30 and of course CJ had to go park the van somewhere away from the apt since as usual all the spots in our lot were full. They really need to go back to issuing parking permits and having the town truck go through on a regular basis. I think I am going to ask if there are any garages near my apt but I sort of doubt it and I hate to have to pay an extra $20 a month just to park.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
a rant
A rant
Current mood: pissed off
I am so stressed.
I can't afford to move out of this apt complex and now I had to sign a 21 page lease for a YEAR or pay an extra $100 a month. So I am stuck here for another year, not even able to park anywhere near my own apt half the time and not even sure if they are going to allow CJ to move in or not.
It has been 2 weeks now almost since we turned in the information for them to check, CJ has a bunch of medical bills that he is taking care of, and they keep saying that even though he would be moving in with me he is a risk financially. Now take this in to consideration, I have lived here for 31 months, Two and Half years. I have NEVER been late with my rent, I have never had a complaint against me, unlike a lot of the people here my pets do not shit in the yard, I have never had the cops called on me and I have never damaged my apt. I have only had to have one thing fixed the entire time I have lived here and most of all I CAN COVER THE RENT ON MY OWN.
I am not looking to have CJ move in here because I can not cover the rent, I can, yes it would be nice to get a break on rent but there is not a single month I could not cover my own rent as well as his part. They act like I am suddenly not going to be able to make rent if he moves in.
I will say that the lady in the office here has worked hard to get him approved, every time the credit office says no she tries something else, now we are down to the LAST possible thing going directly to the Assets Manager (what ever that means) and explaining it to her, I have offered to put down a $300 deposit, since my rent is $539 that is MORE then Half. I have offered to have TWO co-signers as well. And I wont even know until Monday at the earliest and probably not til Tuesday the way things are going. It is making me sick, I can't stay asleep, I am sick to my stomach, I am shaking, the stress is driving me nuts.
I love CJ, I love having him around, even though he is like most men a bed hog I have trouble sleeping when he is not there with me. He is a hard worker, he doesn't make me feel bad about not being able to do a lot of stuff and he accepts me for who I am. Which is a hell of a lot more then most men, or most people, have done for me. I don't think it is too much to want my boyfriend to live with me.
I put up with a lot from this place like the fact that there are 169 apartments and only 135 parking spots. Trust me if I had had the money I would have moved this last month when my lease came up. As it is I am going to have to find out if there is a garage I can rent anywhere near my apt. There goes another $20 a month I should not have to spend.
I don't know what I am going to do if CJ can't live here, he is going to have to move to Boise full time anyway and my mom is willing to rent him a room at her place, it isn't like I would not see him almost as much as I do now. It is just that I don't want to feel like I am sneaking around when he does stay, that I might have to prove to my apt complex that he doe not live here.
I sometimes think I should have just gone behind their backs and never told them I want him to move in and just do it, move him in lock, stock and barrel. But I try to do the right thing and look where it gets me
Current mood: pissed off
I am so stressed.
I can't afford to move out of this apt complex and now I had to sign a 21 page lease for a YEAR or pay an extra $100 a month. So I am stuck here for another year, not even able to park anywhere near my own apt half the time and not even sure if they are going to allow CJ to move in or not.
It has been 2 weeks now almost since we turned in the information for them to check, CJ has a bunch of medical bills that he is taking care of, and they keep saying that even though he would be moving in with me he is a risk financially. Now take this in to consideration, I have lived here for 31 months, Two and Half years. I have NEVER been late with my rent, I have never had a complaint against me, unlike a lot of the people here my pets do not shit in the yard, I have never had the cops called on me and I have never damaged my apt. I have only had to have one thing fixed the entire time I have lived here and most of all I CAN COVER THE RENT ON MY OWN.
I am not looking to have CJ move in here because I can not cover the rent, I can, yes it would be nice to get a break on rent but there is not a single month I could not cover my own rent as well as his part. They act like I am suddenly not going to be able to make rent if he moves in.
I will say that the lady in the office here has worked hard to get him approved, every time the credit office says no she tries something else, now we are down to the LAST possible thing going directly to the Assets Manager (what ever that means) and explaining it to her, I have offered to put down a $300 deposit, since my rent is $539 that is MORE then Half. I have offered to have TWO co-signers as well. And I wont even know until Monday at the earliest and probably not til Tuesday the way things are going. It is making me sick, I can't stay asleep, I am sick to my stomach, I am shaking, the stress is driving me nuts.
I love CJ, I love having him around, even though he is like most men a bed hog I have trouble sleeping when he is not there with me. He is a hard worker, he doesn't make me feel bad about not being able to do a lot of stuff and he accepts me for who I am. Which is a hell of a lot more then most men, or most people, have done for me. I don't think it is too much to want my boyfriend to live with me.
I put up with a lot from this place like the fact that there are 169 apartments and only 135 parking spots. Trust me if I had had the money I would have moved this last month when my lease came up. As it is I am going to have to find out if there is a garage I can rent anywhere near my apt. There goes another $20 a month I should not have to spend.
I don't know what I am going to do if CJ can't live here, he is going to have to move to Boise full time anyway and my mom is willing to rent him a room at her place, it isn't like I would not see him almost as much as I do now. It is just that I don't want to feel like I am sneaking around when he does stay, that I might have to prove to my apt complex that he doe not live here.
I sometimes think I should have just gone behind their backs and never told them I want him to move in and just do it, move him in lock, stock and barrel. But I try to do the right thing and look where it gets me
