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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Pocketful of Miracles 

Current mood: silly

Well my doctor finally approved some vicodin, yeah 10 whole 5 Mg pills wooo hoo
I get so tired of her acting like I am a druggy looking for a hit. Anyway it should be enough to let me get some shopping done tomorrow and I will save the rest for when my grandma needs me to run errands for her.
I am such a dork, I am sitting here watching an old Bette Davis movie called Pocketful of Miracles (again), about old apple Annie and the gangsters trying to fool her daughter into thinking she is a society dame. And I am laughing my ass off, it is either the vicodin or the movie or I am just a geek.
I am so going to watch Bette Davis Movies all night long, got to love TMC

Currently watching:
Pocketful of Miracles
Release date: By 18 September, 2001

Grandpa is coming home and I have to get my act together 

Current mood: drained

Grandpa is coming home tomorrow, and the drs say if he keeps getting dialysis 3 days a week he might survive, only problem is it wears him out, makes him cranky and disorients him. My grandma is so tired and she is going to be his primary caregiver, my mom and aunt and cousin all have experience working with the sick and they will help out but I have a feeling my grandmother is going to frazzeled.

I hate that I am no help, with whatever is wrong with my knee not getting better and it causing me to have flair ups in my other knee I am no use to them, I cant help move him since I am walking with a cane now to keep my own balance. I can shop for my grandma but the fact is it is hard enough to shop for me right now and my car has no backseat so I cant drive them anywhere. I feel useless.
I am so burned out with the pain, I am use to pain but this is PAIN, worse I cant get comfortable at night, I cant seem to stay asleep and my dr wont give me any vicodin and the stuff I have just doesnt work. I went to physical therapy today, I walked for 30 minutes, I am no longer walking sideways and until my balance comes back I am not walking backwards. I did do all my stretching and soaked in the hot tub a good long time but while it felt good while I was doing it my legs still hurt like hell.
I have to get dead serious about loosing weight, I am almost to the point of doing Atkins or south beach but the fact is I really dont like meat all that much, I mostly eat it out of habit and the fact that it is convenient since most meals I eat out have it. At home I am just as likely to eat a peanut butter or cheese sandwich or make rice or pasta instead of cooking up some meat, when I do cook it half the time I dont even bother with a side dish. It is hard to stand in the kitchen and cook when you feel like you are going to fall over all the time.
I am going to have to stock up on frozen vegetables and do what my grandma does and make soups with them, I found a no MSG broth I can use and I can always pre cook some meat and shred and freeze it to add to the soup. I also have to cut back on buying bread, it is just too easy to make a couple of sandwiches when I get bored and want something to eat. I am sick of sugar-free yogurt, but I found out if I buy skim milk and sugar-free pudding it gives me a much bigger serving for the same calories as regular yogurt. My grandma has always helped me out financially, usually with gas money, but things are going to be a ton tighter since she has to pay off some stuff like her car as quickly as she can. I have to really crack down and try to make my money go as far as it will, this means not eating out at restaurants much, trying to make my gas go as far as it can and stocking up on groceries when they are on sale. I should give up cable but hell if I am not going out much anymore due to money and pain I need something to entertain me, same with the DSL.
I just have to make a bigger effort to be a grown up and control myself, my money and my wants.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

OH MAN I HURT 

Current mood: sore

I pulled something, twisted something or strained something in right calf near my knee, I dont even know for sure how I did it I just know it is so bad I am barely able to walk sometimes and I am using my cane. It is either getting better slowly or I am getting use to it because I am doing better with walking today but it still hurts so bad I think I am going to faint sometimes. Anyway I will get back to blogging when I can think clearly again.

Currently reading:
Remember When
By Nora Roberts
Release date: By 27 April, 2004

Thursday, May 25, 2006

walk half a mile in my shoes (wait I dont wear shoes in the pool) 

Current mood: awake Monday I had woke up hurting in my right leg so bad I almost did not go to therapy but I cant miss anymore of it. I figured out if I do all 15 laps of the pool I am walking over half a mile (25 yard pool times 30 = 2250 feet) I have been walking sideways for a third of that time but I find it hurts worse on my knee so I think I am going to just add laps going forward.
I went over to visit grandma and grandpa in the hospital, he was looking more aware and more together and he went walking but the dialysis wears him out so bad the dr said they would only be able to do it a few more times. My uncle and my grandmother and I went to the cafeteria for lunch and to talk about stuff. I really miss spending time with my grandmother, we are best friends and it is hard not being able to go out with her and visit the way we use to.
I will say one thing for St. ALs they have an amazing gourmet cafeteria that is really cheap.
I picked up Nadia and made the mistake of taking her a big slurped, hell I made the mistake of giving myself a big slurped. She was so manic all night it became a battle to get her to bed, it didnt help that she had ice cream when we got to the house. When it was bed time I laid down with her and she told me some wild stories.
Marissa was going to get off work a few hours early so she asked if I could stay around so we could play Vampire slayer which was fun. It is hilarious when we play because we get so into character and I get a bit odd. My character is a goth teen witch who acts like a ditz but is not. She talks really fast and tends to get mixed up easily. It is a fun character to play.
I am also playing a Pilot in the space western game SERENITY. I have been making a detailed past for her and her family just cause I have been at loose ends and a little bored.
Anyway when I got home last night I hurt like hell and could not find parking in my lot, as I have said before I am sure a lot of the people are illegally parked but the complex doesnt seem to care so there is nothing I can do. Even though I had to walk across the back lawn to get home it was worth it to be able to play with Jeff and Marissa.

This morning I get a call at 7:30 from my mom asking if I want to go to breakfast and telling me she will be there right after 8 (it is way after 8 now) and so I am up and typing this to have something to do, that and looking up Chinese names for my pilot. I get way too into roll playing (I have no life.SOB)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Not a lot of blogability going on 

Current mood: sad

This weekend was pretty mellow, Sunday I babysat Nadia from 8:30 to 3:30 and we had a pretty good time. Yet again I did not go to Industria, I really miss it but I just cant skip anymore physical therapy appointments. And yes I did make the one on Monday morning, what sucks is I am going to have to get up even earlier since all the schools are doing end of year field trips there and it is hard to get anything done with 50 to 100 screaming splashing kids around and they usually show up around 9:30.
Monday I picked up Nadia and we went by the Library and my Grandmothers house. Nadia had written my grandma a card telling her she hoped my grandfather gets better so we took it over and put it on the door and picked some flowers in the backyard. We then went to the park where she played for a while until the rain chased us away, today we went again and the weather was perfect.
Nadia checked out a Little Mermaid video and we watched it while her dad and I got ready for the game. We have decided to switch Back to Serenity, it seems we are always starting games and never getting very far in them. We gave up Star Wars for Serenity, Serenity for Ravenloft and Ravenloft for Forgotten realms and now back to Serenity. I told Jeff I didnt care so much what we play I just want to find a game we can stick with for a while. Serenity is a rules lite game meaning there is not a lot of rules and you dont need to role for everything, it is much more drama driven then many fantasy games we have played.
I went to see Grandma in the hospital, I am use to visiting with her 3 or 4 days a week and this last two months I have hardly seen her. Grandma has been spending almost all day everyday at the hospital with my grandfather who is really sick, it is scary to see how he looks. Today they did dialysis and yesterday they drained over a gallon of fluid form his stomach. He just doesnt seem to be getting much better but he does seem to be holding on. I am so sad for both of them, grandma is so upset and grandpa is so out of it. I know if he doesnt make it she will be crushed, I dont think I ever want to love anyone that much.

Currently reading:
Remember When
By Nora Roberts
Release date: By 27 April, 2004

Friday, May 19, 2006

A hellish Thursday 

Current mood: sick

First I got up early to have breakfast with my mom and go see my grandfather at the hospital, he had his gallbladder out and is having a hard time of it.
Mom and I went to The Sunshine Restaurant at the Ramada Inn near St. Als hospital, as usual I couldnt find any breakfast food I wanted so I had lunch at 9 a.m. Finger steaks and salad with coffee.
Mom dropped me off at the door and went to park the car and we went up to see my grandpa who was having a bad time of it so we did not stay long since the Dr kicked us and my grandmother out so grandpa could sleep.
Mom and I went downstairs and I pointed out a bench to her and told her I would wait for her there and for her to bring the car around. I then watched my mom drive away.
She pulled out on the Curtis Rd and Drove away.
Let me say it again. . .
SHE DROVE AWAY!
Without ME.
I sat there in the sun thinking at any minute she will realize what she had done and come back and get me. It was only about 10:30 but it was already way over 90* and I was sweating to death and starting to feel ill. Almost all of the meds I take say dont allow yourself to get exposed to heat and sunlight but I was afraid to go back in the building in case she came and got me. Finally after 30 minutes I went inside and found a phone and called her and my grandmothers answering machine then went and sat in the solarium so I could see the driveway for another 10 minutes before calling grandma again.
Grandma answered and said that my mom had just walked in a few minutes earlier and that grandma had asked her where is TRina?
My mom slapped her head and headed out the door.
So I went to stand in front of the building and wait and who do I run into but my Uncle Steve, I told him what had happened and he offered to take me to my car to scare my mom but I told him if I was there when she showed up I could tease her about it. So right after he left mom showed up and we went to Wal-Mart.
I tried to find one of those go-cart shopping carts but half of them were not working and the other half were checked out so I lost track of mom again. After I found her we went shopping and I got cheese, rice and coffee as well as I poweraide I drank while we shopped, I was so hot, I just couldnt seem to cool down.
On the way home we stopped by my house and I gave her the wreath I made for her and we stopped at Fred Meyers and she dropped me off again to buy a mini watermelon while she went to the garden shop at the other end of the store. So there I was again waiting for 10 minutes in the blazing sun holding 7 pounds of fruit and wondering if I was going to faint. I had started to feel ill and just wanted to get home.
Finally she dropped me off at my car, I went by grandmas to drop off some flowers we had bought her I headed home and scrubbed every inch of my body in a cool shower and went to lay down with *A* who had come over to visit. I took a muscle relaxant and fell asleep around 2.
By 4 I kept waking up feeling sick to my tummy and tasting acid in my mouth, I thought it might be acid reflux from the meds but I kept falling asleep. Then at 6 I woke up sick as a dog eating grass, I had to run to the bathroom and after that I spent half the night throwing up and being ill. I think it was food poisoning due to the fingersteaks since it was the only food I had eaten that day.
I wanted to go to Physical therapy I even got up for it but since I was still being ill every few minutes I had to pass on it and go back to bed.
I slept til 10 and have not been ill since then, but it was a hellish night and I am really dehydrated and tired and I have to pick up Nadia in a couple of hours.

blogability 


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Diets, Peter Pan, Magic 

Current mood: worried

I slept through physical therapy, I was so exhausted, I got up and got dressed and then fell asleep in the chair I was sitting in. I decided it was too dangerous for me to drive and maybe I should sleep another half hour because I was going to be early for the therapy and then I woke up too late to go at all.
I am going to TRY to get at least an hour in Tuesday before my counseling session,
I went to see my Drs Nurse Practioner this afternoon about my neck and my problems sleeping which are largely due to my pain but also because I take a lot of naps with *A* when he is over. She is ordering physical therapy and an X-Ray for my neck, if there is nothing wrong with the bones they can at least do some massage that may loosen it up since it gets so very tight. She also prescribed some sleep meds and some muscle relaxants (like 20 total of each) to help me when it gets desperate. I usually only take one anyway so it is not really a problem, they should last me 3 months at least.
I am finally getting desperate about my not being able to loose weight, last night I bought and ate a pint of ice cream, it may not sound like much but earlier in the day I had eaten a dip cone at DQ. Ever since I found out I can eat dairy again I have been eating way too much ice cream. Now if I could just stop with the damn ice cream, I keep hoping I will get bored with the novelty of it and just slow way down, when I first started eating yogurt I was eating 2 or 3 a day, I finally slowed down on that, only eating about one every day or so and lite ones at that. I figure cheese is not really a problem and I have never been into drinking milk by itself. I need to freeze the half gallon of milk I have in small batches so I can use it to cook, I could not even drink it in 3 weeks.
Anyway as I said I am getting desperate and I asked the NP to refer me to a diet Dr. or dietitian, I should hear from them in the next day or so. I wish there was a drug other then Topamax that would make me have more control over my appetite. Not only did the Topamax make me feel ditzy and cause me to loose my temper but it was such a strong dietetic and I take so many meds that are hard on the liver and kidneys that I worried about it a lot. I dont know if a dietitian can do anything, I dont know if anything will help me but I know that if I dont get it under control and loose some weight I will be in a wheelchair in a year.
Today, probably because I missed physical therapy and because I sat at a picnic table of 2 hours while Nadia played in the park, I hurt so bad I could barely make it up the stairs at Jeffs place. We ended up not playing Forgotten Realms tonight because a few of the group had things they had to do. Nadia, Jeff and I (and eventually Adrian) watched the live action Peter Pan from 2004, wow what a great movie, very deep, makes me want to read the books and see how it compares.
Jeff, Adrian and I played Magic and Adrian beat me by one point, oh well. And of course, yet again, I had to park around the block because the lot was full in front of my place. Talk about annoying especially since I am sure at least some of those cars do not have parking stickers on them and should be towed. I hate that I cant even drive to the freaking store at night for 20 minutes without coming back to find there are no parking spots.
By the way it was 93* today, thankfully my house is pretty cool tonight so I dont have to run the AC unit, I am putting that off as long as I can and will see how long I can go with just the fan when it gets hot. I am behind on my electric bill still and I am hoping if I can have one or two months of lower bills I can get caught up then go back on even pay.
Man I hate being broke.



PETER PAN 2004
Peter: Discipline. That's what fathers believe in. We must spank the children immediately before they try to kill you again. In fact, we should kill them.
Wendy: Father. I agree that they are... perfectly horrid, but... kill them and they should think themselves... important.
The Lost Boys: So important, Peter.
Curly: And unique.
Wendy: I, propose something far more dreadful. Medicine. The sticky, sweet kind.
The Lost Boys: Kill us, Peter.

Currently watching:
Peter Pan (Widescreen Edition)
Release date: By 04 May, 2004

Sunday, May 14, 2006

No Picnic 

Well I should learn to never post my future plans here, it always seems to jinx them.
I said yesterday we would be having a picnic at my grandmas and I needed to buy melons. So I get *A* up and get him to go with me, we stop at the store and I spend way too much on melons and we head over to my grandmothers.
No one is there.
I call my moms house to see if we were suppose to meet there and my step tells me that my grandfather is in the hospital getting his gallbladder out and everything is of course cancelled. Of course he cant just be having his gallbladder out, he has kidney disease and the infection in the gallbladder has made it worse so they have to stabilize that before they can operate.
My poor grandmother. She only just got her cousin Buster out of the hospital with a bad heart and a kidney infection (that took 3 weeks) and she had to stay over at his house a lot so she did not realize how sick my grandfather is and of course being a guy he never let her know how bad it was. Of course 2 days ago I was telling her to take him to the hospital even if she had to pull a big guilt trip on him. No one ever listens to me.
Anyway, *A* and I just stayed home, ate the mini watermelon I bought and relaxed. I am not going out to Industria tonight I hurt too bad and have physical therapy in the morning.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Movies and Munching 

Current mood: good

Friday *A* and Danielle and I went to see V for Vendetta at the cheapy theater, $3.50 and you get a $3 food ticket, I got a 20oz drink and a small bag of caramel popcorn.
Wow what an amazing movie, very deep, now I want to read the graphic novel it is based on.
I love cheap theaters there is just no way I can see a lot of these movies at $7 and $8 a shot. About the only time I go to the full price theater is when there is a movie with a lot of special effects I want to see on the giant screen, I will go to see X-Man 3 at the huge screen at Edwards 21.
It was funny cause the movie was at 9:35 and *A* did not get back until 8:55 so I asked him if he wanted to go and then messaged D and told her to get ready we would be there in around 15 minutes, so we raced out and got her then raced to the theater and got into our seats about 2 minutes into the movie, not bad.
This morning we woke up around 9 and I asked *A* if he wanted to go to breakfast and we were laying there talking about it when Danielle called and asked if we wanted to go to breakfast with her. I told her sure as long as we went to Chefs Hut since I could only afford a $3 breakfast with a $.90 cup of coffee. Again we went over and picked her up and went to breakfast, it was good but we had to wait forever to get our food, but it is hard to complain when you eat all you can with coffee for $3.90.
My mom called and asked if I wanted to go to a late lunch with her and my grandmas cousin Buster who is recovering from having a kidney abscess that almost killed him (actually it did kill him but they brought him back on the table) the poor guy is having to learn to do everything over again like climbing steps and making breakfast and this was his first time out really. We went to a Chinese place near his house and mom and I visited while the 3 of us ate.
She told me we are having a picnic at grandmas house for mother days so I will give her her wreath then (from Beltane) I also have to go by the store and get a couple of cantaloupes.
Other then that *A* and I just hung around the house relaxing and when he went to work I watched The Princess Bride. I have read the abridged book which would have been so much better without all the personal comments of Goldman, they really tear you away from the work.

Currently watching:
The Princess Bride
Release date: By 18 July, 2000

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

As usual I have no Idea what the future holds 

Current mood: distressed

I had physical therapy this morning but last night I had read all of Eleven On Top and was up til at least 4 AM, only problem is I had to be awake by 8:30. I was tempted to go in later but I was having lunch with Danielle who works near the West Boise Y so I figured if I wanted to do anything I would have to get there by 9:30. At best it is a 20 minute drive there, at worst it is about 30.
I worked out but I swear I nearly fell asleep walking in the pool. I managed to get all my workout done, get showered and dressed and over to Ds work by 11:15. We went to a Chinese place that was near her place and had super quick service so we managed to have lunch and get her back to work in half an hour.
I went to pick up Nadia and we went to the park again, I was so tired I just wanted to crawl in the back of the car and sleep. After Jeff called (he gave me his cell phone so I would know when he was off) I went and picked him up. Yesterday I told him I would pick him up in back of his work and Nadia had to use the bathroom so I let her off in the front of the building and went around back. When Jeff asked where is Nadia? I said DAMN I knew I forgot something at the park.
I thought he was going to have a heart attack but I could not keep from laughing more then a second or two then told him where she was and we went and got her. I am so mean.

FUCKING 7-11
Anyway today we stopped by the store and I dropped them off and realized when I was about 2/3rds of the way home that I had Jeffs phone still, so I had to turn around and take it back to him. After that I decided to use my 7-11 card and get a slurpee. A few days ago my mom added $30 to the $50 I already had, there should have been $80.56 on my card but when they rang it up the $30 had not shown up. I went by the 7-11 I actually filled it at but the guy told me I would have to come back first thing in the morning to talk to the manager. Chances are those fuckers will screw me out of $30 I can NOT afford, I have less then $50 in cash left for the month, though I do have $49 on my gas card and enough groceries to make it through the month. I just have to get serious about not spending useless money. Between utilities and gasoline all going up so much I just dont have any extra money by the middle of each month.
Oh yeah and on top of that there is something wrong with my insurance so I have to get the paperwork from my grandmother and call them up and see what is going on. Right now I dont even know if I am covered for the medicine that makes it possible for me to function or whether they are going to cut me loose.

PHOTOS OR NOT
Sometimes I wish I had given in years ago and started doing a paysite online when everyone told me I should, but there are also times I am glad I didnt. I have not felt like taking pictures in a year, since my knees messed up so bad. I know I could take the pics, people ask me for them all the time and want to know when I will add more. But the fact is I have no idea.
I have not been motivated to take any in a long time, longer then a year actually, I took the ones last May just cause I had a chance to use a swimming pool and hotel room. I have been trying to figure out why I feel like this.
I think I use to do the photos to help my self esteem, I dont know if it is just that I dont need the boost anymore or if posting photos just doesnt give me the boost I do need. Part of it I do know, I dont feel sexy the way I use to, I know in my mind I look the same as I use to, I know I can dress up sexy, but I just dont feel it.
It is hard to feel sexy, alluring and sensual looking when you hurt all the time, I feel like it is aging me and that it is starting to show on my photos, I dont feel like I look as good as I use to. I also dont have the energy I use to have, taking a large set of photos is tiring and taking a small set is not really worth the effort. I dont know what is wrong with me but the truth is I dont know if I will ever add another set of photos to my website or not. The fact is if it werent for my Blog and a place to host pics for it I would probably have let the website go in March when the payment came due.
Anyway I just dont know what the future holds for me or my site.

Currently listening:
Becoming X
By Sneaker Pimps
Release date: By 25 February, 1997

Monday, May 08, 2006

Sunday Drive 

Current mood: tired

*A* came over early Sunday morning and we slept until noon then went out for coffee and biscuits and gravy at Merritts. We both ordered the 2 biscuit plate and just that made us both totally full.
Even though it was raining we decided to drive up to the reservoir and look at the wild flowers blooming there, we saw tons of lupine, camus and arrowroot flowers and others we could not name. The thing about the desert is the flowers can be dormant for years waiting for a wet spring like the one we have had and then they all bloom at once. To me the flowers seem all the more amazing being wild in a place where they are rare, pretty much any flower can grow in a garden but desert wildflowers are special.
When we came back I put 10 gallons in my tank and paid nearly $30. The drive today probably cost $5 (*A* bought breakfast) but all the driving out to far west Boise for Physical therapy and stuff is costing me an arm and a leg. Sadly the downtown Y just doesnt have the same facilities as far as the pool goes.
I had thought Jeff was celebrating his birthday by going out Sunday night so I told my therapist I would not be in Monday (but they went out Friday instead) so I decided to go to Industria anyway.
I got a call around 8 from Marissa whose car had broken down yet again (twice in one week) she asked if I could take Danielle home, so I got her and then came back downtown to go to the club. It has gotten so slow at the club on Sundays lately but I still had a good time. *T* was there and we flirted and kissed a little while he played pool. He was going to come over to my place after dropping off a friend but called and told me the headache he had mentioned earlier was worse and would I give him a rain check for next week. Oh well blow out the candles and turn on the lights. Anyway it is just as well I am half asleep.
I know it seems weird to people who hear me talk about spending so much time with *A* that I also play around with *T* but it really isnt. *A* and I have a very mellow and open relationship, sort of a Non-relationship relationship. We are best friends, we are lovers, we laugh and joke and have a great time but neither of us are in love and that is just what I need right now. I am not looking for more lovers, one regular one and one occasional one is all I want, they are both good friends and I enjoy being with them. I never want to go back to fooling around with people I dont know (I did that for a while and it just made me feel empty and used) I also dont want to fall in love, for me that is always so painful, even with the meds for the borderline I think it would be miserable to go through the obsession I feel when I am in love. What I have is perfect for me at this time.

I may end up going to physical therapy Monday anyway or going on Tuesday before my counseling appointment with Annie. I enjoy therapy I just wish it was closer.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Congratulations Brandy and Tom 

Current mood: cheerful

Well Brandys wedding went perfectly.
The weather was great, warm without being too hot, sunny with just enough high thin cloud cover to keep the bevy of pale black-clad Goth girls from melting and breezy without being windy.
Brandy and Tom got married at Katharine Albertsons Park by the water with a fountain in the background. It was funny because there was another wedding in a different part of the park and we couldnt have been more different if we tried.
That bride wore a big white dress and all her guests were dressed up in spring fashion. Brandy wore an amazing black velvet and purple dress with purple ribbons in her hair and Tom wore black strap pants with a white pirate shirt and the black doublet I took in for him. She carried a bouquet of lilacs and they had a hand-fasting ceremony lead by Elton. Half the people watching were wearing black and all of Toms family were in normal classic spring type clothes, you could definitely tell who was who.
*A* went with me (he showed up last night 20 minutes after I posted) and it was nice to have someone there for me even though I knew at least half the people there, all the ones in black anyway, it was nice to not be alone. He brought me a couple little flowers and put them in my hair, talk about a sweetie. We all drove up to Brandy and Toms house for the pot luck reception and my Sweet and sour twice cooked pork was a hit, I also took two boxes of fortune cookies which everyone had fun with.
Everyone had a wonderful time, no one got drunk and everyone had plenty of food to eat and the weather was wonderful, which lets be honest is my definition of a successful party.
We left around 4 since *A* had to get some sleep before work and since I had had to take a vicodin before going since I was not sure if I would end up walking all over the place or standing for long and I was starting to fade out.

I am pretty sure I am never going to get married, I might someday have a hand-fasting ceremony though I will never legally marry anyone. I can honestly say that, other then the fact that I would want the ceremony and reception to be in my grandmothers backyard, I would want any ceremony I had to go as well as Brandys.
I just never see myself finding anyone who would want to spend forever with me and I see no reason to go through even a hand-fasting without documentation if it is not likely to be forever.
I just dont see myself as a forever type of girl.

Currently reading:
Dumping Billy
By Olivia Goldsmith
Release date: By 12 May, 2004

There is a reason they call it ToKillYa 

Current mood: drunk

I was pretty bored today after *A* went to visit his family so I called Danielle and offered to pick her up at her work which is right near the Y I go to for physical therapy so you know it is far away and it was rush hour. I thought it took a long time to get there at 9am . damn 4:30 is a ton worse.
We decided to get some pizza and go to her house, I supplied a 2 for 1 coupon and Danielle bought the pizza which works great cause she has food for a couple of days and I only wanted 3 slices anyway. Around 8pm we finally got a hold of Jeff and agreed to go get some tequila and come over to their house. We found a liquor store that was open and tried to make up our minds about what to buy and ended up having to call Jeff to decide that we would really get Tequila even if we had to get the cheap stuff. What the hell, it is Cinco de Mayo and we are a bunch of fucking gringos looking for an excuse to get drunk. Which I did though it did not hit me til I got home and started cooking, it is sad but these days 3 shots makes me drowsy and a bit dizzy. I am probably going to be sick as a dog from caffeine and tequila in the morning, more from the caffeine probably.
I was already so wired on energy drinks and coffee it is a miracle I could sit still, I was being such a nut in the car I had Danielle laughing her ass off. We stopped at WINCO and I bought two WIREDS, by this point I had already had one big BOOKOO one WIRED triple X and 5 cups of coffee. I ended up putting two shots of Tequila in one of the WIRED cans and drinking that, only problem is instead of hyping me up it caused me to crash and get really sleepy, I think it was from all the sugar in those drinks crashing out. I dont know how it can possibly be but I am actually tired.
They decided to go to the Balcony and meet some of our friends but I wimped out, not only am I sleepy I really hurt. I must have gotten off the bed wrong or possibly over did my exercises but my left knee is killing me, though it did not start till later in the afternoon so I think it maybe just moving it wrong. And of course there is the matter of a covercharge and parking fees, after spending money on lunch, drinks and tequila I just couldnt do it, and I have to cook the pork for tomorrow. God I am a wimp.
I thought about going but felt bad cause *A* was suppose to be at my house waiting for me tonight so we called here about 4 times to try to get him to answer the phone. Marissa, Danielle and Jeff all yelled and talked silly into the answering machine (I have one of those ones that you hear the message going on as they leave it) I figured he was asleep and ignoring the phone but it ends up when I got here he had just flaked out and stayed in Emmett. Considering how tired he was this afternoon I am sure he fell asleep there.
Anyway I have the meat in the oven (I forgot to thaw it so I need to cook it on low for a long while before dicing it and recooking it in sauce) and I am going to set the alarm and go to bed for a few hours IF I can sleep at all.

Currently watching:
The Big Lebowski
Release date: By 05 November, 2002

Friday, May 05, 2006

Cinco De Mayo 

Current mood: energetic

I havent posted much this week I know, not a lot has been going on, mostly first of the month bill paying and grocery buying. *A* and I did go out to dinner since I owed him for buying me a couple of meals and I had a 2 for 1 coupon to a Thai place near my house. They had tables set up outside and I talked him into sitting out there with me, it was about 7 PM sunny and nice out. Only problem is while we were sitting there it probably got about 10* colder and windy. He was so sweet about it and the food was great.
I bought a few new plants and a planter for my computer room and a new one for the kitchen. I also found a couple of really great Buddha statues at the dollar store of all places. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow and I am making sweet and sour pork and fried rice so I went to the dollar store and bought a couple of those Styrofoam tortilla holders to put the food in, that way if I get worn out and have to leave early I can leave the food and not worry about the dishes.
I am going to double cook the pork, slow cook it tonight with pineapple juice and some soy sauce and then tomorrow morning I will dice it and cook it with the sweet and sour mix and vegetables right before going to the wedding. It should come out great.

Today I went to my third physical therapy session which was great except one of the Jr High Schools was having a field trip and there had to be an extra 100 kids around all jumping in the pool and being noisy as hell.
I am now up to walking 15 laps of the pool, 5 each forward, sideways and backward as well as doing 30 minutes of different exercises and 10 minutes of bike riding (pedaling in the water while sitting on a float). The water is amazing, very warm and buoyant so it reduces the stress on my knees but it also offers resistance when I walk in it so I get a good workout.


Currently listening:
Press the Eject and Give Me the Tape
By Bauhaus
Release date: By 27 June, 1995

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

May Day 

Current mood: awake Monday morning was my first Physical Therapy session, well to be honest it was Suppose to be my second but I missed the first on Friday.
I woke up at 9:15 and thought I had plenty of time to get to the west Boise Y but it ends up not so much.
I had gone to bed around midnight and still I was exhausted, my pain makes it so hard to get deeply asleep. I was so tired and kind of hungry since I really had not had anything the day before other then a few crackers and a cup of yogurt in the morning so I decided to stop by Albertson on the way, I thought I would have plenty of time but it took a hell of a lot longer to drive way the hell out past Cloverdale and Chinden, this is going to end up costing me a lot in gas having to go out there 3 times a week. Anyway I ended up being 15 mins late. I will have to get up at 9 from now on and try to get out there at 9:30 to do my laps before the session.
The session is easy enough but it is in warm water which feels good but makes you sleepy and I hurt so badly before it that I was barely able to walk from the parking. Thankfully by the time I had done the exercises and soaked in the hot tub for 10 mins I was loosened up and my pain meds had hit.
I wanted to go to lunch since I was payday but no one was available and I did not want to go alone, by the time I called everyone I ended up falling asleep and having to set my alarm to go pick up Nadia from school so I got a 2 hour nap.
Nadia and I went to the park behind Jeffs place after picking up a carton of Strawberries which Nadia informed me were haunted, mind you she ate them anyway. So we sat in the van and ate haunted strawberries and worked on her vocabulary homework waiting for Jeff to get off work. We then talked him into going to Veterans Park for Nadia to get to play with other kids for half an hour. I kind of wish I had taken them home since Danielle called and said she and a friend had missed the bus and would I give them a ride Jeff asked if I could take them home first but I was already half way to where Danielle was (which just happened to be blacks from the west Y and all the way across town)
We ended up driving all the way to south Boise to drop off Danielle after dropping her friend off at the mall. We stopped at Albertsons and I bought a bouquet of small dark pink roses and a thing of ribbon to make Nadia a
May Day wreath.
We headed back to Jeffs finally and decided to stop at WINCO to get something for dinner. I went a little nuts and bought a bunch of Sushi that was on sale and a pack of tacitos, I still think I was overcharged for everything even after they took the coupons off of the sushi but it made a pretty good dinner, I really should have just bought the Sushi but oh well I did not go out anywhere so I guess I could afford a tiny splurge. I had already bought $3 worth of snack mix for the party so altogether I spent about $20 on food Monday, I have to watch that because added to the gas from going to the end of West Boise twice I spent a lot of money I just shouldnt. I have a tiny amount of spending money but not much this month since the price of gas is skyrocketing.
We had a great game even though we only got to play for about an hour and a half since Nadia would just not go to sleep on time and since Jeff had not had time to look up stats ahead of time. We did get to battle a medium size dragon and ogres, always fun.
I am so glad we are back to playing the game but next week I will have to get Nadia over to Veterans to play to wear her out a little and try to get Jeff home in time to work on the game before everyone gets there.
Oh yeah the reason I am awake by 4:30 AM is because I was so tried I had 2 huge energy drinks and my metablism is so slow they did not hit hard for over 12 hours, I am going to try to get to sleep since I have a counciling appointment this morning and I would like to be awake for once when I talk to her.

Beltane Baby 

Current mood: mellow

Sunday was Beltane.
I went over to Brandy Angelas to pin her fiance tom into his doublet for their wedding, they had order it his size and it came at least 2 sizes too large so I agreed to take it in for them. I couldnt find stick pins so there I was with a packet of sewing needles.
Bella was having a Beltane party at her house so we went over there, I feel bad because I did not realize it was sort of potluck or I would have figured out something like pasta salad to make . . . . being dead broke the last day of the month.
Bella had a maypole set up and piles of grape vines and fake flowers to make wreaths pf flowers to wear on hair. I made a really beautiful one and will have to give it to my Mom for Mothers Day to hang it on her door.
We laughed and had a great time making them, Tomas and Brandy were there as well as Bellas son Z and her sweetie Matt, Brooke and Sherry and her friend whose name I can never remember as well as Cheryl (Elton was minding their shop,
Something Wicked) Benhi was there with her camera and her sweetie Jason came by for about 20 mins.
I wish I had taken my camera but wouldnt you know I would forget it. I take it with me to stupid things when I know I will not want my picture taken and when something cool happens and I have my hair done and am dressed nice I forget it.
I had forgotten to take my meds and pain relievers that morning so I was really feeling my knees acting up. I could not do the Maypole dance but I got to take pictures with Benhis camera.
Finally the party pretty much faded out so I stopped by Grandmas on the way home and sewed up Tomass doublet and visited with her then headed to the bookstore by my house. I stopped by the house to see if *A*s car was here but when I saw it wasnt I just decided to go on to the bookstore and figure I would see him later in the week, ends up he did come by while I was gone and took a nap (which is cool since his roommates children are at his house on weekends I let him come over to nap here before he works at night) I hung out there most of the afternoon reading and finished a really silly but kind of fun book called
What do you say to a Naked Elf? Sometimes I just like to read silly ass stuff.
Anyway by the time I got home I realized I had still not taken any pain meds like a twit and I hurt so bad, I finally took some and laid down to sleep but it took forever.
I really wish I could get more involved with the Wicca thing but I just dont have a religious bone in my body, faith is not a big thing with me I guess whether christian or Wiccan I just can not get deeply into anything spiritual. I really feel like this is a failing in me, I cant even NOT believe in anything enough to be an Atheist, I guess I am a pretty good definition of a true agnostic, I believe in something I just dont know what.