Standing on the Borderline ~ T'Rina / MsXXL

*A* came by this morning for a few hours to visit and then I had him go because I was babysitting Nadia again, I am so out of gas that I had to get Marissa to bring Nadia over here. We watched TV for a while and Na was Starving and dying of hunger which seems to be the natural condition of a 7 year old as far as I can figure.
The big problem is she is always hungry but she never wants to eat anything good for her, I worry about her since she would willingly eat sweets all day long and still tell you how hungry she is. She only ever takes a half a dozen bites of anything we fix her and then complains 15 minutes later to being hungry but if you offer her the same food she wont touch it. This is hard for me since I dont stock up on snack food or stuff kids like much. I have pretty much been living off of a few chicken tenderloin strips and big handfuls of veggies cooked together in the toaster oven.
I borrowed a little bit of money and we went and picked up Danielle and went to Mikes Restaurant, the only thing Nadia, who had been telling me for over an hour how she was starving to death, would eat was a hotdog, no bun, a small handful of chips and some crackers and 5 minutes after I took Danielle home Nadia was telling me how hungry she was again. It is kind of frustrating when I am trying to not think of food much and she mentions it NONSTOP.
I finally gave in and told her we would hit her dad up for something to eat since it was near time for him to get off of work so we headed over there just as he was getting off work. We headed over to their house and Na and I watched MULAN (my favorite animated Disney movie) and she had Spaghetti and garlic bread while Jeff and I had some sauce to dip the bread in and a piece of grilled salmon. I taught Nadia how to make scullpy beads with the set her mom gave her for her b-day and we made a ton of them and you should have seen me trying to put holes in them using a lollipop stick (they dont exactly sharpen), I cooked them before going and left at Nadias bedtime since she seems to have a harder time sleeping when people are visiting and I am sleepy myself.
I get paid on Friday and I cant wait to fill my tank and put extra money on my 7-11 card so I can actually use my AC unit when it is nearly 100* outside like today.
God I hate being poor.

Currently watching: Mulan (Disney Gold Classic Collection) Release date: By 09 November, 1999

Monday night we finally got back to playing Serenity RPG at Jeffs house after I went out to happy hour with mom at Cafe Ole. It is always nice to spend time with my mom and of course anyone who reads my blog knows I love Happy Hour. Nadia and I watched Hoodwinked before the game, what a funny ass movie.

Tuesday *A* came by at 7 in the morning and I felt bad because I had to send him home when I went to get Nadia at 11 to babysit her since it was just way too hot to spend the entire day in the park again, it got to 100* today.
I stopped by grandmas and got this container of pennies she had so I would have money to do stuff with Na, we went to Albertsons and she helped me use the CoinStar and we ended up with $14. We bought some cookies for the park and went to this little Chinese place and got $5 lunches to go, I had generals chicken and Na had sweet and sour chicken which we ate half of at the playground at Julia Davis and half later at my place. I would have liked to let Nadia play in the park longer then an hour but it was getting to be 2pm and the heat was just horrible. I so bribed the kid to come peacefully with a small shaved ice, I told her she could stand in line for them and buy them since my knee was hurting and standing in line is worse then actually walking. She was so cute she got out a piece of paper and wrote down my flavor (Cream Soda) and the size as if she was taking an order in a cafe.
We had a very mellow afternoon, we just watched TV and as always Nadia just had to take a bath (they dont have a tub and she loves to use my bath oil beads) I finally took her home around 5 after printing off a copy of the Has Christian Anderson version of The Little Mermaid for her which she started to read to me in the car, she is getting really good at sounding out words though she will still make wild guesses that make the story a little odd and it is hard to drive when you want to see what the word is so that you can correct her.
Jeff invited me to dinner (he makes really good spaghetti) and we watched Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom and Nadia and I went through 3 huge garbage bags of all her toys trying to decide which should go to her grandmothers house and which should stay in the big plastic packing box I gave them for a toy box. I know how hard it is for me to sort stuff I would just as soon mess around with so I tried to keep Na on track as much as I could.
We had used the AC unit in my van which makes a god awful screeching noise (the AC belt) so I seldom use it and now I remember the other reason why, I had a quarter of a tank when I left the park downtown by her place (I live not quite 5 miles away) and by the time I drove her home again I had 1/8th of a tank, the AC in my van is a gas hog. I finally gave in and turned the AC on in the house, not bad to make it all the way to the last few days of June before having to use it at all. I just hate knowing it costs so much when I dont really have to use it except in the evening of really hot days. I will spend money on all kinds of silly things but I hate spending it on stuff like that even if it makes me more comfortable. I am such a goose.


HOODWINKED
Nicky Flippers: We don't arrest people for being creepy.
P-Biggie: [into walkie-talkie] Hey, Bruce, you know that guy we have in the tank?
Bruce: [over walkie-talkie] The creepy one?
P-Biggie: Better let him go.

Currently watching: Hoodwinked (Widescreen Edition) Release date: By 02 May, 2006

Here are some of the things I have been doing with the wooden boxes I bought.

Wooden Boxes with Escher and Giger art

Nadias Crayon Box

Currently watching: Hidalgo (Widescreen Edition) Release date: By 03 August, 2004

I slept in a lot today, I just felt so tired so even after *A* came over I just kept sleeping off and on til 4. I got up so he could get some sleep and sat in the front room painting and decopaging the boxes I got last week. I found a bigger box with a heart handle and made Nadia a Crayon box by painting it rainbow and putting little print outs of fairy pictures I found on line on it. I also made Brandy and Tom one of my wooden boxes with a picture from their wedding on it and took it with me to the bar.
There was no Industria tonight due to the Balcony redecorating the place (man are the rumors flying about what they are doing to the place. The words FOUNTAIN are being tossed around a lot)
Tonight a lot of the Industria regulars decided to meet up at Mulligans on Main St since they are open Sunday nights and have a very ALT. Pub attitude, sadly they have pretty much nothing gothy on the juke box.
We all hung out on the patio (the benches are about 6 inches too high but it is nice to have something sturdy to sit on without having to bring out a chair from inside.) Cheryl bought me a couple of drinks which was sweet of her, she is so nice, I need to make her and Elton one of my boxes with a photo of them on it.
We all had a great time sitting around, taking photos, singing weird songs and goofing off.
Tara and Tyler

Adam and Jake

Hope singing to Bohemian Rhapsody

Jay playing at being Emo

Furrie Porn

Sarah

Currently reading: The Big Bamboo : A Novel By Tim Dorsey Release date: By 28 March, 2006

I am still tired from yesterday, who thought sitting in a car for over 5 hours in 90* weather would wipe you out so much?
I had been up late and woke up not feeling very good when *A* came over after work at 7am then I got a call from Marissa at 8:30 asking if I could babysit. I of course said I would. I went and picked her up at 10 and we went to the Big City Café because I was so desperate for caffeine but since I was pretty broke all I could afford was one huge cookie for Nadia and I and a coffee for me and a hot cocoa for her.
I thought of taking the easy way out and taking her to my house but *A* was still asleep there so I figured it would just as easy to go to the park. Nadia had not had anything other then a bit of cookie (she did not like it much) and cocoa so we went to her dads work and hit him up for some money so I could buy us some Wendys and some sunscreen for her as well as giving her a dollar to spend at the dollar store on those little sponge shapes in capsules that you put in water and watch them expand. I also grabbed some dumb book even though I had a really good one since I did not want to waste the newest Tim Dorsey on reading it in the car at the park.
We went to Veterans Park and spent the next four hours and forty minutes hanging out and expanding little Magic Shapes and melting in the sun, which was still better then when I sat on the park bench and got a splinter in my bum.
Finally at 3:40 of so Nadia was hungry again, she is either in a growing phase or she is a bottomless pit, or both, so we headed over to her dads work for something to drink and a cup of soup while we waited for him to get off work. Since it was payday we stopped by his bank and then the record exchange then back to their house. We hung out until 7:30 and then took Nadia up to see her grandma for the night then Jeff and I went to Hastings and Taco Bell and headed back to their place to watch Matrix Revolutions. They decided to go out to the bar but I was just too tired and dehydrated to put up with the Friday night crowds so I headed home and decided to get some sleep around 11.
*A* scared the hell out of me coming back to my place around 11am after fishing all day, I felt bad because he wanted to visit and goof off and I was so damn tired I could barely stand it. I think we are going out to coffee now, yeah my life is soooooooo exciting.

Currently reading: The Big Bamboo : A Novel By Tim Dorsey Rele

I called Brandy-Angela and asked if she wanted to go to a late lunch at chefs hut with me so we headed over around 3 and visited for a while. Brandy is only 2 ½ weeks from her due date, it is going to be odd when her little one is here.
I stopped by Something Wicked and bought a 3 inch knife to keep in the car, there are times when I need to cut things open and I wanted one small enough not to be a concealed weapon. I am hoping to spend about $20 there with the coupon I have for 15% off and get a sword the first of the month since my landlord wrote me a letter saying I have a $117 credit towards my rent so I will be a little ahead this month.
I dont plan to go crazy spending it all on doodads but I figure $20 at Something Wicked and maybe some more material and putting an extra $20 towards gas next month so I dont get to the end and panic. My grandpa is doing quite a bit better so we can move some of his health care stuff out of the house and some of his bedroom furniture back in to his room so I can get back into my grandmas sewing room. I really need some more lightweight clothing for summer, especially in black and dark colors.
I stopped by the dollar store and as I was walking in I was thinking I wish they would ever have those wooden boxes again. and bingo. I bought 12 of them since I can do all kinds of cool crafts with them and I might try selling them at Elton and Cheryls shop and maybe Goddess Fest. I also need to make another Medusa Mirror to take over to there shop, I just have to remember to super glue the whole thing this time.
We had the Thursday night Goth gathering at flying M and a lot of people showed up, I actually got to take quite a few pictures (I will post them tomorrow since I am so tired right now) It went really well and Jeff and Nadia came over, Nadia was really well behaved, she drew Brandy a handful of drawings of demons, spiders, skulls and the like, I dont think Brandy knew what to think about it.
Other then that I have been watching Music Videos and painting the boxes different dark colors, since I was sitting there without anything on I now have managed to get smears of paint all over me, which is why I paint naked because it is easier to get paint off of me then my clothes.
Anyway I am off to bed, poor sleepy painted girl I am.

Currently listening: Eye To The Telescope By KT Tunstall Release date: By 07 February, 2006

Man I am tired which would not be such a big deal except I am babysitting Nadia today and I feel bad because I should be taking her to the park instead of sitting her in front of the TV (thank heaven for Cartoon Network and Disney) I will take her to the park next time I babysit, which is usually only for a few hours in the afternoon instead of all day.
Yesterday morning at around 8am my Mom called and asked if I could come and get her at 10 t take her to an appointment since her tire is totally flat and blown and of course I could not get back to sleep so I headed over there with a book and picked her up and we drove to the other side of town and I waited out in the car reading and drinking a lousy 7-11 latte (peach cobbler latte tastes good for about 3 oz then it is just icky) I waited outside because my car is more comfortable then the chairs inside the place and that early in the morning the weather was perfect.
After her appointment we went to GOLDEN CORRAL to eat since you can actually eat really healthy there if you try, I feel bad cause mom paid and the latte had made me so sick to my tummy I only had a piece of meatloaf, a little bourbon chicken, carrots, cabbage and strawberries. That is the only problem with buffets is you feel like you are not getting your money worth if you dont eat more.
We headed over to Home depot so mom could get some bug bombs for my grandmas crawlspace under the house (she has ants and nothing seems to work with them no matter how clean you keep everything, they even eat bar soap) we went to grandmas and mom crawled under the house and set the bombs off and we moved a big chair out of the sewing room so I could check on my store of black material, I need to make some light weight black dresses for summer.
I dropped mom off at her house and headed home and read some more until *A* showed up and we napped for about 30 minutes then decided to go to happy hour at Cafe Ole where we each had a Margarita and some chips and salsa.
We came back to my place and took a nap and so of course I ended up not sleeping until 4am and had to get up at to get Nadia around 9. You know I remember in the old days when I would sleep 4 hours, get up be up all day and sleep another 4 hours only and then party all night. I am sure part of it is my meds but sad to say some of it is the fact that I am getting old..SOB
Getting old SUCKS

Currently watching: Teen Titans - The Complete First Season (DC Comics Kids Collection) Release date: By 07 February, 2006

I got up at 8:10 to go and get Jeff for work, Marissa has started working the day shift on Sunday, I had been up til after 3 the night before so I should have come home and gone strait to bed but I decided to stop by Big City Cafe on state street and sat there reading stupid magazines and drinking coffee for an hour and a half.

After talking to my dad and getting a little nap in I went over to my Grandmas house for a Fathers day picnic. As I have mentioned my grandfather has been horribly ill, life and death stuff and this last week he got off of dialysis and we have all realized that we have no idea how long he will be around. He is around 82 now and stubborn as a mule when it comes to taking care of himself so everyone wanted to be sure to spend some time with him.
My uncles Steve and Harley were there with their families and my brother and his GF where there when I got there. I wanted to bring something but I am pretty broke so I used this coupon I had from Fred Meyers for a free pound of Gourmet olives and antipasto, I got olives stuffed with garlic and almonds, Greek olives, pickled peppers and mozzarella balls, I only had to pay $3.59 for the little bit that went over a pound (that stuff is $9 a pound!)
We had fried chicken, potato salad, pasta salad, cake, fried rice and other deli salads so it was a pretty good meal. I didnt bring any leftovers home and now I wish I had. LOL I am a bit hungry after going out. But I wasnt feeling all that good after eating. I still have that stupid thing about half the time where I get sick to my stomach after I eat no matter how much or how little I eat.
I came home and read the rest of one of my silly romance books and relaxed then watched THE 4400 and DEAD ZONE and then I hate to admit it but I watched and totally enjoyed WENDY WU, HOMECOMING WARRIOR on The Disney channel. Yes I love silly ass movies just like I love silly ass comic romances. I got ready for Industria while watching the movie which ended at 10:45 so I made it to the club at 11.

Currently watching: The 4400 - The Complete Second Season Release date: By 23 May, 2006

I called my dad this morning and left him a message for Fathers day, I took a nap for about 45 minutes and he called and we talked for a while. We talked about how you have to separate the chronic pain (in my case my knees in his case my step mothers declining health) from your everyday life.
People always think it is weird when they ask how I am doing and I say I am fine, my arthritis is acting up though. They say well then you are not fine. But here is the thing, I HURT EVERYDAY. That is not going to go away, I have to decide if it is going to define me and my mood or not.
I sometimes jokingly call myself a cripple when it I get a really bad flair-up and have to use a cane and it drives my mom nuts, she honestly hates its and jumps on my for it. She tells me if I talk like that it will be true. The thing she does not realize is I know I am not truly a cripple, I have seen people in so much worse shape then me and even though my pain is the only pain I can deal with I know it is not the end all and be all of my life.
I am not my pain anymore then I am my mental illness.
Dad was saying how he found himself answering the question of how he was doing by saying She has been having a good (or bad) week his life was defined by it. He still cares about it, it is still one of the most important things he deals with in the world but he realized he had to take care of himself to take care of the problems in his life.
I have realized I have to stay on my meds, stay healthy and most of all stay happy or I might as well give up and stop trying to walk at all. I cant let my pain, I cant let my BPD or my Bi-Polar or anything else rule my life, I have to continue to see the good side of things or I might as well curl up and die.
We are suppose to get together for Sushi this week and I hope we do because I enjoy talking to my dad and dont get a chance to do it enough.

Saturday was a slow mellow day, I didnt have to go anywhere or do anything in particular. I was hurting a bit from walking so much on Friday but Ill survive.
The only place I went was the store and Hastings where I read half of MaryJanice Davidsons Undead and Unpopular the last in her Undead comic series. I like her books because they are so silly and dont take themselves seriously, there is too much in my life right now that is serious I dont need to read or watch it too.
I pulled something in my neck so I took a Flexeril which put me to sleep until 10pm when I got up and started watching three old William Powell and Myrna Loy movies, Double Wedding (1937) ILove You Again (1940) and Libeled Lady (1936) I kept thinking how well these movies would translate into modern day movies or not, things like a running gag about one of the women smoking too much (that just doesnt go these days) but a lot of the rest of it could be changed to modern times pretty easy.
Other then that the only thing I did last night was put a copper glaze on my bangs and along the front of my face, I now wish I had done my entire head but I am not sure if this stuff strips the hair or not. It was one of the boxes of dye I got for $2 at Albertsons last week, I think it looks great.
Like I said mellow day.


Libeled Lady: 1936
Bill Chandler: I thought that was rather clever of me.
Connie Allenbury: Yes, I thought you thought so.

Currently reading: Undead and Unpopular By MaryJanice Davidson R

I picked Nadia up around 1 and since they could not find a swimsuit for her or shorts without buttons I took her to ROSS and found a swimsuit for her (which is harder then you might think since I had only a little to spend and because pretty much everything they had in her size was a bikini and her dad says no way in hell to that. We found a Strawberry Shortcake suit one size bigger then her for $6 that fit her alright)
I had to keep Nadia til 6:30, by the time we got the suit and drove all the way across town to the West Y (they have a much better pool set up) it was 2 by the time we got in the water. I had drank a lot of coffee but forgot to get anything for breakfast so I was already hungry by then. The Y has a policy that if a child can not swim that their adult has to be close by either sitting on the edge in the kiddie pool or swimming near them in the larger pool so I spent 3 ½ hours either sitting in or on the edge of the kiddie pool or wading around with Nadia in the smaller pool (that one is only 4 3 at its deepest but has 4 full 25 yard laps) I probably played toss the child in the water 100 times.
We finally got out and got dressed at about 5:45and headed home with Nadia whining about starving to death, thankfully I had some coupons for Artic Circle which is on the way home and after searching my wallet and my car found enough for us both to get chicken sandwiches,
We made it back to their house at exactly 6:35 to find a banner for Nadia and the apt decorated. They bought 3 pizzas and made a cake and we had Oreo Ice cream. You would think after a full size sandwich Nadia would be full but she had pizza, cake and ice cream.
They were thinking of going to a movie but they would have had to wait til 9 just to go and so Marissa and Nadia decided to go swimming at Veterans Park pond so we loaded up my van with Jeff, Marissa, Nadia and Danielle and myself and headed over there. Good thing floating around in water and soaking in the hot tub made my legs feel better because I forgot how long a walk it was to the backside of the pond.
There we were sitting while Nadia and Marissa waded in the water and I see this family go by and the dad is telling his kids on a bike and scooter to stay on the right side of the path. I say to Jeff wow that guy looks like Adrian (from Monday night gaming) he agrees and then we both say that since he lives like 15 miles away we doubt it. Finally we all call out Adrian and damned if it isnt him and his wife and their 3 little boys. We all sat around while the kids waded in the water and talked until the sun went down.
Thankfully we walked back with them and their youngest wanted to walk (he is like 2 or 3) and so I actually had someone to walk with since I walk so slow.
I dropped Marissa and Jeff and Nadia off at their place then took Danielle home and got home just in time to watch a 4 hour marathon of the newest Dr Who.

I really love that show, partly cause I think the guy who plays the dr for the first season is hot (Christopher Eccleston), he is a totally goofy looking guy but he has this wicked smile that I adore. I am still pissed that the Dr changes at the end of the season even though I am sure the new guy will be ok, but I doubt he will be as cute. OK I admit I like strange guys.



The Doctor: No*! 'Cause this is what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna rescue her! I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth, and *then* - just to finish you off - I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Emperor Dalek: But you have no weapons, no defences, no *plan*!
The Doctor: Yeah, and doesn't that scare you to death?
[to Rose]
The Doctor: Rose?
Rose: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.

Currently watching: Doctor Who - The Complete First Season Release date: By 04 July, 2006

I lucked out on Wednesday and got a great deal on hair dye, two boxes Granier and two boxes of streaking in red for $5 total on final closeout.
Thursday I picked up Nadia and gave her her birthday present, a make-up kit, a fancy coin purse and $10 in quarters. She was so cute we stopped for Ice cream and she said she wanted to pay for her own so I let her. She kept counting her quarters and telling me how many there were.
Thursday evening I went to the Goth Get together at Flying M coffee house, about 10 people showed including me and we had a great talk about the Balcony changing things around and whether or not they are keeping Industria or not. We couldnt really think of a reason they wouldnt it isnt like the bar would be any fuller on a Sunday Night without us. We will see this weekend I think since they are going to close for 5 days starting Sunday the 25th for renovation. Hopefully they will fix the sound system and get a new DJ (oh well a girl can dream)
Today is Nadias birthday and Marissa wants to give her a surprise party so I am picking her up and hopefully taking her swimming (if they can find her suit or something for her to swim in) and to the park or over here to watch cartoons for a while. I have really been slacking on working out in the pool so I hope they can find something for her to swim in.
It is hard because the Y downtown is all cold water and the pool is not set up with anywhere a person can walk since the lap pool is always in use for competitive swimmers and the West Y is FAR from my house out off of Cloverdale and Chinden (I live near the Mall area) With gas at nearly $3 a gallon and my van only getting about 17 miles per gallon it is about a gallon per trip.

Oh yeah and grandpa is off of dialysis they think his kidneys will start to work enough again for him to stay off of it, which is great news if he would just stop being such a fuss about eating anything.

I wonder if I am the only person this ever happens to?
Every damn time I get a sinus cold and I get all stuffed up I end up crying about something stupid. I ended up crying at the end of Robin Williams HOOK for heaven sakes.
I have come to the opinion that this is my bodies way to deal with being stuffed up since crying gets me all unstuffy. I can understand that since I end up with such horrible headaches when I have a sinus cold and my body has to do something to make it better, what I dont get is why I always end up crying over the dumbest stuff possible.
Anyway I think I am the only person this happens to because most of the time when I ask people about ti they look at me like I am wacko.

Currently watching: Doctor Who - The Complete First Season Release date: By 04 July, 2006

My mom is great, she is over here helping me clean the kitchen. It is so hard for me to keep it cleaned or to clean it since the last two or three weeks I have barely been able to stand in one place for 10 minutes without feeling like I am going to fall over and not get up. It is amazing how messy a kitchen can get in 3 weeks.
We went to breakfast at Rockies Diner, since it is 6-6-6 I wore my devil horns in to the restaurant. Then we went to Elton and Cheryls shop SOMETHING WICKED for their $6.66 sale. I bought a cool purse, it is round, black vinyl with a sparkly red bat on it, not bad for under $7.
I cant believe how wiped out I get just doing basic stuff, part of it is because I just dont sleep well at night, the pain keeps me awake. I think part of it is also the meds, they make me shaky and tired but I really dont have a choice if I want to keep going at all.
I know I am drinking too much coffee but I am so tired during the day, it is a vicious cycle, coffee makes it harder to sleep but I am so tired I crave it.
Anyway my only plans so far for the rest of the day is to rest and put ice on my knee, always fun that.

Currently listening: Almost Human By Voltaire Release date: By 01 August, 2000

I got up early and thought about going to physical therapy, just as I was getting out of bed Marissa called and asked if I was interested in going to breakfast, well I am not one who gives up temptation easy so I said Yes. I went to get out of bed and twisted my knee under me, I thought I would pass out, I swear it hurt that bad but I got out of bed and got dressed and hobbled out to the car.
Marissa actually beat me to chefs hut, I guess I spent longer sitting on the bed wondering if I was going to pass out then I thought. I had my favorite breakfast, a toasted onion bagel, cream cheese, sliced tomatoes and bacon with coffee while Marissa had one of their small omelets which was so big she could not finish it. I am going to ask next time if they can make it a half serving of bacon, I know it is not the most healthy breakfast I could have but it beats the two big pieces of French toast and bacon I use to have.
We went back to my place to drop off my van and to get me some pain meds since we had decided to go to Ross and the fabric store. Marissa found a great shirt and a dress and I found another Buddha statue for $6... Yes I have a bunch of them and no I am not a Buddhist I just like them. We then went over to Home Fabrics where they use to have a lot more cool fabric but now it is at least half carpets and rugs and they only have the least little bit of non upholstery material but I did find this great dragon and flame material for a baby blanket I am making.
Marissa dropped me at my place and I changed clothes (I was wearing my new cotton and velvet dress but it was over 90* today so that was a no go) and then stopped to get cashiers checks for my bills and headed over to see how grandma and grandpa were doing and look for more material for the blanket. My grandma was out at the spa and my mom was watching grandpa, because even though he seems to be getting better he cant be alone yet.

It is scary, less then a month ago he was doing great, in the backyard cutting up branches (he likes to trim the bushes then cut the branches really small so they fit in the garbage cans) and just being grandpa. Now he is only just getting so he can walk without a walker a ways and everyone has to beg and cajole him to eat even a few bites of food to keep him going, he has probably lost 20 pounds, and even though he is aware what is going on most of the time he gets really confused when he is tired. It is just scary that life can change so quickly.
I see my grandmother with my grandfather and I see how devastated she is with worry over him and all I can think is I dont want to ever love someone so much that it will destroy me when they are gone, but I know I will be that way with her since she is pretty much my best friend. Love for anyone other then family and Nadia has never been anything more then pain for me and I honestly think if I could spend the rest of my life never getting deeply in love again I would.

OK I am totally off track
Marissa and I decided to take Nadia to the Y on one of my guest passes (I get 6 a year) and I am trying to get them to apply at the Y and see how much it will cost them to get a family membership, I want to be able to bring Nadia with me to swim if I have to babysit her this summer. Marissa couldnt find her suit so I went to get Nadia and she went to the Swim and Run shop and bought one. I didnt tell Nadia where we were going only that we had a special surprise planned and she would have to promise to be extra good.
When we got to their house Marissa was wearing her suit so Nadia guessed and was thrilled. We got to the Downtown Y at the end of Senior swim which worked great for me because they had the portable stairs set up, even though the West Boise Y is about twice as far away I prefer it because they have stairs built into their pools. Nadia is going to need to get swimming lessons this summer so we just played around the edges of the shallow end then she went and played with the other kids in the kiddie pool while Marissa and I soaked in the hot tub.
We got done in time to get Jeff from work and stop at Albertsons to pick up a couple of pizzas and some stuff for nachos. We got to the house and Nadia and I watched Nanny McPhee while Jeff and Marissa cleaned and cooked dinner and got ready for the game. Marissa changed her schedule around at work so that she could get Monday nights off to join the game again. Only problem tonight was Adrians youngest son and wife were sick so he could not come over and play but he said play without him. We only got to play for about an hour and a half since we were goofing off and being silly but it was fun anyway. Now we have to miss the game for two weeks since Jeff H and Grant are going out of town next Monday and not getting back till the Monday after that, late. Jeff talked to Adrian so he is going to play Vampire slayer with us on those two Mondays which works out since we just havent been able to arrange a time to play lately.
I had to drop the rent check in the box here tonight or pay an extra $75, which I just dont have to spare so I wrote RENT!!!!!!! on my arm in black ink and yes I did remember, which for me is good by 11:30 at night. Tomorrow is 06-06-06 so Jeff borrowed a pair of my horns to wear around town, I think I will wear the other pair just for the hell of itLOL
Anyway I found a parking spot in my actual parking lot. SHOCK, it is usually impossible after 10 pm to get parking here and I am still hurting from this morning so I was thrilled to not have to walk around the block or farther.
All together it was a great day. Now if I can just get to sleep after having way too much coffee.

Currently watching: Nanny McPhee Release date: By 01 August, 2006

Oh man I had a horrible night trying to sleep, my neighbors across the parking lot decided to have a party, ok no big deal, except for some reason most of it took place in the driveway, til 3 am they were out there being loud, shouting at each other across the driveway and driving in and out of the place, first revving their cars.
I had an upset tummy and couldnt stand to lay down at all for over an hour around 2 to 3.
They finally shut up and I fall asleep and move in my sleep and bolt awake with the worse pain down my right knee, it is worse then walking on it and I have no idea what I did. It hurt like that for at least half an hour and has been a dull roar ever since.
Then around 4 am one of my neighbors, who baby either has colic or is teething decided to take the baby for a walk,, while it screamed and cried and bawled it head off and they walked back and forth in the parking lot, I am sure they did it to not disturb the person they live with but it disturbed everyone. After about 40 mins of it someone finally screamed at them to shut up but it went on at least another 20.
My upstairs neighbor did not get a lot of sleep either and every time they got up I heard the floor creak, the only good thing about them so far is they go to bed early and by the time they wake up I am usually asleep already and dont hear the noise. All the creaking and stuff kept making my half awake brain think someone was opening the front door so I kept waking up wondering what was happening.
Man I miss living in front of the complex where my worse noise annoyance was kids playing after 9 am across the street and birds in the tree.

Currently watching: Dr. Who: Daleks Invasion Earth 2150 A.D.

I went to breakfast with *A* at Café Ole near my house after physical therapy and then came home and put ice on my knee for a while and took a nap, the pain meds make me sleepy. Around 3 Marissa called and asked if I wanted to go to a movie tonight, at first I said no but then I called her back and said I would and I met her and Danielle for lunch at you guessed it Café Ole. So today so far I have had a taco salad and an enchilada del mar. I am seriously going to have to only go to chef's hut a few times I can't afford to go anywhere else after buying groceries yesterday and gas today (I put $50 on my gas card and so I spent nearly $100 on gas already this month)
Marissa took D home and then went to get her brother and uncle while I picked Jeff up at work, then we went to see X-MEN 3 I had just seen the first two over again on cable this week so that was nice.
Yes I have heard just about everyone I know slam the movie, and yes there was a lot I thought they could of done better, where they went so far off the comic books that I just gave up and watched the movie as if it had no past other then the other movies.
I actually liked it quite a bit, and to be honest I am surprised by that since I have heard so many bad things about it and yes I am a 25 year fan of the comics, but there is only so much you can do in under 2 hours.
I would have preferred to see it at the Dollar theater but I had not been to the new multi-plex downtown so it was nice to go and see what it was like.
I am still walking with the cane, I like not feeling like I am going to fall over and I like to play with it. I just wish this newest flair up would go away.

Currently watching: X2 - X-Men United (Widescreen Edition) Release date: By 25 November, 2003