Thursday, October 28, 2004
Beauty and truth
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty—that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know, except for the cause of death"
CSI Grisham paraphrasing Keats
We are all pretty much the same under the skin and under the flesh more so. Truly we are but our bones and souls and in the end we are all grinning like fools.
CSI Grisham paraphrasing Keats
We are all pretty much the same under the skin and under the flesh more so. Truly we are but our bones and souls and in the end we are all grinning like fools.
I would prefer
I think instead of a perfect mate I would prefer to just not want one, to have no sex drive, no desire to be loved or accepted or wanted for who and what I truly am.
I would rather not want to give love, to want to be touched, not just not want sex but not need to be hugged, to have my hand held, or to be looked at with desire and understanding.
I would prefer to be someone who can trust, who has faith, who controls her doubt. I would prefer to be someone who does not push people away with need, with fear, with doubt. I would prefer not to wonder at ever word, every movement, every action.
I would prefer to not be who I am when it comes to love.
But this is who I am and i am trying to make the most of it.
I would rather not want to give love, to want to be touched, not just not want sex but not need to be hugged, to have my hand held, or to be looked at with desire and understanding.
I would prefer to be someone who can trust, who has faith, who controls her doubt. I would prefer to be someone who does not push people away with need, with fear, with doubt. I would prefer not to wonder at ever word, every movement, every action.
I would prefer to not be who I am when it comes to love.
But this is who I am and i am trying to make the most of it.
Stitch and bitch
The group I hang out with here in Boise get together on Wednesdays outside this club called Neurolux and has a stitch and bitch, where we are suppose to bring crafts and do them while talking and hanging out, but it tends to become more of a bitch fest all the time.
It is funny cause it is dark by 7 pm now and cold as hell but we were all still sitting outside until 9 pm when we headed over to Mulligans, another bar around the corner.
I am sort of kind of seeing a new guy, we are at that stage of not knowing where it is going and if we are going to keep going on with it and if we will get to the Boyfriend-girlfriend stage. I met him at Industria on Sunday and have seen or talked to him everyday since. We had talked and to be honest had stood on the balcony of the bar and kissed for a good long time Sunday night ((to me kissing is not a huge deal, it is sweet and nice but does not equal say going home with someone... which I did NOT do)).
He told me he thought he could care for me a lot and wanted to get to know me. I will be honest, I thought it was a line, so you could have knocked me over with a feather when he called the next day and we talked for nearly an hour on the phone.
*N* showed up at stitch and Bitch and we sat there holding hands and talking to my friends and then we went to Mulligans where he studied a bit on his philosophy course but had to quit since hard music, air hockey and John Locke don't mix so well. I had my one drink of the night ((I don't usually drink booze but except for last weekend if I do it is only one or two)) I had a bloody Mary and it had so much black pepper in it I had to pour it in two glasses and have them top it up with tomato juice, but hey it lasted me all night long.
I love talking to *N* about philosophy, I have a basic idea about the names and some idea about the actual philosophies but I like learning more, I love smart men but they have to be cool about me asking questions and not get that whole "how can you be so dumb?" attitude going.
So far he has been great about it and I have been reading more about it on line. I have to admit it is a turn on for me to cuddle up and talk about something like that between kisses.
I wish I was the kind of person who could just let go and trust people, trust that they want to honestly be with me. For once I am going pretty slow for me, I am not going to get in deep or get totally intimate until I know this guy is serious and wants to stick around a while. I know my lack of trust can be a problem and a lot of guys can not handle it, they want me to have total faith in them from word one but I have been through too much for that.
We will see how things go.
It is funny cause it is dark by 7 pm now and cold as hell but we were all still sitting outside until 9 pm when we headed over to Mulligans, another bar around the corner.
I am sort of kind of seeing a new guy, we are at that stage of not knowing where it is going and if we are going to keep going on with it and if we will get to the Boyfriend-girlfriend stage. I met him at Industria on Sunday and have seen or talked to him everyday since. We had talked and to be honest had stood on the balcony of the bar and kissed for a good long time Sunday night ((to me kissing is not a huge deal, it is sweet and nice but does not equal say going home with someone... which I did NOT do)).
He told me he thought he could care for me a lot and wanted to get to know me. I will be honest, I thought it was a line, so you could have knocked me over with a feather when he called the next day and we talked for nearly an hour on the phone.
*N* showed up at stitch and Bitch and we sat there holding hands and talking to my friends and then we went to Mulligans where he studied a bit on his philosophy course but had to quit since hard music, air hockey and John Locke don't mix so well. I had my one drink of the night ((I don't usually drink booze but except for last weekend if I do it is only one or two)) I had a bloody Mary and it had so much black pepper in it I had to pour it in two glasses and have them top it up with tomato juice, but hey it lasted me all night long.
I love talking to *N* about philosophy, I have a basic idea about the names and some idea about the actual philosophies but I like learning more, I love smart men but they have to be cool about me asking questions and not get that whole "how can you be so dumb?" attitude going.
So far he has been great about it and I have been reading more about it on line. I have to admit it is a turn on for me to cuddle up and talk about something like that between kisses.
I wish I was the kind of person who could just let go and trust people, trust that they want to honestly be with me. For once I am going pretty slow for me, I am not going to get in deep or get totally intimate until I know this guy is serious and wants to stick around a while. I know my lack of trust can be a problem and a lot of guys can not handle it, they want me to have total faith in them from word one but I have been through too much for that.
We will see how things go.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
If...
If I am worth Loving then I am worth pursuing .
Monday, October 25, 2004
Flirting with....
As I have said before I am a flirtaholic. I know it is a defense mechanism, a way to deal with who and what I am, a way to behave as if I am always in control and not feeling vunerable and to be honest it is a habit. I am more then aware that for me it is a shield, a big shiny shield that protects me from getting too serious, another failing of mine, that protects me from caring too much for someone who won't feel the same, I mean if I flirt with everyone equally I can not focus on one person.
My biggest problem with guys is them not knowing the difference between me flirting with them and HITTING on them. To some people flirting and Macking (trying to get laid) is the same thing, for me it is the same as breathing, I simply do it. I do it to people I am attracted to, I do it to people I am not attracted to, to men and to women pretty equally.
It is hard for me to get it through to men that I am just a flirt, that it means nothing more then "hey-I-like-you-how-are-you?-having-a good-day?-that's nice." I know I make a lot of guys nervous and I wish I could get it through to them that if I wanted to screw them I will pretty much say so right out. Of course that is sooooo unlikely to happen since when I really like a guy and think I have a chance with him I am usually pretty mild, one of the reasons I can flirt the way I do is the belief that I am not going to succeed. Being who I am and what I am as well as how I look becomes a bit of a shield, if I acted the way I do and I looked like a model or even a average attractive woman I would get taken seriously when I flirt and would most likely end up in serious trouble.
What is odd is I know so many people who are amazing flirts in chat rooms but in real life they don't say boo... I seldom really flirt in chat and then only with the few male friends I can trust to not get weird on me about it, and yet in real life I am Mae West reborn.
I guess I just have to lay it on the line with the guys I flirt with, I just need to tell them it is just the way I am an means nothing serious and not to be afraid I am seriously hitting on them or that I am going to get my feelings hurt or that they have to do or say things to put me in my place so to speak. The funny thing is that the women I flirt with always know it is just flirting and if they don't know it it never seems to frighten them, either they are smarter then the guys or I am just less frightening to them.
I joke about being a cold hearted bitch, I wish I really was, I wish the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and unthinking words would not effect me but they do and I simply deal with it the only way I can.
My biggest problem with guys is them not knowing the difference between me flirting with them and HITTING on them. To some people flirting and Macking (trying to get laid) is the same thing, for me it is the same as breathing, I simply do it. I do it to people I am attracted to, I do it to people I am not attracted to, to men and to women pretty equally.
It is hard for me to get it through to men that I am just a flirt, that it means nothing more then "hey-I-like-you-how-are-you?-having-a good-day?-that's nice." I know I make a lot of guys nervous and I wish I could get it through to them that if I wanted to screw them I will pretty much say so right out. Of course that is sooooo unlikely to happen since when I really like a guy and think I have a chance with him I am usually pretty mild, one of the reasons I can flirt the way I do is the belief that I am not going to succeed. Being who I am and what I am as well as how I look becomes a bit of a shield, if I acted the way I do and I looked like a model or even a average attractive woman I would get taken seriously when I flirt and would most likely end up in serious trouble.
What is odd is I know so many people who are amazing flirts in chat rooms but in real life they don't say boo... I seldom really flirt in chat and then only with the few male friends I can trust to not get weird on me about it, and yet in real life I am Mae West reborn.
I guess I just have to lay it on the line with the guys I flirt with, I just need to tell them it is just the way I am an means nothing serious and not to be afraid I am seriously hitting on them or that I am going to get my feelings hurt or that they have to do or say things to put me in my place so to speak. The funny thing is that the women I flirt with always know it is just flirting and if they don't know it it never seems to frighten them, either they are smarter then the guys or I am just less frightening to them.
I joke about being a cold hearted bitch, I wish I really was, I wish the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and unthinking words would not effect me but they do and I simply deal with it the only way I can.
Frat boys meet Auntie T'Rina
Well I was on a bit of a tear tonight
When Brandy and I got to the BALCONY ((the bar)) around 9pm there was a group of about 15 frat boys and pledges there from KA and KS at BSU.
We were all kind of wondering what they were doing in the bar on a sunday night when we noticed that they were taking body shots off of this guys belly as he lay on a platform. Well being me I could not resist so I went up to them and said "I guess no one explained how to do a body shot right to you?"
Now mind you I was wearing my dress from Friday night so what they see when they look at me is about a mile of cleavage.
I got a lot of shocked and dazed looks and more then a few wows from them so I told them if they bought me a bottled beer I would show them a bar trick and next thing I know I have all these guys bringing up shots and asking if they can take body shots from between my cleavage.
So of course I said sure why not.
After about 5 of them did shots from my cleavage and took pics they bought me a vodka shooter which I downed, and then I had them bring me a bottle of MGD.
I have this little bar trick I have done for years. The trick is to put the bottle between my cleavage and reach down with my mouth, catch it between my lips and teeth and then lift it strait up so my head is strait back and drink it down in one without ever touching it with my hands, I always get it down.
Anyway there I am in a gay bar on goth night in a purple velvet evening gown surrounded by frat boys all cheering go go go go go Drink drink drink
It was a truely Auntie T'Rina Moment
You have heard of auntie Mame? who said "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving
Well Auntie T'Rina says "Life is a buffet and you might as well eat dessert first"
When Brandy and I got to the BALCONY ((the bar)) around 9pm there was a group of about 15 frat boys and pledges there from KA and KS at BSU.
We were all kind of wondering what they were doing in the bar on a sunday night when we noticed that they were taking body shots off of this guys belly as he lay on a platform. Well being me I could not resist so I went up to them and said "I guess no one explained how to do a body shot right to you?"
Now mind you I was wearing my dress from Friday night so what they see when they look at me is about a mile of cleavage.
I got a lot of shocked and dazed looks and more then a few wows from them so I told them if they bought me a bottled beer I would show them a bar trick and next thing I know I have all these guys bringing up shots and asking if they can take body shots from between my cleavage.
So of course I said sure why not.
After about 5 of them did shots from my cleavage and took pics they bought me a vodka shooter which I downed, and then I had them bring me a bottle of MGD.
I have this little bar trick I have done for years. The trick is to put the bottle between my cleavage and reach down with my mouth, catch it between my lips and teeth and then lift it strait up so my head is strait back and drink it down in one without ever touching it with my hands, I always get it down.
Anyway there I am in a gay bar on goth night in a purple velvet evening gown surrounded by frat boys all cheering go go go go go Drink drink drink
It was a truely Auntie T'Rina Moment
You have heard of auntie Mame? who said "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving
Well Auntie T'Rina says "Life is a buffet and you might as well eat dessert first"
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Voluptuous
This is in response to girl who said she was Voluptuous to say the Least.
I am voluptuous to say the MOST. I am also luscious, lush, luxurious,
bountiful and abundant.
I am in fact a Voluptuary as well as a sensualist, a
libertine and more then a bit of a hedonist.
Ahhh But Voluptuos is one of my favorite words. I
still can not figure out why this would be anything
but the highest praise.
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin voluptuosus,
irregular from voluptas pleasure, from volup
pleasurable; akin to Greek elpesthai to hope, Latin
velle to wish -- more at WILL
1 a : full of delight or pleasure to the senses :
conducive to or arising from sensuous or sensual
gratification : LUXURIOUSb : suggesting sensual
pleasure by fullness and beauty of form {voluptuous
nudes}
2 : given to or spent in enjoyments of luxury,
pleasure, or sensual gratifications {a long and
voluptuous holiday -- Edmund Wilson}
synonym see SENSUOUS
Last Nights ball
The place looked great, and the people were cool. Erin, Brandy and I were there when the doors opened ((HEY it was a free bar til 9 you know...LOL))
Loki and Salem showed up followed by Jen and her charming Hubby ((what a doll)) Later in the evening Hatter and Ginger showed up and hatter won tickets to the Opera.
we had a great time but a lot of that had to do with US, as a group getting along and getting tipsy ((the trick is to go to the Bar and order 2 drinks at once, the stock up..LOL))
The DJ played almost totally 80s music and not 80s goth, so while it got annoying at times it was fun to laugh at. But it seemed that he was doing it to be a bit of a shit, I talked to a lot of people there and the people putting it on said they had gotten a handful of CDs that were suggested to them and he was not playing them and the people who go there regularly told me the music is usually much better dance music similar to the balcony on a sat night.
I talked to the women who were hosting it and they said they had been a little worried about playing just goth music so I told them if they want to do this again and they say they do, they need to get the DJ from Industria or at least a DJ who understands Goth a bit and can mix Goth music with the better dance music and not just 80s music.
They had free munchies and I am now addicted to frozen then thawed blueberries, I scooped them all up into a martini glass and was feeding them to people, the guy doing the champagne bar in the ladies lounge thanked me for the blue balls.
I am sad there were not more people, I want this event to flourish to benifit the opera (we got to see the libretta from Nosferatu and the classic toredor song from Carmen)) My suggestions to them other then the DJ would be to have a two price system, $25 is fine for a 2 hour open bar, but if they had had the price set at say $15 AFTER 9 pm they would have more people coming. I would also suggest setting up an area in one of the courners with some props and stuff and taking photos for people at say $1.
Personally I had a great time, flirting my ass off, teasing the sweet little boy who joined us, giveing people blue balls, drinking much more then my $25 worth of Vodka and laughing at the music.
One funny thing that did happen was this cute little preppy girl in a corset who we kept noticing damn near falling out... if you know me you know I am a fixer, so I went up to her and said, "You are going to fall out of that thing, come in the bathroom and let me tie you in right" And surprisingly she did...LOL All night long she kept coming back telling me it was better and pointing me out to people.
And I managed to knock over ONLY the one cement side table and break the champange glass I tried to take from there on main street infront of one of the vendors...
We all went over to the Balcony after than ((a dress with a train on it is NOT designed for walking in the rain)) Jen and her hubby paid our way in ((I LOVE THEM)) and more dancing and flirting ensued.
Good night all around actually.
Brandy, Erin and me.
Loki and Salem showed up followed by Jen and her charming Hubby ((what a doll)) Later in the evening Hatter and Ginger showed up and hatter won tickets to the Opera.
we had a great time but a lot of that had to do with US, as a group getting along and getting tipsy ((the trick is to go to the Bar and order 2 drinks at once, the stock up..LOL))
The DJ played almost totally 80s music and not 80s goth, so while it got annoying at times it was fun to laugh at. But it seemed that he was doing it to be a bit of a shit, I talked to a lot of people there and the people putting it on said they had gotten a handful of CDs that were suggested to them and he was not playing them and the people who go there regularly told me the music is usually much better dance music similar to the balcony on a sat night.
I talked to the women who were hosting it and they said they had been a little worried about playing just goth music so I told them if they want to do this again and they say they do, they need to get the DJ from Industria or at least a DJ who understands Goth a bit and can mix Goth music with the better dance music and not just 80s music.
They had free munchies and I am now addicted to frozen then thawed blueberries, I scooped them all up into a martini glass and was feeding them to people, the guy doing the champagne bar in the ladies lounge thanked me for the blue balls.
I am sad there were not more people, I want this event to flourish to benifit the opera (we got to see the libretta from Nosferatu and the classic toredor song from Carmen)) My suggestions to them other then the DJ would be to have a two price system, $25 is fine for a 2 hour open bar, but if they had had the price set at say $15 AFTER 9 pm they would have more people coming. I would also suggest setting up an area in one of the courners with some props and stuff and taking photos for people at say $1.
Personally I had a great time, flirting my ass off, teasing the sweet little boy who joined us, giveing people blue balls, drinking much more then my $25 worth of Vodka and laughing at the music.
One funny thing that did happen was this cute little preppy girl in a corset who we kept noticing damn near falling out... if you know me you know I am a fixer, so I went up to her and said, "You are going to fall out of that thing, come in the bathroom and let me tie you in right" And surprisingly she did...LOL All night long she kept coming back telling me it was better and pointing me out to people.
And I managed to knock over ONLY the one cement side table and break the champange glass I tried to take from there on main street infront of one of the vendors...
We all went over to the Balcony after than ((a dress with a train on it is NOT designed for walking in the rain)) Jen and her hubby paid our way in ((I LOVE THEM)) and more dancing and flirting ensued.
Good night all around actually.
Brandy, Erin and me.
The Goth Ball
OK I will tell you all more about it when I am a little more sober, warm and have had some sleep.
I blew all my energy getting this page of pics done.
http://www.msxxl.com/gothball.html
I blew all my energy getting this page of pics done.
http://www.msxxl.com/gothball.html
Friday, October 22, 2004
Holliday sex
DECENT SEX is like the 4th of july ... exciting enough but never as many fireworks as you had hoped for
GOOD SEX is like thanksgiving ... you feel full and content afterwards but a few hours later you are wondering if there is anything else.
GREAT SEX is like Christmas, you are excited, you give and you get alot and you wake up to even more goodies
AMAZING SEX is like Halloween... you get to wear a costume, you have all kinds of props and you get more goodies then you can stand... and if things work out right you get a few tircks with your treats
GOOD SEX is like thanksgiving ... you feel full and content afterwards but a few hours later you are wondering if there is anything else.
GREAT SEX is like Christmas, you are excited, you give and you get alot and you wake up to even more goodies
AMAZING SEX is like Halloween... you get to wear a costume, you have all kinds of props and you get more goodies then you can stand... and if things work out right you get a few tircks with your treats
Just call me Cinderella
I am going to a Goth Ball to support opera Idaho and the premier of Nosfratu.
I am working on the dress right now. I hope it will be worth the $25 the ticket cost me.
I am working on the dress right now. I hope it will be worth the $25 the ticket cost me.
Thursday night pic
A pic of me last night ((thursday night) at the balcony, man it was dead last night.
Monday, October 18, 2004
more stuff
Adnachiel - This angel holds dominion over the sun sign Sagittarius. Those who were born under this sign can pray to Adnachiel for special protection and blessings. We can all pray to this shining one for the spirit gifts of independence, honesty and gregariousness.
Gregariousness?? Wowo that explains SOOOOOOOOOO much
Gregariousness?? Wowo that explains SOOOOOOOOOO much
A little Rhyme
There once was a little girl
who had a little curl
in the middle of her forehead
and when she was good
she was very very good
and when she was bad
she was dead
Saturday, October 16, 2004
MY CAR IS BACK
Just short of two weeks after it was taken my car turned up in a parking lot in downtown tucked in the corner surrounded by bushes.
Most of my stuff is there except for my road service kit (jumper cables and the like)
I am sooooooo Glad to get it back.
Most of my stuff is there except for my road service kit (jumper cables and the like)
I am sooooooo Glad to get it back.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Bus ride to hell!!!!!
Ok so it was not hell persay, it was embarrassing.
Wednesday i wanted to go downtown to the stitch and bitch at Neurolux at 7:30 so I thought OH I will catch the LAST fuckin bus and get downtown just in time.
So i am out in front of my complex at 6:57 when the bus comes by and I thought OK it goes by the mall and then will go downtown. NO NO that would be toooooo easy.
As the bus is heading in the oppisite fucking direction I ask the driver "This Bus does go downtown doesn't it?"
To which I get the reply of no and actually I am going out of service at Cole and Overland ((no where near downtown)). So thankfully the guy took me as far as Orchard and Overland and I had to go to Rite-Aid and call my grandmother (who Really should not be driving in the dark at all) to come and get me and drop me off downtown.
When I got to the bar some of my friends were saying what horrible days they had had so I told them "At least you are not to dumb to ride the bus."
Wednesday i wanted to go downtown to the stitch and bitch at Neurolux at 7:30 so I thought OH I will catch the LAST fuckin bus and get downtown just in time.
So i am out in front of my complex at 6:57 when the bus comes by and I thought OK it goes by the mall and then will go downtown. NO NO that would be toooooo easy.
As the bus is heading in the oppisite fucking direction I ask the driver "This Bus does go downtown doesn't it?"
To which I get the reply of no and actually I am going out of service at Cole and Overland ((no where near downtown)). So thankfully the guy took me as far as Orchard and Overland and I had to go to Rite-Aid and call my grandmother (who Really should not be driving in the dark at all) to come and get me and drop me off downtown.
When I got to the bar some of my friends were saying what horrible days they had had so I told them "At least you are not to dumb to ride the bus."
Good Night all around
I finally figured out the bus thing tonight and made it downtown...LOL
I went to the Edge (coffee and cool stuff) 11th and Idaho... and bought a cigarette holder that is shaped like an old fashion Band-aid box painted black with a white skull and crossbones on it.
I walked down to 8th and main and went to the Brick Oven Bistro for some of their great mash potatoes and Sage Nut stuffing in corn gravy and coffee. It was beautiful out so I sat on the patio even though it was dark and read Lady Chatterly's Lover and then did some more embroidery on a purse I am making.
Back to 11th and Idaho to the neurolux where I sat outside talking to people and sewing a shiny black spiderweb on the lapel of a black velvet jacket.
Since it seems to be my day for walking once it got too cold to really do any sewing without shivering to death I headed back to 6th and Main to visit with my friends who run a hot dog cart there and got there just as Brandi and Adam were driving up, which is great since not only are they great peoples they are neighbor's and as such a ride home.
Adam, Ray and I decided to go into the Main Street Bistro to get a Beer and on the way over I found a $5 bill... then when we get in the bar I practically stagger realizing that these really hot bartenders are not wearing shirts. SCORE. It was Ladies Night so I also got a $2 Long Island Ice Tea. Double Score!
The bartender asked me how I was doing and I said "Well I just found $5 and you aren't wearing a shirt so I would say pretty damn good all told."
I admit I was staring at him a lot, Ray asked me which of the bartenders I would take home if I could. It is sometimes hard for me to explain to people that I can really get into watching a good looking man and not be lusting after them. When I told Ray "Well he has an amazing back" he just laughed.
I was literally watching his wishing I had a really fast low light camera with me since the play of the light under the bar and the dark colored lights from neon signs on his body was great.
Better then last Wednesday when I had flaked off the fact that I had taken Cough Syrup and then had a beer with Adam and Ray and half way through the first was getting tipsy as hell so what do I do??? Have another of course!!!
We went outside and I was sitting on a cooler and leaning against a pole and just about falling asleep right there, I might of but my leg would not stop twitching like a dog. Thankfully Brandi and Adam were there to take me home cause I would have ended up falling asleep right there and then.
I went to the Edge (coffee and cool stuff) 11th and Idaho... and bought a cigarette holder that is shaped like an old fashion Band-aid box painted black with a white skull and crossbones on it.
I walked down to 8th and main and went to the Brick Oven Bistro for some of their great mash potatoes and Sage Nut stuffing in corn gravy and coffee. It was beautiful out so I sat on the patio even though it was dark and read Lady Chatterly's Lover and then did some more embroidery on a purse I am making.
Back to 11th and Idaho to the neurolux where I sat outside talking to people and sewing a shiny black spiderweb on the lapel of a black velvet jacket.
Since it seems to be my day for walking once it got too cold to really do any sewing without shivering to death I headed back to 6th and Main to visit with my friends who run a hot dog cart there and got there just as Brandi and Adam were driving up, which is great since not only are they great peoples they are neighbor's and as such a ride home.
Adam, Ray and I decided to go into the Main Street Bistro to get a Beer and on the way over I found a $5 bill... then when we get in the bar I practically stagger realizing that these really hot bartenders are not wearing shirts. SCORE. It was Ladies Night so I also got a $2 Long Island Ice Tea. Double Score!
The bartender asked me how I was doing and I said "Well I just found $5 and you aren't wearing a shirt so I would say pretty damn good all told."
I admit I was staring at him a lot, Ray asked me which of the bartenders I would take home if I could. It is sometimes hard for me to explain to people that I can really get into watching a good looking man and not be lusting after them. When I told Ray "Well he has an amazing back" he just laughed.
I was literally watching his wishing I had a really fast low light camera with me since the play of the light under the bar and the dark colored lights from neon signs on his body was great.
Better then last Wednesday when I had flaked off the fact that I had taken Cough Syrup and then had a beer with Adam and Ray and half way through the first was getting tipsy as hell so what do I do??? Have another of course!!!
We went outside and I was sitting on a cooler and leaning against a pole and just about falling asleep right there, I might of but my leg would not stop twitching like a dog. Thankfully Brandi and Adam were there to take me home cause I would have ended up falling asleep right there and then.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Cratively Dark Crafts #1
I am planning to make a subsite on my webpage of crafts with a darker edge and dark craft adaptations
this is the first one
http://www.msxxl.com/halloweenornaments.htm
fun halloween ornaments
this is the first one
http://www.msxxl.com/halloweenornaments.htm
fun halloween ornaments
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
By The Way
Still no fucking car....SOB
Ryan
One of the many interesting people I know
Crafty-Goth Day of the dead shirt
I did this tank top with metalic tole paint and based it on the Day of the Dead inspired art of Patrick Murillo and Kathy Cano Murillo,
Doing a shirt like this is as easy as can be, any new or old t-shirt or tank top can be used.
For a new shirt wash it 2 or 3 times to get all the sizing and starch out of it. I start with a very basic line drawing of what I have in mind on a piece of notebook paper and then using a little chalk or washable markers that you can see on black begin your drawing. You do not have to get too detailed with it since you will be adding the details with the paint.
A sheet of poster board works as well as any precut t-shirt board, and since I often do this kind of thing while chatting on the computer I personally use a large record size CD case and just do the shirt in sectons.
You firsts layers should be thinner, and pressed more deeply into the material and then you can build texture and brighter colors on top. Do not try to paint the entire shirt at once. Tole paint dries fast so as you do a section give it 10 or 15 mins to dry and then start working on the next section or layer, this keeps you from smearing the paint as you go.
Let the shirt dry 12 to 24 hours when you are done and then put it Alone in a delicate or handwash cycle of a washing machine to soften it up.
If you are worried about the paint coming off ((I have never really had this problem)) then you can buy products like Shiva that you can treat it with afterwards.
Remember any design will work but simple bright ones work best, also this is a good way to rescue a T you like that has a stain set in.
Good Luck
((By the way the pic was out of focus cause the person I had take it had never used my camera but I guess you can see the shirt fine.))
Friday, October 08, 2004
Making fun of goths...
I sometimes go to this club here in Idaho, it has a very mixed clientel and they have a message board, recently they have started a thread of Making fun of goths. You know this reminds me of making fun of fat people, the people who do it have an idea that we are all the same, they think they know what we are like so they don't feel they should have to get ot know us.
Here is what I tried to post to that board, by the way one of the posts was about how if you are a certain age you should grow out of dressing that way...
Here is what I tried to post to that board, by the way one of the posts was about how if you are a certain age you should grow out of dressing that way...
I am also 35... I did not know there was an expiration
date on how we dress. Is that like that comercial
where you have to sign a Grown UP contract and wear a
suit and drive a boring car?
So what is the acceptable cut off age of dressing a
fun manor?
Is there a age where your Jeans and t-shirt are no
longer acceptable. Will the fashion police stop you
and warn you that you should not be wearing that pair
of Levis and a Plays Well With Others t when you are
75 (I better let grandma know she might get a fashion
ticket then)
You seem to think we take ourselves oh so seriously,
this is actually funny since if you knew us (and I
doubt you have actually taken the time to gt to know
many of us) you would realize that most of us find
life funny as hell and while you appear to rip on
everyone the people we are most most likely to laugh
about are those who are Gother-than-thou... don't
confuse this with your own holier-than-thou attitude.
The invite is already out there but feel free to come
hang out, you will find all types of people in all
types of clothing around, and accepted by, us. Can
you say the same?
I always have to wonder what is missing inside of
someone that they have to mock and denigrate another
to make themselves feel good.
We live our lives, we don't piss in your cheerios and
we are pretty damn happy for a bunch of people who
have to face this kind of crap from people who have
not even taken the time to get to know us.
Sorry to disappoint you by the way, I am not upset and
my panties are not in a bunch, just thought I would
add my two cents and ohhh yeah I sigh mine.
Auntie T'Rina
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Jingo and The Truth
Well since I am stranded at home more or less it is a good thing I was able to go to the library before my car got stolen.
Right now I am reading Terry Pratchetts' Jingo and just finished his The Truth
These are from his DISCWORLD series
Right now I am reading Terry Pratchetts' Jingo and just finished his The Truth
These are from his DISCWORLD series
Reading
I love Pritchetts' books, he has a wild and wicked sence of humor that matches mine pretty close.
So far I have read
Feet of Clay
Interesting Times
Hogfather (my favorite christmas type story)
Lords and Ladies
Small Gods
Witches Abroad
Reaper Man
Moving Pictures
Wyrd Sisters
Mort
Equal Rites
The Light Fantastic
The Color of Magic
So far I have read
Feet of Clay
Interesting Times
Hogfather (my favorite christmas type story)
Lords and Ladies
Small Gods
Witches Abroad
Reaper Man
Moving Pictures
Wyrd Sisters
Mort
Equal Rites
The Light Fantastic
The Color of Magic
Monday, October 04, 2004
LADIES OF THE CANYON
Thanks to Autopaint who found this Joni Mitchel song... the scary thing is the Trina stuff in it describes me so well
Trina wears her wampum beads
She fills her drawing book with line
Sewing lace on widows’ weeds
And filigree on leaf and vine
Vine and leaf are filigree
And her coat’s a secondhand one
Trimmed with antique luxury
She is a lady of the canyon
Annie sits you down to eat
She always makes you welcome in
Cats and babies ’round her feet
And all are fat and none are thin
None are thin and all are fat
She may bake some brownies today
Saying, you are welcome back
She is another canyon lady
Estrella circus girl
Comes wrapped in songs and gypsy shawls
Songs like tiny hammers hurled
At beveled mirrors in empty halls
Empty halls and beveled mirrors
Sailing seas and climbing banyans
Come out for a visit here
To be a lady of the canyon
Trina takes her paints and her threads
And she weaves a pattern all her own
Annie bakes her cakes and her breads
And she gathers flowers for her home
For her home she gathers flowers
And estrella, dear companion
Colors up the sunshine hours
Pouring music down the canyon-
Coloring the sunshine hours
They are the ladies of the canyon
Trina wears her wampum beads
She fills her drawing book with line
Sewing lace on widows’ weeds
And filigree on leaf and vine
Vine and leaf are filigree
And her coat’s a secondhand one
Trimmed with antique luxury
She is a lady of the canyon
Annie sits you down to eat
She always makes you welcome in
Cats and babies ’round her feet
And all are fat and none are thin
None are thin and all are fat
She may bake some brownies today
Saying, you are welcome back
She is another canyon lady
Estrella circus girl
Comes wrapped in songs and gypsy shawls
Songs like tiny hammers hurled
At beveled mirrors in empty halls
Empty halls and beveled mirrors
Sailing seas and climbing banyans
Come out for a visit here
To be a lady of the canyon
Trina takes her paints and her threads
And she weaves a pattern all her own
Annie bakes her cakes and her breads
And she gathers flowers for her home
For her home she gathers flowers
And estrella, dear companion
Colors up the sunshine hours
Pouring music down the canyon-
Coloring the sunshine hours
They are the ladies of the canyon
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Sigh
I hate when you meet a guy who Seems like the perfect guy, you have a great time together and then he ends up being a dipshit. I wish I was not attracted to younger guys cause well they act like young guys.
I am planning on getting a bottle of wine a box of Ny-Quil and some flexarils.
I am going for that whole "doped up and oblivous" thing until they call and tell me what the hell is happening with my car.... perferably to tell me they have found it, it is fine, and the thief is dead by the side of the road in a pool of blood.
Karma is all good and well but I want vengence damn it
I am planning on getting a bottle of wine a box of Ny-Quil and some flexarils.
I am going for that whole "doped up and oblivous" thing until they call and tell me what the hell is happening with my car.... perferably to tell me they have found it, it is fine, and the thief is dead by the side of the road in a pool of blood.
Karma is all good and well but I want vengence damn it
Dude, wheres my car??
My car got stolen last night!!!!!!
Who the fuck would steal a minivan with no back seat and a ton of bumper stickers??
I was downtown last night on bar row and I was hanging out at the balcony with a bunch of my friends and flirting my ass off with this cute little Zoomie (air force guy) and we decided to get together afterwards and go out. So I go off to get my car while he goes off to get his and we are going to meet in front of the club.
I walk down the street and see my car is missing (FREAK OUT TIME)
I finally tracked down a couple of police officers and started to make my report, of course I don't have my licence plate remembered or my vin munber written down in my wallet so they tried to look it up on the data base which then claimed I had no car. I had to call my grandmother at 1:20 am and ask her to look up my insurance papers at her house, all she could find was the VIN number but that let them find the info.
I will tell you this if you aretalking to a couple of cops as the bars start to let out don't pick the good looking ones.
I was there trying to report this and these girls kept coming up and getting in the middle of it and hitting on them as I am going insane and about to kill someone.
I did manage to get the report done and walk back to the bar where thankfully Zoomie was waiting for me so I did get a ride home.
Now I am going to have to get my door locks changed since the keys were with the spare set I was planning to take to my grandmas but kept forgetting in the visor, yes I do know I am stupid as a brick for doing that, but who would steal a damn minivan??
Who the fuck would steal a minivan with no back seat and a ton of bumper stickers??
I was downtown last night on bar row and I was hanging out at the balcony with a bunch of my friends and flirting my ass off with this cute little Zoomie (air force guy) and we decided to get together afterwards and go out. So I go off to get my car while he goes off to get his and we are going to meet in front of the club.
I walk down the street and see my car is missing (FREAK OUT TIME)
I finally tracked down a couple of police officers and started to make my report, of course I don't have my licence plate remembered or my vin munber written down in my wallet so they tried to look it up on the data base which then claimed I had no car. I had to call my grandmother at 1:20 am and ask her to look up my insurance papers at her house, all she could find was the VIN number but that let them find the info.
I will tell you this if you aretalking to a couple of cops as the bars start to let out don't pick the good looking ones.
I was there trying to report this and these girls kept coming up and getting in the middle of it and hitting on them as I am going insane and about to kill someone.
I did manage to get the report done and walk back to the bar where thankfully Zoomie was waiting for me so I did get a ride home.
Now I am going to have to get my door locks changed since the keys were with the spare set I was planning to take to my grandmas but kept forgetting in the visor, yes I do know I am stupid as a brick for doing that, but who would steal a damn minivan??
